All Cretins Are Liars

Steamin' Norman.

There’s a scene beloved among fans of the original Star Trek — no, not the Green Babe — where a classic Greek paradox is enacted for our viewing pleasure.

The setup is that Kirk and his nemesis Harry Mudd are being held captive by a group of androids. Kirk tells the Head Android that Mudd is a congenital liar. Whereupon Mudd tells the Android, “I am lying.”

This, as they say, does not compute. The Android tries to work out the logic — if Mudd is a liar, then his statement is a lie, but if his statement is a lie, then he’s telling the truth, only he’s a liar — and by the third or fourth round, smoke starts issuing from his ears. And then his head tilts.

Which is a fair description of what happened to us when we learned that Rush Limbaugh and his merry band of wingnuts are calling for a boycott of GM because we own it now.

Right-Wingers To Boycott GM? [TPM]

Wow, this is great: Rush Limbaugh wants Barack Obama to fail and he’s willing to kill off General Motors to achieve his goal.

At what point do we get to call Limbaugh and his ilk “un-American.”

@Serolf Divad:
I think it’s safe to say that Rush and his band of brain dead fat assed fuck faced ditto heads are a bunch of childish dipshits who unconsciously project themselves onto everyone they hate.

What’s more pathetic is that they are so unaware they don’t even see it that way.

Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Right Wing Radio Fat Guy
(Mr. Right Wing Radio Fat Guy)
In the throes of the Right Wing Raygun revolution, there were messengers on the AM radio spewing forth about libruls. Usually a miserable and sometimes fat guy who couldn’t get laid and instead of looking at himself blamed everyone but.
(And that but/butt IS huge!)
What do you do when you have no education, talent or emotional awareness what so ever but want to rule the world? Start shitting on everyone who does till your boys get in charge!
(Hippies, godless libruls, homos and feminazis are why I can’t get LAID!)
And what happened? Lousy on defense/war. Can’t manage a budget. Can’t run a government. Stumbled on the economy. Used as a checker in the Class Warfare chess game. Environment quickly dying. WE WERE IN CHARGE and I GOT RICH ENOUGH TO BUY “LADIES” SO IT’S ALL GOOD!!! But I can’t get it up without a little blue pill…
(Its really all the media’s fault for focusing on all the bad things!!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Figuratively and literally deaf limp dicked fatass. You earned it for taking down YOUR political movement so that some jackass who thinks he’s funny can rip you apart in a fake Bud Light commercial…
(Mr. Right Wing Radio Fat Guy)

i was reading the letters to editor, think it was new yorker, following up the previous cover story on madoff.
the ed. said for the first time EVAH they received song lyrics, and reprinted 3 of them.
when words fail at the heinous, we must have musical theater!!!
none were better than yours, btw.

@baked: Girlfriend, the second to last sentence in that paragraph should be the Twitter status for our corner of the Interwebs.

Note: they do not want to kill GM, as such. What they’re really after is the UAW. See, e.g., Sens. Shelby and Corker circa the first round of bailouts back in Decemberish.

Hey Rush, I would have mailed you this ‘fuck you’ but the government owns the postal system. And I would have listened to your radio show, but the government owns the frequency.

Way off-topic TJ. I heard Richard Thompson sing this last Saturday:

Oh says Red Molly to James “That’s a fine motorbike.
A girl could feel special on any such like”
Says James to Red Molly “My hat’s off to you
It’s a Vincent Black Lightning, 1952.
And I’ve seen you at the corners and cafes it seems
Red hair and black leather, my favourite colour scheme”
And he pulled her on behind and down to Boxhill they did ride

Oh says James to Red Molly “Here’s a ring for your right hand
But I’ll tell you in earnest I’m a dangerous man.
For I’ve fought with the law since I was seventeen,
I robbed many a man to get my Vincent machine.
Now I’m 21 years, I might make 22
And I don’t mind dying, but for the love of you.
And if fate should break my stride
Then I’ll give you my Vincent to ride”

“Come down, come down, Red Molly” called Sergeant McRae
“For they’ve taken young James Adie for armed robbery.
Shotgun blast hit his chest, left nothing inside.
Oh come down, Red Molly to his dying bedside”
When she came to the hospital, there wasn’t much left
He was running out of road, he was running out of breath
But he smiled to see her cry
He said “I’ll give you my Vincent to ride”

