Bombshell Revelation: Oil Spill Not Blamed On Gays

Coincidence? Or the hand and judgment of God?

Or — we’re just spitballing here — criminal recklessness?

Nah. Couldn’t be that.

Is oil catastrophe fulfillment of Genesis prophecy? [WND. Of Course.]
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For a more recent event than the independence of Israel, April 19, 2005 was the date Cardinal Ratzinger was elected Pope Benedict. That seems a much likelier sore spot with God.

Or maybe the true cause for God causing the Gulf disaster can be found on April 20, 1861 – Robert E. Lee resigns his commission in the United States Army in order to command the forces of the state of Virginia.

Of course you can’t entirely dismiss the zany criminal recklessness theory.

so
whats with the 24 hour delay? is god lazy? or busy? or just a procrastinator like me?
if it was going to be all about revenge for what happened on the 19th you would think he would have made it blow UP on the 19th wouldnt you?

It was totally Benedick. Anyone tells you different, it’s a lie.

@FlyingChainSaw:

We gheyz roll like that. I’m responsible for all that flooding in Southern China right now, for example. We take turns.

T/J: Breaking hard, altho not as hard as I used to be: I’ll be on CNN live tomorrow at 8 AM Pacific time, talking about the crazy-ass BP Alaska project that is in the NYT today. If I manage to use the word “stink,” everyone needs to down a shot of something high-proof.

@Dodgerblue: No, you should send a salute to your best friend FlyingChainSaw and his friends on Stinque.com while you are on the show and we will buy you a beer!

@Dodgerblue: Appointment television! Seven my time. I’ll be there with my 4x espresso.

@redmanlaw: Nine your time, unless you’re now in Alaska.

@FlyingChainSaw: I’ll send him a 20 if he uses the word chainsaw along with stink.

@Dodgerblue: What time is that in dog-years? I’ll chug a pint if you say “pestork.”

And could one of you gheys do something that would create a mini-disaster where I work, nothing that would kill anyone, but shut the place down for a couple of weeks? Jerk someone off or something, that would be enough, for a minor, localized, non-lethal incident, wouldn’t it?

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Right. Never forget the sodomy. It’ll totally bite you in the ass. Hey. Nice job with the flooding, bro.

@Dodgerblue: I’ll rush my workout. My trainer is a beast.

@Prommie:

That’s a club restroom handjob I think. I’d have to check the union rules. The twinks take care of those…so sorry, out of luck here. Maybe Homofacist.

@Dodgerblue: WOOT! Get the some PerstorkaBrew, and you’ll be ready to go!

@Dodgerblue: Oh, “stink” is easy. Perstorking, well, that’s kinda hard.

@JNOV: I’m setting the bar at “chainsaw.”

Hey, this explains the hyperactive libido thing, you know, they way teh gheys are all like bathouse-orgying all the time. If every single bad thing that ever happens to a heterosexual is caused by some ghey somewhere doing something ghey, no wonder gheys have to spend so much time gheying it up. I mean, every time a hetero stubs his toe, it means a homo was leering at a same-sex person with ghey lust, and gheys are only a minority of the population, that means there’s lots of lusting going on, and sodomy, too, never forget that.

Man, thats a huge burden, creating all that evil in the world.

Lefty, are you taking suggestions for world cup hottie of the day?
If so, please review.

@Dodgerblue: Chainsaw is also kinda easy. And considering the topic, ‘bionic’ doesn’t get many points either.

Now, “dumpster baby” on the other hand ….

@Dodgerblue: Aw, c’mon there’s got to be a million ways to weave in a few pestorking references into a conversation about primary industries regulation.

@SanFranLefty: I picked the wrong week to give up martinis.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Bill Clinton?

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Love can do that.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: “They treat a pristine Arctic wilderness like a dumpster baby after the prom.

@Prommie: This would be the apotheosis of Stinque.com history!

