Alternative Stimulus Packages

Naughty Nymphs Team: “During the month of February you can join our team, become a ROMANCE CONSULTANT, start your own business, and earn 50% sales commissions for only $99!  This is a great opportunity!”

Party Gals: “All you need to do is invite your fabulous friends, and ask them to bring some of their fabulous friends! Add some sexy refreshments, and we’ll bring the fun!”

Forbidden Pleasures: “Would you like to host a romance party? It’s easy — simply gather your friends for a fun and educational party. It’s free and Forbidden Pleasures offers something for everyone. Select from our lotions/potions, and quality adult toys, sensual spa products, and spicy lingerie. Forbidden Pleasures also offers offers theme parties as well as Pole Parties — contact your consultant for details.”

Essence of Romance: “At an Essence Of Romance Party, in the relaxed and comfortable atmosphere of your own home, Romance Specialists present a fun, tasteful, and educational presentation. Presentations detail quality romance enhancement products, sensual aids, adult sex toys, lotions, oils, lingerie and more, which are designed to help strengthen personal relationships and ignite the passion in your lives.”

Romance Home Parties: “Our quality products are safe, manufacturer tested and pass all required FDA tests.”

Romance Home Party [Google]

7 comments:

11:05 pm • Friday • February 6, 2009

Ah yes, porn pyramid schemes.

If only these people had been around in the late 70’s, when my dad and stepmother converted to Amway. (I suspect their Amway gatherings were really key parties, but dad is mum about it.)

12:41 am • Saturday • February 7, 2009

@Pedonator: Now I want to watch Ice Storm. Fuck.

12:44 am • Saturday • February 7, 2009

It’s a sad night in Stinquelandia when an After Dark post hangs out like a wallflower, lonely, too meek to beg for comments.

This is not a reflection on you, Nojo.

12:44 am • Saturday • February 7, 2009

@Promnight: Thank you! Can I buy you a drink?

12:51 am • Saturday • February 7, 2009

@Pedonator: Oh, my. Amway! My cousin/Godmother got into that shit. Mormons are especially adept at starting these multi-level whajamacallits. The ex-Mormon message board has some multi-level thingamajig horror story on it every month. Mormons are supposed to keep a stockpile of nonperishable food on hand for their version of the End Days, and that mentality seems to make them especially vulnerable to must-have survivalist merchandise. Hmmmm…maybe we should hang out with the Mormons during The Cannibalistic Anarchy.

12:54 am • Saturday • February 7, 2009

@JNOV: I’m with you sister. Anyway, I hear Mormon boys are especially tasty.

12:55 am • Saturday • February 7, 2009

@Pedonator: Indeed they are.

Add a comment