Douchebag of the Day

I simply can’t decide:

1. Joel Pollak, Harvard Law Student.

will_george2. George F. Will, Climate Change Denier.

An umpire can fail once in a high-stakes moment and be remembered for that forever. It is amazing how rarely they fail as they strive not to be noticed in their pursuit of unobtrusive perfection.

asian-americans_not-in-texas3. Betty Brown, State Representative (R-TX).

Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?” Brown said.

Brown later told [Organization of Chinese Americans representative Ramey] Ko: “Can’t you see that this is something that would make it a lot easier for you and the people who are poll workers if you could adopt a name just for identification purposes that’s easier for Americans to deal with?”

This isn’t an easy one.  Any thoughts?


Putting George Will in a “douchebag of the day” competition is like putting Willie Mays in a neighborhood pick-up softball tournament.

One of these things is not like the other:

“POLLAK: Well, after spending the entire speech blaming conservatives — I happen to think of myself as of as a conservative, and I rent and I think of myself as someone who cares about poor people — I’m just interested in whether you think you have any responsibility…”

Betty is just sick and tired of being called “Betty Blown” by her Asian constituents.

Anglicization is a choice. Like the choice I made to keep my anglicized name and the one my parents made to help me fit in the rural area I grew up in. Not going to be imposed because some dumbshit can’t pronounce Chop Suey.

I have not yet met a Harvard law grad who was not both insufferable and completely incompetent. Which actually surprises me, because I have met many Harvard undergrad grads who were mostly very gifted.

George will, by the way, is a great example of what I mean when I speak of insufferable idiots. He will win every time you hold an asshole, douchbag, douchenozzle, shitstick, fuckstick, dipshit, or dickwad contest.

If you follow the link to learn more about Mr. Frank’s interlocutor, I think we have a winner.

@Prommie: I worked for one – he held a brief he was supposed to be editing for three days, then told me he hadn’t read it because I hadn’t put it in a binder.

Every time I see George Will, I get the urge to give him one of:
1) A wet willie
2) A noogie
3) A purple nurple
4) An atomic wedgie

Or all of the above. It’s usually all of the above.

And this coming from a guy who hates bullies.

@Prommie: While mostly true, you would be run out of the room at one of my family reunions for saying such a thing.

From the Sadly, No! comments:


I’m now in my third year at Harvard Law School and I’ve spent my last two summers working at a civil rights NGO in Israel and volunteering as a speechwriter for John McCain.

More Pollak (from a few years back):

Joel Pollak is a writer and actor based in Cape Town, South Africa.


And, of course, he has a blog.

This excange with Frank is a break for him, as it appears his usual shtick is to run around challenging the current Israel/apartheid South Africa comparison whenever it raises its ugly head.

By the way, here’s how the Harvard University Gazette reported Frank’s talk. Pollak is an aside.

@mellbell: I am sure I have a skewed sample; the only harvard law grads I cross paths with are probably the bottom of the barrel.

@blogenfreude: I had contemplated dumping the load on Ms Brown still nojo alerted me to backstory on Pollak. I was till seeing some wiggle room till your Theatre! link revealed his association with Elizabeth Swados. That does it for me. He is the douchebag of the day.

Is this awesome or what? It’s kinda like how you get to vote at hotchickswithdouchebags. Not that I ever read that site.

@Prommie: Yalies are worse. But I think making Will the douchebag of the “day” is insufficient recognition of his talents. Month, at least.

@Benedick: I’ve come around to your way of thinking. We’ll have to keep an eye on this guy.

checking in to say hi…miss you guys. i’m taking a much need break from politics. george will is the meryl streep of douchebags. he just keeps getting douchier. he is entitled to a golden douche bag. mounted.
george, please. shut the fuck up.

@baked: Hi, baked.

@blogenfreude: Shouldn’t be hard. He’ll no doubt explode all over Fox and other wingnut welfare sites. Oh and think tanks. He’ll be big in the think tanks of Retardia.

@Benedick: the think tanks of Retardia.

Sounds like the title of a rousing shanty.

TJ/ No time for douchebags, there’s a whale swimming in the Hudson River!! I need live, minute-by-minute coverage.

@Benedick: The think tanks of retardia! The answer to the question “who came up with this shit?” So thats where they came up with the invisible hand and the laffer curve! The War on Drugs, the deregulation of the finance industry, and New Coke. The think tanks of retardia, the source of all truly inspired idiocy.


We miss you too, baked. I loved the pictures on Flickr; you seem happier now than in a long time.

Stop by for a chat; we can always gossip about boys instead of politics ; )

And forget the news for awhile. My take is that there’s nothing you can do about 99% of it, so there’s no benefit in needlessly stressing out.

