Family Values
Congratulations go out to Track and Britta Palin, who have just welcomed their first child a scant three months into their marriage. Kyla Grace is described by proud grandmother Elizabeth Hanson as “beautiful.” We await word from the child’s more famous grandmother, Sarah Palin, who has yet to comment on the miraculous delivery of a healthy six-months-premature granddaughter. To our knowledge, aunt Bristol has also not yet chimed in with her thoughts. No doubt she’s too busy reminding America that premarital sex is a sin to comment on the good news.
(Via Andrew Sullivan, of course.)
Ab$tinence for thee, but not for me.
They develop in the womb so fast these days, don’t they?
@Serolf Divad: Vitamins. Plus moose juice.
which book do alaskans use to pick their childrens names? it figures a guy named after a scar on a junkies arm who bangs up a chick named after a water filter would come up with a more creative (or destructive) name than kyla grace. how bout clean jones palin? how far down the list was oxie pure palin?
@jwmcsame:
Apparently the Sears Catalog.
I expect the next Palin to be named Swiffer.
Abstinence for some; thick, sweet, juicy kahks for others. No one can explain it.
@ManchuCandidate: +1. “Swiffer, put down that shotgun and come and eat your pop-tart.”
@¡Andrew!: I suspect there’s a tie in with Jebus somewhere.
@jwmcsame:
The Oxyclean people must not have been willing to pay enough. ;)
If Footpath and Water Filter waited until she was three months along to get married, I am assuming it was because the lawyers needed time to negotiate the financial package she and her family are receiving in exchange for being tied matrimonially to the Palins.
Inquiring minds want to know: how much?
@karen marie has her eyes tight shut: While you’re investigating, wasn’t Footpath supposedly on the warpath in Iraqistan? Is this a Victory Baby?
@Nabisco: if junkie scar was off at the neo-crusades 9 months ago, then the daddy could only be one of two: Levi Johnston strikes again. Or finally after all the false predictions and anxious waiting……..the second emaculate conception. Jesus Christ Palin or in this case Jesse Christie Palin. Who’d a thought the second coming would be female? Does this mean sarah really was talking to God? What will Jesse Christie’s first miracle be? Maybe she’ll turn Obama into a Democrat.
@jwmcsame: I have a sneaking suspicion that this luv child was not the product of immaculate ejaculate.
I’m so proud of us all!
@Nabisco: Track returned home in September 2009. So no Victory Baby, at least on that premise.
@nojo: Levi coulda still been sneakin’ around. inabstinence knows no moral boundaries.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…