Let’s Play Guess the Writer!

Hint: He writes like H. P. Lovecraft.

Note to fellow Stinquers: do not read the comments, especially if there’s anything sharp nearby.

@nojo:

I was thinking L Ron Hubbard

@Capt Howdy: I would have said L. Frank Baum, but digital fingerprints don’t lie.

Contards will piss their pants over anything.

but really
how fucking lucky is the Obama administration in their enemies?

On a different, yet equally infuriating note, Twilight is apparently a success because teenage girls don’t want to be sluts…Which is funny because Bella spends the entire series trying to convince her boyfriend to have sex with her…or bite her…or both. I’m still not entirely clear on that, and I’m too afraid to find out for myself.

As weak as these films have been in the storytelling department, they’ve become money machines because a majority of young girls don’t want to be Lady Gaga, they don’t want to monologue about their vagina with Jane Fonda, and they simply don’t understand why the very same adults charged with protecting them use classroom time to roll Trojans on cucumbers.

Thank you, Breitbart & Friends. Now, excuse me while I go find my mom and ask if she can spare any Xanax.

Edit: I should note that, yeah, most girls (and a few guys) my age do want to be Lady Gaga.

Zsa Zsa, we hardly knew ye.

@JNOVjr:
That sucks and bites.

It’s sad, but not surprising considering fundies have higher instances of bad not so sexy things happening to them in regards to sex.

@JNOVjr:
Breitbart being the ultimate authority on teen aged girls.

@JNOVjr: As if “young girls” even know who Jane Fonda is, let alone why she would want to converse with them about their ladybits!

I’m sorry, I can’t hear any of this over the Orbital playing through the speakers, and the chocolate-covered cranberries I’m eating. I’ll be back to these douchenozzles and their petty bullshit some time later.

@IanJ: Please tell me more about this Orbital? I could use some new tunes. I’m thinking about going all Crystal Method right now and trancing out.

@IanJ: May I recommend my latest Trader Joe’s find?: dark chocolate covered pomegranate seeds. To. die.

@Prommie:

What’s up with Zsa Zsa?