Down and Out

Can you spot the missing detail?

1. Return home after drinking.

2. Commence oral sex.

3. Start hitting each other.

4. Call the police.

Sharp-eyed readers will have immediately noticed the gap between #2 and #3:

But moments later as Bowers and her spouse, Delou, engaged in the act, she began biting down hard enough that Delou Bowers asked her to stop, the report says. When she refused, Delou Bowers started punching Charris Bowers in the head and face until she finally let go.

And there you have it: She bit his johnson because she didn’t want to have sex. Thanks for playing!

Biting during oral sex results in battery charge [Daytona Beach News-Journal]

20 comments:

11:52 pm • Friday • December 26, 2008

Ladies, some advice. Just buy him a Fleshlight. When you aren’t in the mood, it does all the work for you.

And interestingly enough, if you film it and post it on Xtube, I will probably watch it.

12:43 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

I think there was a 2.25 – a girl doesn’t bite down unless homeboy says something totally obnoxious and offensive.

Their names confuse me. Are they klassy “French” names or “unique” names in the Daytona Beach area? I had to reread the blurb twice to figure out who was the boy or girl.

12:46 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

TJ for Dodger & Nabisco/
Randy “Big Unit” Johnson signs for a season with the Giants. I saw him pitch for the Diamondbacks this season against the Giants and he was a trip. I remember seeing him pitch for the Astros decades ago. If nothing else, he’ll make a trip to PacBell Park SBC Park AT&T Park Fuck it, the stadium on 2nd St & Embarcadero in SF a lot more fun next spring.

1:02 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

That’s Randy “Bird Killer” Johnson, right?

1:25 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

Love is a many-splendored thing.

1:29 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

@SanFranLefty: Do they still allow interesting people in baseball? Being interesting is strictly forbidden in football these days. Any quirks or signs of independant brain activity in a football player gets them labelled a “flake” and before you know it only the Raiders will have them. Actually, I am not up on football and I know its not just the raiders who take in the mutts these days, but I don’t know who it is that does these days.

Is “Big Unit” as interesting as Bill Lee, the only man to pitch in the World Series on acid?

1:47 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

@Promnight: Dallas has dibs on the felons, the most rapidly increasing “interesting” type of football player.

1:53 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

@Mistress Cynica: Thanks for responding to my post, here alone at 1 am, I needed to hear someone respond to know I am alive.

1:53 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

Ooops, 2 am. I gotta go to bed.

2:15 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

Sweet dreams!

10:57 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

@Mistress Cynica: No: you cannot have Plaxico. We want him back when/if he stops being silly. And gets out of the pokey.

11:05 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

@Promnight: Hey, don’t be disrespecting the recently departed Dock Ellis, who not only tossed a no hitter on acid, but also had the distinction of intentionally hitting Reggie Jackson and Pete Rose, and announcing his intention to hit the entire starting lineup of the 74 Reds. I think he got through four batters before he walked one and they yanked him.

@blogenfreude: The Stillers are happy to be rid of Plex. We’ve got Santonio Holmes who seems to have put his idiotic off-field behavior in check since his rookie year.

11:30 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

@SanFranLefty: Meh. He’s over the hill. A very tall hill, but he’s over it. He has a viable second career scaring the shit out of people who have read “Deliverance.”

11:45 am • Saturday • December 27, 2008

@Dodgerblue: He’s over-the-hill but he was fun as hell to watch and he deliberately hit someone.
@nabisco: Didn’t Dock hit all the Reds because of some asshole racist comment one of their players made? He later became a born-again “Just Say No” drug counselor for the California prisons.
P.S. “Santonio”?! WTF name is that? Is he Sherlock’s Latino cousin from San Antonio whose mom wanted to honor his place of birth?

12:57 pm • Saturday • December 27, 2008

@nabisco: I believe we beat you at home where Plax had only 3 receptions for 15 yards. Shouldn’t be a problem should teh Giants face you again – even without Plax.

1:04 pm • Saturday • December 27, 2008

@blogenfreude: Yeah, I was quiet after that one. Stillers had too many injuries to pull that game out. Mussing up pretty boy Eli in TB in February would be lotsa fun.

1:43 pm • Saturday • December 27, 2008

@nabisco: One would think you’d have learned not to fuck with the Manning Bros.

On another front – I am on the edge of my seat re: my Jets. Everything including an alignment of the planets needs to happen. Favre sounds like he’s given up – I’m even thinking of washing my Favre jersey (which I’ve kept stinky, for luck). When your season hinges on beating the Dolphins and the Patriots losing, it’s not a good situation.

8:56 pm • Saturday • December 27, 2008

Strangely enough, the Big Unit is not as crochety as he used to be and therefore, not as much fun. Maybe it’s just too hot for him to be much of an asshole.

1:16 am • Sunday • December 28, 2008

@Mistress Cynica:

What does one say to a Dallas Cowboy in a business suit?

ans: “Will he defendent please rise”

3:31 am • Sunday • December 28, 2008

@fupduk: Hey, hey, HEY F-YOU.

And now a days, with pretty boy Tony Romo and his selected girlfriend breeder blonde bitch, the Cowboys are nearly not as much fun.

@Jamie Sommers:
I love Arizona as much as the next Texan who drives through it going to visit grandma in SoCal, but I just don’t think baseball was created to be played in a place like Phoenix. And I am a fan of Tucson and Phoenix in the abstract, but come on, it’s too fucking hot to play a 5 hour game of any sport there. Unless it’s February.

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