Donald Trump Has Not Said Anything Extraordinarily Awful In The Past Few Days, So Let’s Talk About Cats
When you headline your article “Yes, You Can Train Your Cat”, you have our attention. Not because we’re seeking ways to train cats, and not that we dispute that it’s possible to undermine a cat’s very nature by treating it like a common dog, but that it’s an abomination against Creation itself to even consider the idea.
Not unlike Donald Trump’s abomination suggesting that the nice Black citizens of Pennsylvania may stuff ballot boxes, but that’s a pretty pro forma abomination coming from him, so we’ll ignore it.
You’ll understand that we fully expect to hate-read a cat-training article, ready to pounce on the first deviation from cat orthodoxy and deliver its bloody carcass as a gift to you, Our Adoring Reader, fully expecting your fulsome approval of our innate skill.
Just like we might hunt down Donald Trump’s variations on sarcasm and leave you to contemplate the mess of words we dump on your carpet, which could leave a stain of nuclear armageddon if you don’t clean it up quickly.
But much to our pleasant surprise, the article’s cat-training suggestions are quite reasonable, such as how to familiarize a cat with a carrier, avoiding a scene we’re all too familiar with, in which at the very sight of the container, a cat magically disappears into another dimension, never to be seen again.
Much like GOP electoral votes have been rapidly disappearing into the mysterious Blue Zone, a place where Donald Trump saying that American civilians should be tried by military courts seems not to produce the expected effect among his audience.
We’re happy to have brought you this brief distraction from the worrisome events of the day. Please come back next week for useful tips on delousing your relatives.
Yes, You Can Train Your Cat [WSJ]
hey nojo, i just finished this book called “the goddess of small victories” that is historical fiction about Kurt Godel and his wife, and circle of acquaintances including your boy Ludwig. I think you might like it.
@Dodgerblue: Not sure I can handle historical fiction. Then again, I long ago gave up trying to plow through “Godel, Escher, Bach”.
Lord Vader is too busy watching Catwoman – he lost interest after about 10 minutes. I am not far behind …
https://www.instagram.com/p/BJD-qNuhQry/?taken-by=steve_reiness
@nojo: The author takes a big dump on Edward Teller, who was a guest lectuter at my freshmam chemistry class. I switched majors.
@nojo: Wait, you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
(When I clicked the linque, it told me I needed to be a subscriber).
@SanFranLefty: Oops. Got it from the Apple News app. Don’t know if that offers a paywall-free URL.
For connoisseurs of karma and schadenfreude, this is Christmas in August (if true):
Flood Destroys Home Of Hate Group Leader Who Claims God Sends Natural Disasters To Punish Gays
Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, an organization labeled an anti-LGBT hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center, was left homeless by the destructive flooding that has ravaged southern Louisiana this week, killing 11 people and destroying an estimated 40,000 homes.
Perkins, who has claimed that God uses natural disasters such as hurricanes and flooding to punish people for sinning (in particular homosexuals and their supporters), had his own home destroyed by the Lord Almighty. The hate group leader says he was forced to escape his destroyed home by canoe.
@nojo: Taking the high road only makes it easier for amoral lowlifes to punch you in the nutz.
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Welp Speaking to reporters on Air Force One, President Trump said that “Cuba looks like it is…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 My mood courtesy of Rhiannon Giddens: https://youtu.be/M7PvWw97Cq0
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 A man who has his family and lackeys deeply embedded in every facet of our government is trying to…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 THIS IS NOT OKAY! WE’VE RUN THESE WAR GAMES FOR **YEARS**. SPOILER ALERT: A TON OF PEOPLE DIE.…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! WHAT. THE FUCK?!!?!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @ManchuCandidate: Summer definitely disappeared.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 BTW, has your favorite fundies gone to Ratpure?