Fred Karger Gets Some.

Fred Karger, quixotic gay Republican presidential challenger, recently visited Utah to try to convince local GOPers not to be such complete assholes. In the course of his outreach he handed out frisbees and other gay accoutrements.

This did not sit well with at least one wife who was not about to let her husband find out whether he preferred to pitch or catch.

Nanette Billings, irate wife of Dan, instantly figured out what has baffled the rest of the country since Mr. Karger threw launched his campaign: why was he running? Nanette told local news teams it was all about getting the candidate laid.

Reached on the campaign trail, Brad, personal trainer and head of Mr. Karger’s Mormon outreach, denied that the candidate was in Utah only to tap some ass, and even if he was it wouldn’t be Mr. Billings’s.


The best part of that story is counting the number of misspellings and grammar mistakes in the email that Mrs. Billings sent to Karger.

Meanwhile, speaking of teh gheyz are everywhere — Apple adds gay emojis to the iPhone.

I don’t appreciate people screaming “USA! USA!” when Graeme McDowell tees off. Yeah, yeah. Fuyrk seems to have lost his “Dumbass Sunglasses” sponsor (or maybe it’s the fog), but c’mon. Bad form. I don’t hear them screaming that when Lee Westwood is up. Anyway, I’m rooting for that chubby kid.

Does “conseritave” mean “sterile”?

@I’m passing for white: I was trying to riff on Serolf’s Classics post, decided to research Latin Cursing.

@nojo: Yah. I commented on the wrong post. But I thought you knew how to curse in Latin. I guess the spaces should have tipped me off.

@I’m passing for white: Completely clueless. But one of my favorite West Wing scenes is Martin Sheen cursing God in a church, in God’s language.

Oh, you didn’t know God speaks Latin? Aramaic is for sissies.

@nojo: Hey. How much will it fuck up my Birks if I get them resoled? They’re flappping.

Never mind. It’s cheaper to buy a new pair.

@I’m passing for white: It is? I finally bought two new pairs last year, after the straps on my old Birks finally gave out.

My two pairs of thirty-year-old Birks. Which had been resoled, relined, recorked and reheeled so much, the straps were long since the only remaining item of Original Equipment.

Repairs are much cheaper than originals, in my experience. But maybe that’s just Arizonas.

Oh dear God. Has it come to this? We repair our Birks? To go with our darned socks?

@nojo: Mine aren’t leather, but I found a place that will recork and resole for $60 including postage both ways. A new pair would cost ~$80. But I’ll miss how I’ve broken them in.

@Benedick: No one darns socks anymore. Okay. That’s not true.

@nojo: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wawa is fucking awesome, okay?

@I’m passing for white: Yes! Thanks to The Meta Text™ for bringing up a college memory!

@matador1015: EXACTLY! Where did that Stinque blub come from anyway? Nojo knows nothing about the wonder that is Wawa and RedRoof, PA. Nuthin’!

Wawa–The perfect place to shoplift grab a late-night snack.

@JNOV: @matador1015: If it’s not Baba Wawa, I ain’t playing.

I remember the first time I was invited to go to the Wawa. It was in Princeton. Happy times.

Buying condoms at the Wawa — don’t do it.

@Benedick: OK, we now have one degree of separation, thanks to the Princeton Wawa.

(BTW, Mitt was in a Wawa the other day, apparently marveling at the touch-screen thingie. Turns out it was clever editing by MSNBC. No word on how many shoplifters were also in the store.)

Cousin with the bump on the head [CwtBotH]: Did Viagra go generic yet?

Me: I’ll check…looks like only in South Korea? Hmmm…June 1st. Lemme call the pharmacy.

Me calling pharmacy: Did Viagra go generic June 1st?

Overworked and Underpaid Pharmacy Tech [OaUPT]: No.

Me: Do you know when the patent expires in the US?

OaUPT: No. I just know not yet.

Me: Thanks.

Me to CwtBotH: Not generic yet.

CwtBotH: Well, I don’t want it anyway. See how much Cialis costs. That’s good stuff. It builds up and…

Me: It probably costs about the same–around $600/month. You’ll need a new prescription, and…

CwtBotH: I see [primary care dr.] next week, so I’ll get one.

Me: You balked at the cost to see a psychiatrist, and it’s a lot less than getting boner pills.

CwtBotH: I don’t care. I need a hard on, not a shrink.

@matador1015: Does he know how much a loaf of bread costs let alone how to work the touch screen?

@JNOV: Wawa touching story.

@matador1015: Wawa. When 7-11 just won’t do.

@matador1015 and Benedick: Princeton Bohos allow a Wawa? Must be on the outskirts of town. Maybe they get a pass because they sell coffee.

@Benedick: I’m losing my mind here.

@matador1015: Don’t put your Dinky in a Vajayjay at the Wawa.

@nojo: But you can put your Dinky in a Vajajay at the Wawa if you shoplift purchase a Jimmy Hat.

ADD: Ah. This is the one I remember.

@matador1015: It IS by the Dinky. Also right behind the McCarter stage door.

The Dinky sucks.

@nojo: Not playing, huh? Just read new blurb. As in the words of the august ‘Catt, “Take your pills!”

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