Aliens Invade San Diego

Over the past twenty minutes, a mysterious contrail-emitting vessel darkened the skies over Stinque World Domination Headquarters, leaving curious glyphs that we’re sure NASA scientists are already hard at work deciphering. We think that Earthling Ken is in danger of having his heart removed after the anal probe is administered. Or perhaps it’s a warning that anybody found with two hearts should be immediately quarantined. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s the world’s most expensive text message.