Great Moments in Self-Parody

Not content to let Deranger Rick and Penn State steal the spotlight, Herman Cain! roars back today with a new website devoted to smearing his accusers getting out the truth about the Vast Perry/Romney/Obama/Media/Reality Conspiracy that will not rest until he’s taken down.

His lead post relates an Atlanta TV story that proves beyound doubt his innocence:

Private investigator TJ Ward said presidential hopeful Herman Cain[!] was not lying at a news conference on Tuesday in Phoenix.

Cain[!] denied making any sexual actions towards Sharon Bialek and vowed to take a polygraph test if necessary to prove his innocence.

Cain[!] has not taken a polygraph but Ward said he does have software that does something better.

Ward said the $15,000 software can detect lies in people’s voices.

Okay. First, we’d love to see how his Truth Software handles Apple’s Siri. But let’s see how Herman Cain! fares:

CBS Atlanta’s Mike Paluska played Cain[!]’s speech for Ward into the software and watched as it analyzed Cain[!]’s every word.

If he is hiding something this thing would have spiked way down here,” said Ward. “He is being truthful, totally truthful. He is a man with integrity and he talked directly about not knowing any incident he is accused of.”

Well, that’s settled.

Say, are you like us? Loathe to donate to Obama again, but also loathe to see any of his competitors win the White House? We now have a brilliant! solution: Donate to Herman Cain! Your small contribution now will provide months of quality political entertainment!

Investigator: Herman Cain innocent of sexual advances [CBS Atlanta 46]

Cain Truth [Cain campaign, via TPM]


$15,000 truth-detecting software. Uh-huh.

Cain’t said earlier this week that he would take a lie detectors test (intentional spelling). He must have meant a lie detector’s test. A lie detector’s $15,000 test no less. Unfortunately for the women Cain’t will encounter from here on out, he passed. Maybe he got coached up by the Russians like the infamous spy Aldrich Ames on how to pass.

…What we do know is that people have been successful in the
past in using countermeasures to defeat the polygraph exam. The
Ames case was an example. He was taught by the Soviets how to
defeat our process.… (p. 20 of hearing transcript)
The following day, speaking at Los Alamos National Laboratory
U.S. Department of Energy, 1999d), Dr. Ryan stated:
…We do acknowledge that there have been cases where we’ve
been defeated by countermeasures.
I guess one of the most famous ones was the Aldrich Ames
case, by the CIA. It was found he was trained by the Soviets in
how to defeat the polygraph. So we basically had a mole inside
the agency taught how to beat the polygraph, even though he
went through several of them. (p. 153 of hearing transcript)

from: go to page 26

Well, let’s see what Reverse Speech reveals about what Cain is really thinking. “Kisses . . . Laugh and belittle, yeah me. ”

Previous Reverse Speech analysis (Cain speaking):

Campaign advert.

“I really believe that Herman Cain will put united back into the United States [of America], and if I didn’t believe that I wouldn’t be here.” (reversal) Got crime with us (analysis) incongruent – something is wrong with the campaign – or it could mean something is wrong with America.

The Science of Reverse Speech therefore reveals that Cain is Hiding the Truth.

/outed as serious Art Bell junkie back in the day

@jwmcsame: LANL is up the road from me. I pass through the lab grounds to go fishing or hunting in the Jemez Mountains.

My suspicion?

TJ Ward: Herman Cain! is the greatest most generous kindest honest human being I have ever know and that I was PAID TO SAY ABOUT.

@ManchuCandidate: “This $10,000 check in my pocket does not color my opinion on this matter at all.”

@redmanlaw: I have fished Melton Hill lake near and probably contaminated by Oak Ridge National Laboratory. We probably share the same strains of nuclear contamination.

@jwmcsame: “Dr. Ryan stated:
…We do acknowledge that there have been cases where we’ve
been defeated by countermeasures.”

We’re REALLY talking Jack Ryan and Red October, right?

@jwmcsame: Fun Fact: My friend’s gramps was a physicist from Manchupais who did the maths for the H-bomb up at Los Alamos. A-bomb spy Klaus Fuchs was my friend’s mom’s occasional babysitter.