@Mistress Cynica: Seems like it’s trying to get a date. Should head south to NJ’s famed Guido Beach.

Come to think of it, this award should be named “The George Will Daily Citation for Springtime Freshness”

I just popped in to say that woman is not from my part of Texas. She is from N. Texas near Dallas.

Repeat: DALLAS.

That is all.

@nojo: Did you read any of the comments? Heelarious!

Oh, and I vote for the HLS bastard and thank FSM he didn’t (get in?) go to Stanford. My HLS hate is strong. So is my pimp arm.

@redmanlaw: @Benedick:

Oh Ha-Ha. You know if we got a room all we’d end up doing is her hair….

TJ/ Anyone know what or where “Civony” is? Apparently there is a lingerie-clad queen waiting. For me. If I would only click the ad to the le

@Nabisco: I got the same ad. Google Earth isn’t being helpful.

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: Comment O’the Day.

@Nabisco, @Dodgerblue: : Queen? I didn’t know you swung that way.

@IanJ: Great, now there’s a knight. Curses!

I vote for the Federalist Society gunner tool from HLS with the history of black face and jazz hands.

In fact, I vote for the entire Federalist Society for douchebags of the past 4 decades.

But George Will is shooting fish in a barrel in terms of douchebaggyness.

Here’s my DIY George Will ad-lib column:

____[insert his topic of the day]____is destroying America with the assistance of _____[choose one: liberals, feminists, environmentalists]___ and we must fight back. Things were so much better in the ’50s when _____[insert minority group]____ knew where they belonged, like the _____[insert name of baseball team that has left NYC area for the West Coast]_____ charged 5 cents to see the games.
____[Insert lame cheesy Field of Dreams nostalgia re: baseball___.

In conclusion, that’s why we need to _____[choose as many as you want: cut taxes, increase defense spending, outlaw abortion, criminalize sodomy, eliminate affirmative action, deport the Mexicans]___.

The End.

@Nabisco & @Dodgerblue:

Hey, are you guys getting ads for sexxxy sexxxy time?

Damn, I’m just getting pitches to earn my online degree in high school, TV/VCR repair, computer programming, auto mechanics, bookkeeping, day care, and many other exciting fields.

@Nabisco: *sigh* I get all the boring ads, mine is just some text telling me to “Cut down on 1 lbs(!?) of stomach fat every day by obeying these 2 weird rules”, which I assume are 1) constant sit-ups and 2) tapeworm!

@SanFranLefty: I like it … throw in a few needless adjectives and a couple references to St. Ronnie and you’re done.

@blogenfreude: Yes, I should have included the obligatory Ronnie dick-suck and gratuitous use of adverbs.

@JNOV: Hmm, I think there was a few of those type of guys out at the Farm Law School, though they seemed to spend most of their time at GSB. Or at the Blue Chalk picking up undergrads.


You forgot a line to complain about some fine point of grammar.

@Nabisco: @drinkyclown: I am told you can buy some nice fresh tapeworm eggs, or whatever it is they reproduce by, parts of their tail fall off, is what I understand, and use them to lose weight! Yay! But srisly, there is research that some interpret as showing that we are evolved to deal with parasites as a normal condition, and that giving people a tapeworm can help autoimmune diseases, it gives the immune system something real to worry about so it doesn’t get bored and attack you.

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket:
I associate that tendency with Safire.

[stammering guilty look]….or I associate that with me.

Last minute entry to the contest might win:

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Congressman Spencer Bachus (R-Alabama) and his list of 17 members of Congress who are socialists.

George’s bow tie reminds me of a frenum piercing. I gues that makes him a dick-head.

@Jamie Sommers: Yeah, that was my first response – to Google and pray to FSM that she wasn’t representing my old ‘hood.

Of course she’s from Dallas. Fucking valet parking at the grocery store in Dallas.

Sorry to be a race-traitor, but I just can’t stand Barney Frank. Joel the Lawyer may be a douchebag, but Barney has been a consummate enabler of Wall Street oligarchs for many years and also whenever I hear his voice I feel like I have to duck spittle.

@SanFranLefty: Did he remember to include the guy from Vermont who actually is a socialist?


Oh wow, I thought I was the only one.

I just find him bitchy and irritating.

@Original Andrew: It’s a positive thing when the gheys don’t have to be praised just because they’re the ghey. I know, because I earn my share of deserved opprobrium.

@Original Andrew: today, the flat stomach ad. I’ll keep it in mind when I go across the street for chicken soft tacos.

@Dodgerblue: I’m getting an ad for “Mormon Family 72 Hour Kits” which I guess are some sort of earthquake emergency kit with three sets of clean magic undies.

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