https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGxoui3IFS0

We’ve been earning a living on Macs for twenty years, but we don’t have any iconic Steve Jobs or Apple stories to share. From System 6 to Lion, from a Mac LC to a MacBook Pro, from the iPod to the iPad we’re writing this with, Apple gadgets have simply been a happy part of our life.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsLuYnEyFLw

Our guest columnist claims that our guest videographer, who advocates taking down the New York Stock Exchange website on what happens to be Columbus Day, is full of shit.

Citizens of the world

We are Anonymous! Recently something very disturbing has come to our attention. You must take all notices and information claiming to be ‘Anonymous’ with a grain of salt. Consider EVERYTHING.

Operation Invade Wall Street is bullshit! It is a fake planted operation by law enforcement and cyber crime agencies in order to get you to undermine the Occupy Wall Street movement. It proposes you use depreciated tools that have known flaws such as LOIC.

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Six blades: 25:1

Beats as it sweeps as it cleans as it drops calls: 60:1

Automatically backs up your crotch shots: 1:100

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By chance — we think — the display frame for this exercise-gadget video is a giant 300 next to a ripped torso. Or maybe that’s the point.

[via Sully]

Our guest columnists are Mark Graham, Taylor Shelton, Matthew Zook and Monica Stephens, of the Oxford Internet Institute.

Using a keyword search for “zombies”, the following map visualizes the absolute concentrations of references within the Google Maps database. The map reveals two important spatial patterns. First, much of the world lacks any content mentioning “zombies” whatsoever. Second, and related, the highest concentrations of zombies in the Geoweb are located in the Anglophone world, especially in large. The results either provide a rough proxy for the amount of English-language content indexed over our planet, or offer an early warning into the geographies of the impending zombie apocalypse.

Mapping Zombies [Oxford Internet Institute, via Nerdist]

Glenn Greenwald is pissed that we’re not paying more attention to the World’s Lamest Flash Mob:

It’s unsurprising that establishment media outlets have been condescending, dismissive and scornful of the ongoing protests on Wall Street. Any entity that declares itself an adversary of prevailing institutional power is going to be viewed with hostility by establishment-serving institutions and their loyalists…

Nor is it surprising that much of the most vocal criticisms of the Wall Street protests has come from some self-identified progressives, who one might think would be instinctively sympathetic to the substantive message of the protesters.

Er… substantive message?

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At 6 pm PT, Rachel kindly informed us that Chris Christie was embarking upon a Big Speech that would — well, might — blow the lid off the 2012 race for the most mind-blowing GOP collapse since Goldwater. (Yes, we’re sticking with that line. Yoda Pez is out of town, and unable to restrain us.) By 6:55 pm, our hopes were cruelly dashed.

But not before we had everything ready to launch. And since the rest of the news sucks — have the democratic Wall Street protesters democratically decided on a democratic response to democratically being maced? — we’re going to dwell in an alternate universe where Christie did jump in, and the next week would be filled with as many Jabba the Hutt images as we could muster.