Yes Sir, That’s Not My Baby
Sure, Johnny boffed the chick, but he swears her child is not the daughter of the son of a millworker. He stopped fucking the mother months before the birth.
But we just want to revive one of the great SNL bits, Ackroyd as Jimmy discussing the timeless Democratic tradition, “sexual performance in the White House”:
So far in my campaign, I have only fantisized. But now I actually look forward to some of the girls I’ve lusted after. Saucy vixens like Lainie Kazan, Shari Lewis, Phyllis Newman — actually, I’m not sure God ever forgave me for Phyllis Newman. But I want you to look at our Democratic figures — FDR, LBJ, JFK, Harry Truman — now, here were lusty, zesty men, seething with vital hormonal secretions. These were men of action. Doers. Democrats! As your president, I look forward to deeply satisfying each and every last one of you! God forgive us all! Thank you!
Barry, we’re looking at you. Phylicia Rashad ain’t getting any younger.