Says James “In my opinion, there’s nothing in this world
Beats a 52 Vincent and a red headed girl.
Now Nortons and Indians and Greeves won’t do,
Ah, they don’t have a soul like a Vincent 52”
Oh he reached for her hand and he slipped her the keys
Said “I’ve got no further use for these.
I see angels on Ariels in leather and chrome,
Swooping down from heaven to carry me home”
And he gave her one last kiss and died
And he gave her his Vincent to ride

@Dodgerblue: RT is a true lord, “Vincent Black Lightning” one of many jewels in his crown. Did he play “Dad’s gonna kill me”, his nod to the troops? Was he solo or with his band?

@Nabisco: Yes, he played “Dad’s gonna kill me.” Solo, outdoors on the Santa Monica Pier, with a cool wind blowing off the ocean and the full moon rising.

Completely off-topic, but for all Seattle or near-Seattle Stinquers: I’ll be reading my smut (mentioned in the last book club post comments) on September 4th.


For some reason that reminds me of a favorite satirical poem by Peter S. Beagle in The Last Unicorn:

When I was a young man, and very well thought of,
I never asked aught that the ladies denied.
I nibbled their hearts like a handful of raisins,
And I never spoke love but I knew that I lied.
And I said to myself, “Oh, how little they know me,
There’s part of me pure as the whisk of a wave.
I’ll wait for the lady who’ll see through my seeming,
And I’ll know when I love by the way I behave.”

The years drifted o’er me like stars in the heavens,
The ladies went by me like snow on the wind.
I charmed and I cheated, deceived and dissembled,
And I sinned and I sinned and I sinned and I sinned.
And I said to myself, “Oh, how little they guess at
The secret I shelter and savor and save.
My lady is late, but she’ll find I’ve been faithful,
And I’ll know when I love by the way I behave.”

At last came a lady, both knowing and tender,
Who said, “You’re not all that they take you to be.”
I betrayed her before she had quite finished speaking,
And she swallowed cold poison and jumped in the sea.
And I say to myself, when there’s time for a word,
As I gracefully grow more debauched and depraved,
“Oh, love may be strong, but a habit is stronger,
And I knew when I loved by the way I behaved.”

Maybe it is the bittersweet, regretful tone? I’ll have to download “Vincent Black Lightning” and give it a listen- it’s beautiful poetry.

@Nabisco: Kind of like Craig T. Nelson complaining that nobody gave him a helping hand when he was on food stamps and welfare.

Oops — mind locked up again. Wingnut logic does that to me.


Excellent reference; I approve, highly.

(Which adjective may be interpreted widely)

Nojo: Great post, but could you connect this story up with the actual Greek story/tragedy?

It would help a lot, as I have been thinking about utilizing metaphors from the Greek Mythology.


They fashioned a tomb for thee, O rotund and high one
The Cretins, always liars, evil beasts, idle bellies!
But thou art not dead in the head: thou rantest and broadcast forever,
For in thee we jump and jiggle and hate our being.

– Epimenides, Cretica (rev.)

Trekkie note: In researching this post (for memory fails four decades on, despite having watched each original episode some twenty times), I discovered that the Lucasfying of the series was even worse than I thought.

Not only have they replaced all the original Enterprise shots with digital blasphemies — but when Norman the Android’s belly is opened to reveal the clockwork within, they’ve inserted something similar to Data’s innards.

Heresy! Light the torches! Storm the gates of the Paramount Beast!

@nojo: what is the Greek for “jump and jiggle”?

@nojo: Coach’s food stamps came from the Food Stamp Fairy and his welfare from a helpful little poltergeist.

@Dodgerblue: what is the Greek for “jump and jiggle”?


@nojo: I guess I asked for that one. I was wondering if Sophocles wrote “Jump, Jive and Wail.”

@Dodgerblue: I’m sure you can find that in the Symposium somewhere, probably around the section where Socrates considers slipping a hand inside the young soldier’s toga.

@nojo: A friend’s sister was Mrs. Nelson in the ’90s.

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