The Apocalypse? You’re Soaking in It!
Title: “Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever”
Author: Justin Bieber
Rank: 49
Blurb: “Justin tells the story of his amazing journey from small-town schoolboy to global superstar.”
Review: “There’s no way to accurately convey the inherent absurdity in reading a memoir written by someone who is only 16 years old. I’m reminded of this Friedrich Nietzsche quote: ‘Gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.'”
Customers Also Bought: “Justin Bieber 2011 12X12 Square Wall Calendar”, “Justin Bieber Silly Bandz 24-pack + Free Moonz & Starz Newest Tye Dye Necklace To Wear Your Justin Bieber Bandz On!!!”, “Justin Bieber: The Fever! (Paperback)”, “FAME: Justin Bieber”, “Justin Bieber (Get the Scoop)”, “Justin Bieber: The Unauthorized Biography”, “Justin Bieber Door Poster Print”, “Justin Bieber Life Size Cardboard Standup”, “Justin Bieber Singing Doll”, “I Love Justin Bieber – Lucite Keychain”, “Set of 8 Justin Bieber Pinback Buttons”, “The Justin Bieber Handbook – Everything you need to know about Justin Bieber”, “MRS. BIEBER Pinback Button”, “Justin Bieber Nintendo DSi Skin”, “Justin Bieber Purple Logo Necklace”, “Justin Bieber Bookmark”, “Justin Bieber Pink Rubber Watch”, “Hoda: How I Survived War Zones, Bad Hair, Cancer, and Kathie Lee”.
Footnote: David Cassidy is 60.
Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever [Amazon]
Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]
Sigh. Just another singer this Canada City Citizen has to apologize for.
OH MUZIK GAWDS!!! WASN’T CELINE AND BRYAN ENOUGH????
Fucking teen stars. How do they work?
@ManchuCandidate: “Blame Canada! Blame Canada! With all their beady little eyes and flapping heads so full of lies!”
Does this kid have any talent?
@Dodgerblue: When he slows down, he does.
Oh oh: Stillerz going up against Colt McCoy. My allegiance remains solidly with the ‘burgh, but I hope that young Texan fares better than Bernie Kosar Trent Dilfer Ty Ditmar Jake Delhomme Seneca Wallace Brady Quinn.
Heh – that was fun.
Why does he style his hair by shoving his head into a flushing toilet?
@Nabisco: U of T alum SFL will agree after she finishes playing soccer in the rain/mist/mud.
WWDTM had a bit yesterday about a guy in Florida whose life has been ruined by Justin Bieber.
@Nabisco: Missed watching the Stillers beat young Colt. How did crazy Jeebus lover Tim Tebow do this week?
Very sad re: the paralyzed Rutgers player – don’t duck your head down!
@Dodgerblue: No mud because it was a turf field, but plenty of rain.
T minus one hour to Game 2 of the Giants and the Phillies.
@Benedick: You did that perfectly.
Instead of the mildly clever remark I was planning, let’s just note the Not-MSNBC ad I carelessly invoked:
Do you have what it takes to be Justin Bieber’s girlfriend?
Try the Love Compatibility Calculator and find out!
The Management apologizes for its lack of editorial judgment. Mind Bleach will be available at the door.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…