I’m Mitt Romney, and I Haven’t Been Married Three Times and Switched Religions



Getting close to playing the Scarlet Whore of Rome angle.

“Newt’s a Catholic??? Ah though he was a Christian!

Newt admits there’s a higher authority than himself?

@Dodgerblue: In a theoretical or platonic sense, yes. He’s never actually run across one IRL.

@redmanlaw: It’s fairly recent, too. Sometime during the game of mistress/wife whack-a-mole, sNoot converted!

Pope Pompous Pious XXX must’ve been quite surprised by his newest, solemn, 60-something acolyte.

@¡Andrew!: Newt was turned on by the pope’s nazi credentials and could not wait to join the cult.

@¡Andrew!: You just know the Church muckety-mucks look at Newt and fellow convert Tony Blair and say, “With friends like these…”

@¡Andrew!: That shit is not easy to do, either. You have several months of classes in the RICA program (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults, not affluent Latina women) and someone has to sponsor your adult baptism, etc. I’d complete my sacraments (First Holy Communion and confirmation, I think) if I could just pay someone off instead of going through the time suck. Maybe after I win the Powerball tonight. I’d feel weird about taking communion, though. Also, some dude announced at Mass last week that it’s “Pro Life Month” in the church. Keep it up and I’ll make sure it’s “Pay Taxes Month” in April.

The only constant is change, n’est ce pas? Mitt? Specifically: Mitt Romney’s ideological chameleon act.

@redmanlaw: I dated a Catholic girl* in college, and would go with her and her family to mass once a year. At first I was petrified – will I be forced to kneel? Take communion? How much do they expect in the collection plate?

Fortunately, her dad always went to mass but stood at the back of the church, standing back against the wall, with respect but disinterest. I knew they liked me when he invited me to hang with him.

*Zappa was right.

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