Characteristics of Mormon Crickets

Do these crickets wake you up at 8am on a Sat?

“What we got here, is failure to communicate. Some men you just can’t reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it… well, he gets it. I don’t like it any more than you men.

Look at your rich men fighting
Look at your investors crying
Look at your fortunes dying
The way they’ve always done before…”

Apparently, we little folks have no money either so it’s now Green On Green (aka Rich Civil Class War.)

http://www.newsweek.com/id/188584?from=rss

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gawd sent seagulls to Salt Lake City to dispatch the crickets when Brigham Young took the sheeple to UT. Why do they need $ to address the cicadas? Has Gawd forsaken His Chosen People?

I have this vision of a remake of Creep Show in which John McCain is the old man with the can of bug spray and gets devoured by Mormon Crickets.

Breeding begins within 10 to 14 days of reaching the adult stage.

Like regular Mormons, and the Palins.

I love that Bennett told Megyn Kelly to calm down. If only he had been in studio, he could have bitch slapped her. She needs it badly.

Speaking of Senators, Sen. Shitter (R-Diapers) threw a tantrum at Dulles. Would love to see TSA haul his diapered ass off to Gitmo.

@SanFranLefty: Best part is he ran away after giving the old “don’t you know who I am” line. He must have been late for a little toe tapping in the little boys’ room.

I wake up, the sun is shining, and Republicans are fighting with each other and Faux News. It’s a beautiful world.

@Jamie Sommers aka the Waco Kid: I’m sure if Wendy “Teh Crazee Eyes” Vitter had been there, she would have chewed off the security guard’s face.

@Bloggie: Yes, before you say it, I know by sharing this story I have just increased the likelihood of a Stormy post.

@Jamie Sommers aka the Waco Kid: “Well, I had to stop her screaming!”

@Mistress Cynica: Hey I meant to tell you, I finally looked at the February Jam photos and cracked up at the photo of your family with the servants in uniform. Crazy!

TJ/ Kellogg’s donates 2 tons of cereal boxes with known pothead/human dolphin Michael Phelps on the cover to SF food bank.

@SanFranLefty: Well, at least we know who will be chief of protocol on the SS Molly Ivins.

@SanFranLefty: Not Stormy today, but Bristol Palin. Just posted. I love that family – making bloggers’ lives easier since 2008.

SanFranLefty: Well, that is kind of awesome. And I suppose that they are not just doing that in SF. 2 tons sounds like a lot, but it is about 3-4k boxes, worth about $10-12k retail. Even in this economy, that’s nothing for Big Cereal. Production wise, that’s maybe 10 or 15 minutes of production time — they probably ran off much, much more cereal than that.

Nice story regardless. Propers shall be provided.

@Mistress Cynica: You are truly an optimist and a morning person! How’s Gwydion doing today?

@chicago bureau: If the food bank is wise, they’ll sell the (probably collectable) boxes on eBay and buy some real food with the proceeds. Or some weed.

@SanFranLefty: I posted that just for you. Glad you liked it.
@lynnlightfoot: I am soooo not either, life has just sucked so much recently that I have to desperately search our silver linings or I’d blow my brains out. And I do love me some schadenfreude with my morning coffee. Gwydion is doing much better, and I appreciate your concern. But fear not, vet clinic: another kitty has developed a terrible respiratory infection, so you’ll probably get your weekly $100 from me. Since my vet just left to serve nine months in Bagdad, I think I should get to deduct my vet bills for “supporting the troops.”

@Mistress Cynica: Is he in the Horse Artillery?

@redmanlaw: I see what you did there.

@redmanlaw: Colonel in the Reserves, but very clever. Just hope he doesn’t get stuck over there for over a year, like the last time he deployed.