Quitters Never Win — They Just Cash In

My guess is that her financial fate will end like most lottery winners and sports jock types. Not very well.

And dumpster diving students at Cal State Stanislaus found shredded documents about Talibunny’s speaking fee, after university and foundation officials said no documents existed. Given CSU fees for students are up 49% in the past five years, seems like it’s worth finding out how much the Arctic Grifter is getting paid.

Here’s the contract for Palin’s speaking engagement. Have fun going through it, y’all!

Note the specs for a private plane. Must be at least a 60-seater. No puddle-jumpers for Talibunny! Lear 60

/will continue to go through this as time allows.

@SanFranLefty: Hooray! This is better than Yul Brynner on the road with The King and I.

@SanFranLefty: Speakers’ tables must be “skirted”? Is that the anti-beaver-shot provision?

@Dodgerblue: Victorian modesty.

@Dodgerblue: I think it is. We don’t want splayed fat thighs. Did I not remark on the number of shots of her ass at the convention? In the unsuitable-for-law-firm tight short skirt? All done slightly shooting upwards from behind? As the bishop said to the actress? None of it was accident.

@Benedick: I was hoping for ultimate diva/Spinal Tap/Yul Brenner stuff like no brown M&Ms in the snack trays in the dressing room, but the “two bottles of still water, opened, with bendable straws” was good.

@Benedick: Ugh. I’m reconsidering heterosexuality.

@SanFranLefty: Oh, wow! Now I can’t decide whether to finish watching Helvetica or read the K. I LOVE rock band riders. “Must have 14 navel oranges and 27 seedless grapes hand-peeled by virgins, 15 cans of Red Bull and a fifth of Jack…”

@Dodgerblue:

an old hetero guy i knew said about woman he found vile,
“she makes my dick go IN”

@baked: LOL. Jon Stewart showed a frowny photo of Hillary on the Daily Show and said “that’s where boners go to die.” For some reason, my wife didn’t find that as funny as I did.

@SanFranLefty: I heard about that M&M clause and found it fascinating. Apparently it was inserted as a marker. If such a ridiculous rider was fulfilled then chances were good that the more important clauses – the sack of cash and dope and Loboutins at the door on the way out – would also be honored. With Brynner it was date-stamped (hand-written) brown eggs (six) in the fridge. Plus all kinds of unmentionables. Variety published it on the front page. Hilarity ensued.

@Dodgerblue: Pray to Jesus. Only he can take away the het. In the meantime I will upload the gallery of myself in lederhosen while on a recent trip to Austria. If you have any gay in you at all that will ‘lift your spirits’, shall we say? Then we can talk about a male-bonding trip with sweat-lodge action. I’m into long walks on the beach and romantic candle-lit dinners. Not into H8ters or Andrew Lloyd Webber. Not to rush anything but we’re none of us getting any younger.

On the road all day. Up early after staying up late, now writing memo for AM call with federales that may or may not happen. Fighting brain deth, work going verrrry slowwww. Must not close eyes.

@redmanlaw: You might try drinking tequila. That can do wonders. In all kinds of ways.

@Benedick: I didn’t even have time to drink beer this weekend. The Guinness I bought on Saturday silently mocks me.

@redmanlaw: I’m wondering about your priorities.

@Benedick:

Tequila Story

So, one of my cousins went to visit one of my brothers in NOLA last Friday. My brother headed home around 3:30 AM, and left my cousin with a mutual friend.

Saturday morning, my cousin was rudely awakened when a resident opened his front door, and my cousin rolled in the house. A stranger’s house. My cousin had mistaken the SoHo stranger’s doorway for a bed. Apparently he mistook the front steps for a nightstand and emptied his pockets of his phone, video camera, wallet, etc.

The story the parental units believe is that he was rufffied and rolled by some Bourbon Street female ruffie ruffians. The real story has something to do with double shots of tequila and being tied to a chair. Clue One to the parental units should be that he didn’t go to the police, but parents just can’t get those blinders off w/r/t their dumbass kids.

I’ll get down to the bottom of it. I wanna know what he was tied to. Oh, and we have pictures soon to be up on FB.

@SanFranLefty: You’d think she’d be used to bush pilots.

@SanFranLefty: Okay — why does she need the pilots’ SSNs and cell numbers?

Jeez Louise! They have limited the number of camera clicks per photo op based on the length of the appearance: 45 minutes = 75 clicks.

@JNOV: I’m really liking this story.

@Benedick: You’re right about the not getting younger part. Oy.

@Dodgerblue: So you’re going for the bear demo. K. I can cope. Not usually my thing but whatevs. What I really care about are the long walks on the beach deal. You have been praying to Jesus?

@JNOV: I smell another scoop. Have you and Lefty agreed on terms for the tag-team postings you’re going to do on LLF and the Palin Rider?

OT/ my ‘b’ key sticks on this piece of shitefine American (assembled in China) Dell laptop. Why do PCs continue to mock me for my 25 year love affair with Macs? I have to bang the key harder than I ever did with my grandma’s manual Underwood.

@NaBEEsko: Air. Whissshhhh. MacBook. Whissshhhh. iMac. Whissshhhh. MacBookPro. Whissshhhh. iPad. Fappitifappitifappit… aurgh! Splort!

Macs are the working man’s choice. Anyone seen noje?

@redmanlaw:

If I ever leave behind a Guinness that long, I want one of y’all to put me out of my misery.

@Beesko: Gah, I’m working on it. Long day today. I want to dig more into this CSU-Stanislaus kerfluffle, or something else more Vagina-American related. I’ll try to take the Stinque-mobile out for a spin tomorrow.

I dunno. I was kinda hoping she’d ask for teams of priapismic dwarfs, barbequed flesh of virgins, etc. the percs of a Republican mullah.

@Benedick: The tequila story or the contract story? The contract became very boring very quickly (people must open her water for her), and there are two dumb ass diagrams about how to set up a rope line. I’m still hoping for more details about my cousin’s adventures on and in Bourbon Street.

@NaBEEsko: ::whispers:: I’ve been refused the key.