Every Other Natalie Wood Joke We Could Find
Why didn’t Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat?
She wanted to wash up on shore.
What did Princess Grace have that Natalie Wood could have used?
A good stroke.
What did Robert Wagner say to Natalie Wood the night she died?
“Okay honey, you can have a drink, but don’t go overboard!”
You wouldn’t get drunk and jump off a boat, would you?
Natalie Would.
What’s her middle name?
Drift.
Sheriff reopens case of actress Natalie Wood’s mysterious death [LAT]
Surely the statute of limitations has long since expired? This is just too bad for all sorts of reasons.
So Robert Wagner and Christopher Walken get into a heated argument over…her career? They were such gentlemen.
@Benedick: No limitations on — dramatic pause — murder.
Apparently, Wood got into a heated argument with herself, punched herself repeatedly in the face and threw herself overboard.
Sheriff now says Robert Wagner is not a suspect. Whew. Who else could do those reverse-mortgage commercials?
@FlyingChainSaw: She was always very talented, that one.
@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: She was a lovely woman as well as talented. So she liked a drink. Big deal.
@nojo: It Took a Thief.
@redmanlaw: It was years before I knew the rest of that phrase.
@nojo: I’m calling it right now. It’s the captain. He let his guard down and said something incriminating while being interviewed for that book.
Was a cowbell the weapon?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Gawd, you keep missing the target!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! TACO Tuesday. The demented methhead next door blinked. Delay on trade war albeit…
SANFRANLEFTY • TRUMP FINISHES CEASE FIRE AGREEMENT WITH THE AYATOLLAH ! ! ! CHAINSAW!!!!
NOJO • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! @Beggars Biscuit: Yup, still here, if enjoying a long slumber.
BEGGARS BISCUIT • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! The drapery not really covering his name is not a feature, it’s part of the operating system.…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Can't that dumb motherfucker get anything right? Now he's trying to Drill Baby Drill Greenland…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Ding fucking dong! The bitch is dayud!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)