Dr. Palin: Charged Particles Responsible for Climate Change
Esteemed climate scientist Dr. Sarah Palin released the findings today from a dangerous expedition she recently led to gather ice core data from the polar caps of Greenland. Aided by her husband, the renowned adventurer and explorer Todd Palin, who led the dog sled team that carried the Palins, their equipment, and a contingent of Tea Party Activists to the edge of the arctic caps, Palin spent three weeks gathering spectroscopic readings, drilling and analyzing ice cores for trapped C02 and taking precise temperature measurements and ice thickness readings. The results, which will no doubt shock the scientific world and will be published shortly in the esteemed scientific journal Twitter, blame charged particles, or ions, for the recent rise in global temperatures. Palin’s upcoming scientific paper is reproduced, in its entirety, below:
Earth saw clmate chnge4 ions;will cont 2 c chnges.R duty2responsbly devlop resorces4humankind/not pollute&destroy;but cant alter naturl chng
A world conference of climate experts is expected to be called to discuss the explosive new findings sometime in the coming weeks.
Yeah, but she’ll quit when she realizes that the supposed riches and perks that climate scientists are to get under a Global Warming scenario as outlined by morans like Stossel, Rush, Bekc, Inhofe, Exxon et al don’t make up for the thinking and work required.
I’m counting the minutes till the Palin/Kristol sex tape is leaked (sorry about that) and Todd elopes with Levi to get gay married in Iowa.
Those drowning polar bears are just a bunch of librul vegetarian atheists who hate jesus. If they ate right and prayed for strong legs and ice flows, they’d live but oh, no, they want to be all PC and live on plankton and get all weak and gangly and then when the ice doesn’t appear, they refuse to pray to their lord and god and what can you expect is going to happen? Yeah, no ice for you Mr Polar Bear. You drown and jesus has a big belly laugh and a nice long Ballantine Ale piss on your face before he sends you to hell, furball.
celeb tj/One of our spies saw Cormack McCarthy shopping at Ross Dress for Less near our place in Santa Fe.
Homophones – so hard!
/I’m sure Sarah thinks a homophone is what Benedick uses to call Members of Congress
@shortsshortsshorts: Shorts!! Long time, no see.
@SanFranLefty: “ion” and “eon” are homophones now? When did they come out?
Stinque Programming Note: Our Cloture Open Thread starts at 12:30 ET tonight. Or tomorrow morning, depending on how you view these things.
@Promnight: It’s her weird Alaska-Minnesota accent, doncha know.
T/J aimless bitching: why isn’t the Steelers game on in L.A.? I don’t give a goddam about the 49ers and no one else in L.A. does either.
@nojo: You don’t seriously think I’m awake past 10:30 do you? Except for sometimes.
@Dodgerblue: The end of the Steelers game was the best thing I have seen in pro football in years, time out, 0 seconds on the clock, Roethlisberger throws an 18 yard TD, just so perfectly thrown and caught, beautiful.
BURR DEMING • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Thank you for this, nojo. He was a wonderful talent and, by all accounts, a wonderful human…
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh, and there’s a Catholic church across the street. Maybe I can do a little dance for them!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Now that I’m in NYC, plenty of pigeons to poison in his honor.
NOJO • All the Vice President's Men 2025 update: Nothing happened. And here we are!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Only the sane parts... like the West coast, New England (minus the Bruins and…
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.