By His Birks Ye Shall Know Him

I am trying to function at work while my bifocals are in the shop. Everything up close is a blur, worse with old glasses.

@redmanlaw: “In the shop” makes me think they’re in for their 5000 mile oil change. It’s kind of a great image.

I’d like a Newcastle and some fries, please.

@redmanlaw: Everything up close is a blur

That would include the panorama view.

After 5000 lineal miles of reading.

I have a two-year warranty on the “scratch free” lenses. I found ways to scratch them all to hell, once by not using the cloth they gave me with the glasses.

@nojo: OMG! Is that a dead donkey????

@redmanlaw: Certainly looks like an ass from here.

Word to the wise: Don’t look at porn in public places. Near as I can figure, I’m checking email with a browser window hiding behind it. And clearly not paying attention to somebody taking pictures with a Google pan cam.

@nojo: My wife is in Google Street View of our street, unloading groceries from her car.

@Dodgerblue: Some time back, somebody’s streetview car caught me smoking outside Twiggs. Don’t know whether it was Google’s, but I’ve been occasionally checking ever since. Thus today’s discovery.

@nojo: A female coworker reports sitting next to a guy on the bus in Santa Monica, wherein the guy was looking at gay porn on his iPhone.

Whoa — that’s the old MacBook Pro, with the silver bezel. The panorama can’t be later than Fall 2011.

@Dodgerblue: iSpooge.

Pan down, and there’s the tripod…

Seven setups total, from outside the door to the back of the room. And I’m completely oblivious to what’s going on around me. Which, as my friends will tell you, is par for the course.

@nojo: OMGOMGOMG! You’re internet famous now.

@nojo: One of my favorite memories from undergrad was of slaving away on my senior thesis in the computer lab while the girl next to me was looking at the gnarliest gigantic black cocks ever blown on screen. And this was in the late 90s when it took like 7 minutes for a damn webpage to load. She was having a helluva better time than I was!

@¡Andrew!: At least they were all in one piece. Back in the day, we had to assemble Usenet porn from a dozen separate posts.

@nojo: “Captain Janeway, you will be mine!”

@¡Andrew!: I remember my jaw dropping when I discovered that Picard was a sex symbol. The Internet amazed long before the Web.

Nice to see that there are still places other than Starbucks to get a cup.

@blogenfreude: I couldn’t decide if the only posted review, which just complained about chipped paint, was hilarious, pathetic, or both. Go to Starbucks, poser. I prefer my coffee houses authentic, independent, and somewhat shabby.

@nojo: @Dodgerblue: @¡Andrew!: Or do it at the Brooklyn Public Library, where no one will be the wiser.

Wait, when did Google start doing street view inside public establishments?

@Dodgerblue: A former coworker was once trapped by the window on BART as the guy sitting next to her flipped through a Japanese magazine of kiddy porn.

@SanFranLefty: Indoor Street View has been around for awhile, but this is the first time I’ve actually checked it out.

@Mistress Cynica: I prefer my coffee houses authentic, independent, and somewhat shabby.

It’s charming until the toilet starts backing up.

@SanFranLefty: Ugh.

@mellbell: We have porn screens at the Santa Monica Public Library.

@nojo: In Santa Monica, the problem is getting the homeless guys out of the bathroom.

@Dodgerblue: We’ve had one of those, but that’s more likely at the beachfrontish PB Remote Office, which I haven’t visited in a few years.

@Mistress Cynica: Come to think of it, Silent Creative Partner looked into an apartment above the joint a few years back, but it was too, um, charming for even a Starving Artist.

OMG I just found out the Pandora has a channel dedicated to Clifford Brown and Max Roach. Work productivity about to nosedive.

@mellbell: @Dodgerblue: The main SF public library used to (and still may) have a special, secluded porn computer in the rare book room, since no one else went there anyway.

/Australian propaganda/

If anyone else follows Australian politics (and who doesn’t, hmmm?), this Kevin Rudd Propaganda Film from 2007 is one of the most brilliant works ever committed to the U-Tubes.

@Mistress Cynica: What did Martina say about this place on Yelp?