A Donut Filled With AWESOME
And so as the drama (?) plays out tomorrow up in Ottawa (will the new Liberal leader spike the Coalition? will he? will he?), let us take a step back and realize why Canada is so beloved among the nations of the world.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the non-embedded video of Rex Murphy’s impassioned defense defence of Tim Horton’s and attack on meddling municipal politicians and Starbucks — a portion of which is lovingly reproduced here:
We Canadians hold this truth to be self-evident: that the Boston Creme donut is the acme of human civilization as we know it, and that the only experience better than an early coffee and a Boston Creme is an early coffee and two Boston Cremes. Isn’t mathematics wonderful?
Oh, Canada! We stand on guard…. for…. thee!
Mmmmm … donuts.
I don’t know what a Boston Creme donut is, but I want one desperately.
They’re awfully filling. I’ll take two coffees and one Creme, thanks.
mmmm, Tim Hortons!!
As a non coffee drinking Canada City type, I advice old Rex Murphy to shove a bajillion Timbits up his Newfie Rhodes Scholarish ass.
If someone wants to get their morning coffee on the way to work, fine. Cause a big fucking traffic jam or accident in the process? Not so much.
Every fucking time they put in a Tim fucking Hortons, the street its on becomes as traffic jam and 40 fucking cars sit idling in the “drive” thru lane so the lazy fucks don’t have to park their fucking cars to get a coffee.
If it were up to me, I’d shut down every fucking fast food drive thru or if they really want their coffee/fast food then pay a premium green tax of say 100% to pay for the “convenience” of it all.
Note: I only use the drive thru if there is nobody there or I have no option (munchies at midnight) otherwise, I just park it and go in.
Boston Cremes are usually non hole doughnuts filled with custard or vanilla creme and covered with chocolate.
I prefer the Tim Hortons Honey Crullers myself.
The last time I flew into Ottawa, I was taken to a room and subjected to a complete search of my luggage, my PDA, and my laptop HDD. I had to smile and take it, because they took my passport from me while this violation of my rights was underway.
After almost an hour of going through every file (and “deleted” file) on my laptop HDD, I asked just what they were looking for. The response: “Child Pornography”. I then asked whether that was a popular and lucrative form of entertainment in Ottawa, and shortly thereafter I was on my way.
We Canadians are definitely meek and mild with our Boston Cremes. From wikipedia:
Tim Hortons has many outlets located on or near many Canadian Forces Bases. TDL Group announced in March 2006, in response to a request by Chief of the Defence Staff, General Rick Hillier, its commitment to open a franchised location at the Canadian Forces operations base in Kandahar, Afghanistan. The new Kandahar location opened on June 29, 2006 in a 40 foot trailer on the military base. The 41 staff members of the Kandahar outlet have been drawn from the Canadian Forces Personnel Support Agency who received training on such matters as how to handle a potential nuclear or biological attack before working at the military base. The Canadian Federal government subsidizes the operation of the Kandahar outlet in the order of CAD$4-5 million per year.
Of course, the doughnut claim to fame may soon take backstage to our worst-bailout-plan-ever claim to fame with a Prime Minster who thinks that tax cuts for renovating one’s cottage will save our economy.
Where’s the nearest vodka and doughnut shop?
@Mistress Cynica: mmm Boston Creeeeeeeeme. They’re like circular eclairs but BETTER.
I never got the appeal of the Boston Creme. The filling tasted, well, odd. Like tapioca mixed with vanilla mixed with God knows what.
Now then, the Dunkin’ Donuts jelly filled, lightly sugared? That is the best. It gives off the veneer of being healthy (there’s fruit in there!) but is a very satisfying sugar bomb.
And the Timbit is a cheap knock off of the Dunkin’ Donuts Munchkin. There. I said it.
@ManchuCandidate: Close, but Boston cream is always the gooey vanilla custard stuff; Bavarian cream is the fluffy vanilla cream. (I worked at a doughnut shop in high school; best job I ever had.)
I did a little checking out. Munchkin beat the Timbit by 3 years.
Oops, I always get those mixed up. Not a fan of cream filled doughnuts.
@Polly Jones: There’s more than one Canadian? Manchu’s been holding out on us.
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