It should be obvious why the rig blew up on 4/20: apparently Jeebus was a few tokes over the line. :)

@Dodgerblue: But you could break up pertsorking into “stork” and “per blah blah blah…” I swear, if you do it, I’m going to lose it.

@JNOV: You can sneak it into the discussion as a misstatement, ‘perstork. . .em, per your last point . . . ‘ You don’t have to get into a debate about how the spill is turning off people from their daily pestorking rituals and increasing hypertension in America.

I bet he could get by the blooper track if he said, “Sit on my face, Helen Mirren” in French.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I have been considering using the photo of Bocanegra and Beasley in a piggy-backed embrace. I’m thinking of Bocanegra for Saturday’s hottie. Unless you want to nominate a different US ‘Merikan – Tim Howard, Jonathan Bernstein, and Donovan have already received the honors from me.

But given some developing stories in the news, and the most fitting photo of a player in a game today, I’m probably going to have to run with a different WCHotD for today.

Oh, and in other news, I found a vuvuzela sound effect button and sent it to Nojo to add to the site.

@JNOV: @FlyingChainSaw: I like your suggestions ….

@Dodgerblue: Oh, now I’m really finally sorry I don’t have TV! Pleeeeez post the clip?

@FlyingChainSawx2: You’d better get to writing, Sir. I mean, if you want to meet her in the flesh, so to speak.

@karen marie: I’ll get it to you if they don’t post it. JNOVJezebel [at gee mail] etc., etc.

@karen marie: I’ll be at work so I won’t be in front of a teevee either, but I just found this!: http://live.cnn.com/

It looks like there are a few channels to choose from, so we’ll just have to look for the feed with a tall, dashing, tree-hugging Californian wearing spectacles….or will it be Dodger’s voice streaming over images of oil-coated polar bears??

@flippin eck: He’ll be wearing flannel or a surf shirt. (My dream.)

@Prommie:

You’re telling me! And single-handedly keeping the producers of brunch and brunch-related goods in business hasn’t been a picnic either.

Don’t get me started on how much the manscaping costs either. We’ll be here all day.

By the way, go to Banana Republic today, 25% off everything, I got out of there for under $300 today, no joke.

@SanFranLefty: I don’t know who any of those people are. I just thought the photo of Bubba + Bud + half naked soccer player was funny.

@flippin eck: Thanks for the link. But what’s up with CNN? Are they competing with Jerry Springer?

They’ve got stories up about a teen mother posting a photo on FB of her baby smoking a bong, Naked Cowboy v. Naked Cowgirl, a “naked girl” taking police on a chase, and a large number of stories about van der Sloot, including naked crime scene photos.

Is that really what TV nooze is about these days?

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: I had Borders coupons for 42% and 33% off in the past few days. I got a guide to the Pecos Wilderness in the Santa Fe National Forest and a book on flyfishing in New Mexico.

Gotta set up a practice rod for Son of RML to practice casting. Some friend of his angled an invite to some private water up in the woods. He’s also recently become really excited about the climbing gym.

@redmanlaw:

Sweet. I love cheap books.

How is that kid anyway? Tell him his dad’s weird friend said hi.

@SanFranLefty: I found a vuvuzela sound effect button and sent it to Nojo to add to the site.

Some geeking required, but the Rimshot Button now has an incredibly annoying friend.

And no, I’m not labeling them. Where’s the adventure in that?

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Yeah, Bubba’s the least attractive part of the photo. I would have thought they’d drink something better than Bud.

I had this big ambition of doing a post today featuring exposed body parts correlating to the muscles that Al Gore allegedly asked the massage lady to work on, but then I was needing brain bleach so I went with this Italian mess instead.

@nojo: Please God, no. Well, I guess I don’t have to click on it…

ADD: WAIT! They’re not labeled? >:-/

@nojo: Uh, are you going to switch them up just to fuck with us?

@nojo: Yay! I couldn’t get better odds in Vegas, and I still chose the wrong one.

