The Stupid. It Burns.

this-15-minutes-needs-to-fucking-end“Joe” the “Plumber”:

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t think journalists should be anywhere allowed war. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what’s happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I think it’s asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you’d go to the theater and you’d see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for’em. Now everyone’s got an opinion and wants to downer–and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers.

Reminds me of Michelle Bachman.

I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you’re gonna sit there and say, “Well look at this atrocity,” well you don’t know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it.

Did you know that Joe the Plumber made the Beast’s list of the 50 most loathsome people in America?  He’s number 20:

Charges: The Che Guevara of bald, pissed off white men. In a lot of ways, Samuel Wurzelbacher really does represent the average American—basing economic opinions on unrealistic expectations of personal future success, blaming his failure to meet those expectations on minorities and old people, complaining about deadbeats getting his taxes when he isn’t actually paying his taxes, and advertising his own rudimentary historical and mathematical ignorance by warning of creeping socialism in a country whose highest income tax rate has dropped by half in thirty years. “Joe” indeed symbolizes the true American dream—to become undeservedly rich and famous through a dizzyingly improbable stroke of luck. As American folk heroes go, Wurzelbacher ranks somewhere between Hulk Hogan and Bernie Goetz.

Exhibit A: “Social Security is a joke…social security I’ve never believed in, don’t like it. I hate that it’s forced on me.”

Sentence: After blowing his fifteen minutes and all his money on coke and Thai hookers, an infirm, elderly Joe finds that social security actually is a joke, and is finally forced to snake toilets for a living.

As Atrios points out – Joe doesn’t piss liberals off. On the contrary, we just like to laugh at him.


Its really too perefectly stupid for words, so I am going to threadjack and direct everyone’s attention to a little gem, sure to delight, and to suprise anyone who is not familiar with House’s past life:

@Prommie: New rack?

And, although I can’t see videos at work, I’m guessting it’s Jeeves and Wooster.

Crist on a tanning bed!

Why are you trying to disturb his Cognitive Dissonant fueled hypocrisy, Bloggie?

Here is a man so profoundly unaware of the world, himself and his place in it. Leave him alone. To disturb it would lead to something akin to what happened to this fellow:

Or this:

@blogenfreude: No, something I have never seen before today, clips from another series they had called “A Little Bit Of Fry and Laurie.”

@blogenfreude: Not new, I have gone back to the old Salma Hayek rack avatar, prompted by the mentions of her at last night’s GGs.

What a fantastic idea! Don’t let the media into war zones, just have the government tell us how it is going. If only someone as smart as Joe had come along and told the Bush Administration this years ago, we would be in such great shape. I mean

Oh fuck, I am getting ready to go into a Prommie-length rant, so I am just going to stop here.

@Prommie: a gravatar we can believe in.

The missus grew up with Laurie in “Black Adder”, where apparently he was absolutely unrecognizable from the loveable curmudgeon-savant he plays on House. Most of the British humour ™ series sail well past me, except of course Monty Python. I like Bean but in very small doses.

@Prommie: Those are, in fact, GGs. Well played sir!

@homofascist: Sorry, just one question. I promise I will stop.

How old were you Joe during WWII (and WWI!) when you were watching this war footage at the movie theatres?

Duh! Fuckin’ Joe! Stoopid fuck! Yeah, it is fun to shit on this paragon of GOP intellectual achievement and moral authority but the Israelis, Gazans and the rest of the world just see him as a pig-ignorant, hyper-entitled self-absorbed American oaf, typical of all Americans. Probably wandering around right now asking people “where is Laura Logan hiding. Hehehe” and making them wretch. Hopefully, he’ll inspire the IDF and Hamas to launch their first join mission and behead the witless clod.

@FlyingChainSaw: What would you give to see him kidnapped, dressed up in a kefiyyeh, and paraded before the cameras?

I’m claiming August 12 in the Sex Video Lottery.

@blogenfreude: Almost as much as I would give to have him beheaded slowly with a farm implement while he shrieks patriotic and faux heroic cliches and swears his love for the Talibunny.

@FlyingChainSaw: Nah, far more fun for him to be released after a few years and watch the wingnuts parade him around the country as some sort of hero for getting himself snatched off the street. Blogging gold.

@blogenfreude: Oh, you think him being headless will contain or in any way slow his relentless self-promotion? He’ll still be a wingnut star, appearing at wingnut hatefests and randomly holding out his head – with both hands – to signal when he expects applause.

I’d hit it, Guv’ner! Cor! Stone the crows.

@nabisco: Example of English humor.

Goddamnit Wurzelbacher. This is America! Speak English, you retard!

I don’t mind going down on soliders. Is that what he is talking about?

@homofascist: I thought it was a typo for ‘drown soldiers’.

@Jamie Sommers: He speaks English like someone who learned it only by listening to others speak it.

I’m with @homofascist re the whole “let me stop here before I get Prommie on his ass.” This had me sputtering after the first sentence, and apoplectic by the end. Why does he EXIST???

And why do we have to keep staring at that ungodly Mr. Clean forehead!?

@RomeGirl: I cannot bring myself to watch the videos. I have not string-cursed in a while, and I like it this way, I am suffused with hopey-ness, its like “truthy.” Not quite Hope, but good enough for me right now.

I made up a word today, to refer to those kids on my lawn and the way they text constantly, I just don’t have the skills to work the phone like that, the young bastards are thumbidextrous.

@RomeGirl: We should set up a merchant accont on eBay and auction off parts of Joe – and then contact Hamas when the bids go over $1000 for specific body parts, make it worth their while to hunt him down and chop him up.

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