An Apology to My Rapidly Deserting Advertisers

Our guest columnist is a thrice-divorced drug-addled fat fuck.
For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.
I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress. I personally do not agree that American citizens should pay for these social activities. What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit? In my monologue, I posited that it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone’s bedroom nor do I think it is a topic that should reach a Presidential level.
My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.
A Statement from Rush [Rush Limbaugh Show, Saturday]
Rush Limbaugh’s Advertisers Facing Social Media Firestorm [ThinkProgress, Friday]
Wait … what? If he’s in charge of the Two Minute Hate, who will be in charge of the Two Minute Hate now that he’s apologized?
Of course, providing birth control for those that want/need it really wasn’t an issue till an organization that covered up pedos in their ranks for decades made a big stink about it and the army of dingleberry brained wingnuts piled on thinking it would be easy points against the “Nearer.”
Bams couldn’t have set this up any better if he wanted to.
Meanwhile, Mittens wins the Washington state caucuses, which nobody cared about unless Santorum won.
Sentence #3:
” I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.”
Sentence #6:
“What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? “
Look in the mirror you fucking douchebag. First you very openly and explicitly attack the young woman on a very personal level, directing a series of vicious and vulgar slurs at her. Then you deny that you ever meant to attack her personally. So tell me, Rush, you dickweed: What happened to personal responsibility? What happened to accountability? You’re certainly doing your damndest to evade it in this satetment.
Folks, if that slimy, self-serving statement is taken as an apology by anyone who isn’t a right-wing shill, then that person can kiss my ass also.
@Serolf Divad:
To be honest, it’s not like he’s a man or anything. I would be stunned if he was sincere and took responsibility like a man.
Well, golly! Ken Layne has sold Wonkette! Everybody head to Times Square and fuck the bejeezus out of each other!
@nojo:
The new editor brings the ‘ette back in Wonkette.
… In my monologue, I posited that it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone’s bedroom… There goes the republican platform.
@blogenfreude: His lawyer just saw all the zeroes on the defamation lawsuit.
Ruck Fush. May he soon join Breitbart in oblivion.
@Benedick beat me to it.
it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone’s bedroom
Really? Really!?
@IanJ: I feels pretty.
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