@redmanlaw: the cold war patriots parade about round here occasionally. they are probably near you too. they are the civilian defense industry employees from the cold war. when i first saw them, i thought they were teabaggers. i saw something on tv last night about a monument that stands directly below the tower that was used for the first nuke bomb explosion in the desert out your way. it can’t be a healthy place to be. did you see the doc on pbs a few weeks ago about how wildlife is flourishing now in chernobyl? seems that native wildlife is much better off with nuclear contamination and no humans than with humans and no nukes.

@jwmcsame: Trinity Site is way down is east central NM. Place looks like the Moon. The Manhattan Project check in office at 109 E. Palace Ave. in Santa Fe is two blocks away from where I sit in my office with my microwave soup, streaming sports talk radio and a legal description of tribal lands from a 1941 judgement on my desk.

Turning to “We Ask The Tough Questions (TM)” (and I am not kidding about the “TM” part — it’s for real) Channel 46 for actual journalism is like volunteering to have bamboo shoots driven up your fingernails. Local TV news everywhere sucks, but 46 has the worst Giraldo Rivera-style track record among all of them in Atlanta.

@rptrcub: And until we hear what uber-pyschic Sylvia Browne has to say or that body language chic on the Inside Edition everybody needs chill.

While we are waiting, here’s a pic of Herm! creeping up on a feel

@redmanlaw: who did the surveys for those legal descriptions? in kentucky, title problems can still pop up from old county line surveys done by daniel boone. ole dan was hurting for cash when he got the statewide survey job and enfeebled. so he just drew many county lines on a map without ever venturing out with his old timey surveying gear.

@jwmcsame: The leading surveyor in New mexico in the 1890s was one John H. Walker. Tribes, the federales and others were correcting his work well into the 1980s. My tribe had to go to Congress then to get a boundary adjustment with the adjacent national forest because of Walker’s erroneous survey. Dude claimed to have surveyed one boundary line on a mountain ridge in March, when there is still 8-10 feet of snow in the mountains.

@redmanlaw: are the lobos still interested in mike leach? y’all get him, you will have another fan here in rocky top. i wartch the west coast games on the satellite if i’m not already passed out. leach put on a helluva show at texas tech.

Meanwhile radioactive waste continues its migration from the Hanford “Storage” sites to the Columbia River. Waste cleanup at Hanford can best be described as a radioactive money pit.

@jwmcsame: The New Mexico AD, administration and fans would all pluck their own eyes out to get Leach here (games are broadcast on the radio, so it’s cool) but the Lobos are so fucking bad (0 and fucking 9) that no one who has an actual future in college football would want to take this program over. The interim coach, as well as the former head coach, have publicly accused the players of giving up. Their best shot at a win this season is against lowly UNLV (2-6) on Saturday.

Maybe Mike McQueary will be looking for a new job soon. Lots of people come out here to start over. The Penn State trustees want him off the sidelines on Saturday.

@Jesuswalksinidaho: we incinerate radioactive waste here in oak ridge. they bring it in from the old soviet bloc countries to keep it out of terrorists hands. they ship it in unmarked trucks late at night and mystify it right up into the ozone. of course it’s harmless we are told by the same people that tell us coal ash and mercury poses no problems for the emory river and such downstream. i’ve had nasal drip and a hacking cough for about 2 months now, so the boys must be working overtime incinerating nuke waste these days. you know, the job creators and all.

@redmanlaw: hard times in college football these days, especially for the little children. i suffered through penn state beating tennessee in the last two bowl games we faced each other in. we fumbled away both games. after the first one kerry collins threatened to whup two of my friends in a bar. they had congratulated him for out playing heath shuler. collins kept saying fuck heath shuler, loud and over and over again until my buddy told him to chill. told collins he was only trying to be cool and give credit where credit was due. collins told him he was about to get his ass whupped. so my friend broke out his two feet and walked away. a wise move. wonder how collins feels today? at least heath shuler can proudly where his orange today.

A good chunk of Din’e land – water totally contaminated by uranium from mining. Cancer clusters, the whole nine.

They own the land; the federal gov’t owns (owned?) the mineral rights and whateverelse is under the soil. Great world we live in.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment