The 2012 San Diego Fireworks Implosion as Metaphor for a Trump-Gingrich Ticket
Look, we know we’re tempting Fate here, that Donald Trump’s election may be the spark that launches our planet into Your Favorite Cinematic Dystopian Hellscape, that the only acceptable attitudes among Responsible Adults are scorn and dismay…
But: We can’t help it. The merest rumor that Trump might choose Newt Gingrich for veep fills us with the kind of joy that’s only attainable by driving a convertible at full speed off a scenic cliff, and freezing the frame before the part that ruins the moment.
Don’t judge us. You would be just as eager to impress your friends by reciting all the Ex-Wives’ names. And we know you’re already thinking about a gag involving Trump plastering his name on Newt’s moonbase.
We grant that this reveals a flaw in our judgment, that despite our well-earned cynicism, we simply can’t imagine that America would elect a Trump-Gingrich ticket, and so we are at liberty to take great amusement at the spectacle.
But if there is truly no hope, if we are inevitably doomed to the Dawn of Idiocracy on January 20, 2017, then for God’s sake, let’s go out in style.
You really miss California, don’t you?
@blogenfreude: Been there, done that. Plus, Denver has, like, y’know, water.
@nojo: true – and fewer wildfires, mudslides, earthquakes, droughts … maybe you have something.
That ticket would be utterly hilarious.
Newt would actually be the likeable one of the two. Likeable being relative (ie: like choosing which is more popular between VX and GB nerve gas–the correct answer is neither.)
“Trump And the Moon Man”
“Two Morally Bankrupt Blowhard Cowards”
“The Odd Couple”
It might bring Princess Sparklepony out of retirement to cover Callista!
BURR DEMING • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Thank you for this, nojo. He was a wonderful talent and, by all accounts, a wonderful human…
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh, and there’s a Catholic church across the street. Maybe I can do a little dance for them!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Now that I’m in NYC, plenty of pigeons to poison in his honor.
NOJO • All the Vice President's Men 2025 update: Nothing happened. And here we are!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Only the sane parts... like the West coast, New England (minus the Bruins and…
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.