Ex. Order No. GO TO YOUR ROOM
WHEREAS, Israelis and Palestinians are acting like naughty little children, instead of being good little boys and girls; and
WHEREAS, it is evident neither Israelis nor Palestinians listen to their mothers, who have done everything for them —
NOW, THEREFORE, a state of momtial law is declared, effective immediately. Accordingly, it is ORDERED as follows:
1. Israeli D. Forces is directed to get their butt in here, right now.
2. Notwithstanding Hamas’s claim as to who started it, there shall be no more hitting.
3. Pursuant to Section 307.1 of Regulation C of the Federal Dad Commission, all provisions providing for the turning around of cars are declared fully effective, and shall be strictly enforced in the discretion of the Chair of the Commission — provided that he consults with this office prior to engaging in automotive-reversal maneuvers.
4. This office finds Israelis and Palestinians to be very disappointing.