God’s Watching the NBA Finals

I think the idiots who push Revelations got it wrong… it’s not that all the Jews have to return to Israel and get blowed up so Armageddon can start, it’s that all the wingnuttiest wingnuts proclaiming they’re going to be running for US America preznit.

I think we need to interview fucking jesus to see what he is telling Fuckabee, Hinto’Mint and the Talibimbo.

Nojo, you have a good deal on long distance? Heaven’s a killer unless you’ve got a negotiated rate.

@FlyingChainSaw: Don’t dare question AmeriKKKan, eee-van-gel-iban Jayzus. He’ll get all infuriated then swooop down in his solid gold Lincoln Interdimensional convertible and personally demand the immediate extermination of the Poorz, the Messicans and the Hummuhsssekshals from his soapbox on the corner of Broadway and Wall Street.

@FlyingChainSaw: Since God has a JesusPhone, it’s mobile-to-mobile.

Good news! Michelle Bachman has also received the divine go-ahead. Apparently God answers the prayers of late night comedians. Colbert’s novena is really bearing fruit.

@Mistress Cynica: Excellent and just in time for Mr. Bachmann to be ripe to rekindle Cocktober this year.