The 2012 San Diego Fireworks Implosion as Metaphor for a Trump-Gingrich Ticket
Look, we know we’re tempting Fate here, that Donald Trump’s election may be the spark that launches our planet into Your Favorite Cinematic Dystopian Hellscape, that the only acceptable attitudes among Responsible Adults are scorn and dismay…
But: We can’t help it. The merest rumor that Trump might choose Newt Gingrich for veep fills us with the kind of joy that’s only attainable by driving a convertible at full speed off a scenic cliff, and freezing the frame before the part that ruins the moment.
Don’t judge us. You would be just as eager to impress your friends by reciting all the Ex-Wives’ names. And we know you’re already thinking about a gag involving Trump plastering his name on Newt’s moonbase.
We grant that this reveals a flaw in our judgment, that despite our well-earned cynicism, we simply can’t imagine that America would elect a Trump-Gingrich ticket, and so we are at liberty to take great amusement at the spectacle.
But if there is truly no hope, if we are inevitably doomed to the Dawn of Idiocracy on January 20, 2017, then for God’s sake, let’s go out in style.
You really miss California, don’t you?
@blogenfreude: Been there, done that. Plus, Denver has, like, y’know, water.
@nojo: true – and fewer wildfires, mudslides, earthquakes, droughts … maybe you have something.
That ticket would be utterly hilarious.
Newt would actually be the likeable one of the two. Likeable being relative (ie: like choosing which is more popular between VX and GB nerve gas–the correct answer is neither.)
“Trump And the Moon Man”
“Two Morally Bankrupt Blowhard Cowards”
“The Odd Couple”
It might bring Princess Sparklepony out of retirement to cover Callista!
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: No, but my government was.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Were you kidnapped?
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: I’ve spent the past five weeks looking like Astronaut Dave going through the…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! NOJO - HOW COME WE'RE NOT COVERING KRASNOV?
NOJO • The Reckoning Four years later: Uhhh, how’d that work out?
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread @nojo: yeah. I had a feeling you’d say that.
NOJO • Hanging by a Thread @JNOV: Haven’t touched a thing — checked it the other day, worked from here. But that’s my…
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread Oh! My edits worked! Praise nojo!