Fred Karger Gets Some.

Fred Karger, quixotic gay Republican presidential challenger, recently visited Utah to try to convince local GOPers not to be such complete assholes. In the course of his outreach he handed out frisbees and other gay accoutrements.

This did not sit well with at least one wife who was not about to let her husband find out whether he preferred to pitch or catch.

Nanette Billings, irate wife of Dan, instantly figured out what has baffled the rest of the country since Mr. Karger threw launched his campaign: why was he running? Nanette told local news teams it was all about getting the candidate laid.

Reached on the campaign trail, Brad, personal trainer and head of Mr. Karger’s Mormon outreach, denied that the candidate was in Utah only to tap some ass, and even if he was it wouldn’t be Mr. Billings’s.

35 comments:

6:42 pm • Sunday • June 17, 2012

The best part of that story is counting the number of misspellings and grammar mistakes in the email that Mrs. Billings sent to Karger.

Meanwhile, speaking of teh gheyz are everywhere — Apple adds gay emojis to the iPhone.

6:56 pm • Sunday • June 17, 2012

I don’t appreciate people screaming “USA! USA!” when Graeme McDowell tees off. Yeah, yeah. Fuyrk seems to have lost his “Dumbass Sunglasses” sponsor (or maybe it’s the fog), but c’mon. Bad form. I don’t hear them screaming that when Lee Westwood is up. Anyway, I’m rooting for that chubby kid.

6:57 pm • Sunday • June 17, 2012

And I’m missing Phish, BTW. :/

7:01 pm • Sunday • June 17, 2012

Does “conseritave” mean “sterile”?

8:12 pm • Sunday • June 17, 2012

TJ/ Fucking Shurruff Schmo arrests a SIX-YEAR-OLD.

8:49 pm • Monday • June 18, 2012

Lick my balls‽

I love Googles

9:04 pm • Monday • June 18, 2012

@I’m passing for white: I was trying to riff on Serolf’s Classics post, decided to research Latin Cursing.

9:06 pm • Monday • June 18, 2012

@nojo: Yah. I commented on the wrong post. But I thought you knew how to curse in Latin. I guess the spaces should have tipped me off.

9:10 pm • Monday • June 18, 2012

@I’m passing for white: Completely clueless. But one of my favorite West Wing scenes is Martin Sheen cursing God in a church, in God’s language.

Oh, you didn’t know God speaks Latin? Aramaic is for sissies.

9:11 pm • Monday • June 18, 2012

@nojo: Koine Greek, dude.

9:14 pm • Monday • June 18, 2012

@nojo: Hey. How much will it fuck up my Birks if I get them resoled? They’re flappping.

9:17 pm • Monday • June 18, 2012

Never mind. It’s cheaper to buy a new pair.

10:40 pm • Monday • June 18, 2012

@I’m passing for white: It is? I finally bought two new pairs last year, after the straps on my old Birks finally gave out.

My two pairs of thirty-year-old Birks. Which had been resoled, relined, recorked and reheeled so much, the straps were long since the only remaining item of Original Equipment.

Repairs are much cheaper than originals, in my experience. But maybe that’s just Arizonas.

10:50 pm • Monday • June 18, 2012

Oh dear God. Has it come to this? We repair our Birks? To go with our darned socks?

6:21 am • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@nojo: Mine aren’t leather, but I found a place that will recork and resole for $60 including postage both ways. A new pair would cost ~$80. But I’ll miss how I’ve broken them in.

6:23 am • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@Benedick: No one darns socks anymore. Okay. That’s not true.

6:25 am • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@nojo: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wawa is fucking awesome, okay?

1:39 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@I’m passing for white: Yes! Thanks to The Meta Text™ for bringing up a college memory!

2:36 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@matador1015: EXACTLY! Where did that Stinque blub come from anyway? Nojo knows nothing about the wonder that is Wawa and RedRoof, PA. Nuthin’!

3:10 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

Wawa–The perfect place to shoplift grab a late-night snack.

4:08 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@JNOV: @matador1015: If it’s not Baba Wawa, I ain’t playing.

5:46 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

I remember the first time I was invited to go to the Wawa. It was in Princeton. Happy times.

5:47 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

Buying condoms at the Wawa — don’t do it.

6:02 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@Benedick: OK, we now have one degree of separation, thanks to the Princeton Wawa.

(BTW, Mitt was in a Wawa the other day, apparently marveling at the touch-screen thingie. Turns out it was clever editing by MSNBC. No word on how many shoplifters were also in the store.)

6:32 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

Cousin with the bump on the head [CwtBotH]: Did Viagra go generic yet?

Me: I’ll check…looks like only in South Korea? Hmmm…June 1st. Lemme call the pharmacy.

Me calling pharmacy: Did Viagra go generic June 1st?

Overworked and Underpaid Pharmacy Tech [OaUPT]: No.

Me: Do you know when the patent expires in the US?

OaUPT: No. I just know not yet.

Me: Thanks.

Me to CwtBotH: Not generic yet.

CwtBotH: Well, I don’t want it anyway. See how much Cialis costs. That’s good stuff. It builds up and…

Me: It probably costs about the same–around $600/month. You’ll need a new prescription, and…

CwtBotH: I see [primary care dr.] next week, so I’ll get one.

Me: You balked at the cost to see a psychiatrist, and it’s a lot less than getting boner pills.

CwtBotH: I don’t care. I need a hard on, not a shrink.

6:35 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@matador1015: Does he know how much a loaf of bread costs let alone how to work the touch screen?

6:44 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@JNOV: Wawa touching story.

@matador1015: Wawa. When 7-11 just won’t do.

6:47 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@matador1015 and Benedick: Princeton Bohos allow a Wawa? Must be on the outskirts of town. Maybe they get a pass because they sell coffee.

@Benedick: I’m losing my mind here.

6:53 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@JNOV: It’s just south of campus by the Dinky.

7:28 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@matador1015: Don’t put your Dinky in a Vajayjay at the Wawa.

9:15 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@nojo: But you can put your Dinky in a Vajajay at the Wawa if you shoplift purchase a Jimmy Hat.

ADD: Ah. This is the one I remember.

9:27 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@matador1015: “Takes Reservations: No”

10:59 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012

@matador1015: It IS by the Dinky. Also right behind the McCarter stage door.

The Dinky sucks.

11:04 pm • Tuesday • June 19, 2012
9:54 am • Wednesday • June 20, 2012

@nojo: Not playing, huh? Just read new blurb. As in the words of the august ‘Catt, “Take your pills!”

Add a comment