Teflon Teabag for Best Wingnut

Funny story: As soon as the award categories were announced, we got calls from reps for Bobby Jindal and Michael Steele, insisting they be named Teabag finalists. But they’re not really wingnuts, we explained. No matter, said the reps — they want to be seen as wingnuts. Fine, we said. Soon as the funds show up in our account, they’re in.

But there’s a difference between monitoring a volcano and being one. Just ask Chuck Norris, who will tell you that the only thing between the Virgin Mary and an abortion was a blessed lack of socialized medicine two millennia ago. Or Orly Taitz, for whom not only is the trial out of order, but the judge, the appellate court, and the entire judicial system.

And the winner is…

Orly Taitz. We’re gonna miss her when she’s gone.

Next hour: Paisley Pro-Am for Best Sex Scandal

The 2009 Stinque Awards

11 comments:

1:08 pm • Monday • December 28, 2009

Give Orly a layer of bright orange and slightly more wrinkles, she reminds me of Magda from “There’s Something About Mary.”

Why do you crazy up (crazy up) Orly Taintz, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you’re never right, baby
When you say you are (say you are) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin’
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Orly Taintz, please sue again!

“He was born in X”, you told me time and again
But you’re late, I wait around and then
I went to the court, I can’t take any more
It’s not you, you let me down again
(Hey, hey, hey!) Orly, Orly, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) A real birf certificate please
(Hey, hey, hey!) I’ll be home
I’ll be beside the phone waiting for you
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo

Why do you crazy up (crazy up) Orly Taintz, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you’re never right, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin’
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Orly Taintz, please sue again!

1:16 pm • Monday • December 28, 2009

@ManchuCandidate: Outstanding, sir. Out-fucking-standing.

1:31 pm • Monday • December 28, 2009

She’d like to thank all the little people in her head.

1:52 pm • Monday • December 28, 2009

Orly who?

1:14 pm • Wednesday • December 30, 2009
2:37 pm • Wednesday • December 30, 2009

@nojo: Google News Alert for “Stinque Award” or did you stumble upon that randomly? Also, congratulations, ManchuCandidate!

2:44 pm • Wednesday • December 30, 2009

@ManchuCandidate: Awesome! Perhaps you should explain the last name spelling was intentional.

2:47 pm • Wednesday • December 30, 2009

@mellbell: The WordPress admin “Dashboard” automatically checks for incoming links. I think it polls Google under the hood.

4:43 pm • Wednesday • December 30, 2009

@ManchuCandidate:
i tip my hat to you sir…your best so far!
actually heard it on my oldies station today and sang your version, it was so great! i had just come from putting flowers on sergio’s and cody’s graves (bernie’s ashes are on my dressing table) and through tears, i started laughing my ass off.
BRAVO !!!

7:13 pm • Wednesday • December 30, 2009

@nojo:
First I’d like to thank the academy…

@all thanks

@SanFranLefty:
It was semi intentional. I have it stuck in my head that her last name is Taintz, not Taitz.

@baked:
Glad to help.

8:14 pm • Wednesday • December 30, 2009

@ManchuCandidate: They like you! They really like you!

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