March of the Priapics
We don’t know whether they have rubbers in Heaven (can we segue or what?), but they’re required in equally inaccessible places on Earth. This week’s merry ribaldry comes from our penguin-poking pals at McMurdo Station, Antarctica, which has taken delivery on 16,488 condoms, or what they’re calling “a year’s supply”. We ran that through the CP Supercomputer between porn downloads, and it works out to a healthy 45 fpn (fucks per night) pace. We look forward to the new documentary series “Polecat Penthouse”, debuting next year on Animal Planet.
16,488 condoms ordered for Antarctic base [stuff.co.nz]
Bonus Rubber Blowout!
Somebody’s selling condoms with the faces of Unicorn and Psychogeezer on the packages. Each package features a moderately clever slogan, but it’s early, and we figure you can do better.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! TACO Tuesday. The demented methhead next door blinked. Delay on trade war albeit…
SANFRANLEFTY • TRUMP FINISHES CEASE FIRE AGREEMENT WITH THE AYATOLLAH ! ! ! CHAINSAW!!!!
NOJO • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! @Beggars Biscuit: Yup, still here, if enjoying a long slumber.
BEGGARS BISCUIT • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! The drapery not really covering his name is not a feature, it’s part of the operating system.…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Can't that dumb motherfucker get anything right? Now he's trying to Drill Baby Drill Greenland…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Ding fucking dong! The bitch is dayud!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Welp Speaking to reporters on Air Force One, President Trump said that “Cuba looks like it is…