@redmanlaw: All such self-improvement resolutions should be held in abeyance for the duration of the BP well disaster, as far as I am concerned, its Armegeddon, until proven otherwise. Like the Australians in On the Beach, I am dedicating myself to mindless hedonism for the duration.

@SanFranLefty: I got around to reading the entire account of Algore’s efforts to get his second chakra released. Note well, she was very clear, after an initial angry response, she says he quickly switched to pathetic begging.

My theory, he was stoned to bejeezus. Thats a story I have heard about him from everyone I know who has actually met him.

@Promnight: What? That he’s stoned all the time or that he descends through a predictable spectrum of behaviors before he passes out in his own shit after getting wrecked?

@Promnight: The account of him singing along to P!nk’s “Mr President” while wearing a bathrobe can only be explained by ganja or painkillers. And I loved that she said to him when he started his karaoke performance something along the lines of “How wacked out were you after the election?”

For those who thought the phrase “crazed sex poodle” rang a bell, it’s from the movie All of Me, which to bring it full circle to Nojo’s 7 am post, starred Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin, who I think is one of the funniest female comedians.

@FlyingChainSaw: Who among us doesn’t descend through a predictable series of behaviors before passing out in our own shit? I mean, in the big picture of things?

@SanFranLefty: My comments about female comedians, how many of them seem to make an effort to be non-threatening, that was not criticism of female comedians, that was a feminist-aware recognition that the male-dominated culture is somewhat threatened by a rapier sharp, vicious female. Whereas a sharp, vicious male comedian is more accepted.

@Promnight:

I make it a point to pass out only in the shit of others, thank you very much.

@FlyingChainSaw: Oh no, at the end, we all descend through a predictable series of behaviors, and then we die, in our own shit.

@Dodgerblue: That should be, um, 8:30PM Nabisco Standard – perfect as I pack the toys suitcase for my rendezvous with Ma Nabisco and our second chakra.

@Mistress Cynica: I think they’re sponsoring the whole freakin’ tournament. It’s a slap in the face – nay, a spit in the eye – to that other Bud.

@SanFranLefty: Okay — that was a BIG mistake on my part.

@Nabisco: Update on the countdown clock to rendezvous, please.

@Nabisco: D’oh. Must learn to read then comment.

Seriously. You paired off people and your second chakri. Pitiful. SMH.

@JNOV: Nope, will follow the Stinque fashionista advice for TV: blue shirt, solid tie, try to keep the Jew-Fro in check.

@Dodgerblue: Once in awhile say, “That’s a good question, ______” and they’ll mos def have you back. At least that works for Brian Levin.

@Nabisco: That reads like, “Give ’em Stinque Honey,” what with all this chakra kahn business going down.

@JNOV: I shall have no gods before Chaka Khan!

@FlyingChainSaw: How does her top stay up? I’ve never had such luck with tube tops. And she is bouncing!

ETA: I also like that fur bra she used to wear. She’s been seen in Philly hanging out in Chinatown. I don’t think she has a Philly connection, but we’ll claim her.

Damn, Chaka!

I’m almost afraid of (fame). At least I can walk to the grocery store unmolested, or take my children to the doctors. At the moment, Michael Jackson or Diana Ross can’t show their faces. I would never have bodyguards – I would rather carry a gun myself.

Yeah, MJ really can’t show his face.

@JNOV: Providence. Or if you’re a real fan the admission that she is god and can just take care of these things. I think she can remain unmolested because she actually can sing and people actually spend their time with her music listening to her. I wouldn’t recognize her if I saw her but I know two notes into any melody of hers I’d heard before I would recognize her contralto. Then I’d be at her feet weeping and hugging her ankles.

@FlyingChainSaw: She is to be worshiped. I’m kicking the FSM to the curb and joining the One True Church of Chaka™. Here’s what she looks like now: still beautiful. As some would say, exotic.

@JNOV: I think “Chakra Khan” is my new white exotic whale.

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