Every Other Natalie Wood Joke We Could Find
Why didn’t Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat?
She wanted to wash up on shore.
What did Princess Grace have that Natalie Wood could have used?
A good stroke.
What did Robert Wagner say to Natalie Wood the night she died?
“Okay honey, you can have a drink, but don’t go overboard!”
You wouldn’t get drunk and jump off a boat, would you?
Natalie Would.
What’s her middle name?
Drift.
Sheriff reopens case of actress Natalie Wood’s mysterious death [LAT]
Surely the statute of limitations has long since expired? This is just too bad for all sorts of reasons.
So Robert Wagner and Christopher Walken get into a heated argument over…her career? They were such gentlemen.
@Benedick: No limitations on — dramatic pause — murder.
Apparently, Wood got into a heated argument with herself, punched herself repeatedly in the face and threw herself overboard.
Sheriff now says Robert Wagner is not a suspect. Whew. Who else could do those reverse-mortgage commercials?
@FlyingChainSaw: She was always very talented, that one.
@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: She was a lovely woman as well as talented. So she liked a drink. Big deal.
@nojo: It Took a Thief.
@redmanlaw: It was years before I knew the rest of that phrase.
@nojo: I’m calling it right now. It’s the captain. He let his guard down and said something incriminating while being interviewed for that book.
Was a cowbell the weapon?
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Welp Speaking to reporters on Air Force One, President Trump said that “Cuba looks like it is…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 My mood courtesy of Rhiannon Giddens: https://youtu.be/M7PvWw97Cq0
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 A man who has his family and lackeys deeply embedded in every facet of our government is trying to…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 THIS IS NOT OKAY! WE’VE RUN THESE WAR GAMES FOR **YEARS**. SPOILER ALERT: A TON OF PEOPLE DIE.…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! WHAT. THE FUCK?!!?!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @ManchuCandidate: Summer definitely disappeared.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 BTW, has your favorite fundies gone to Ratpure?