Attack Ads 101
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhK-f3GE1nE
For this morning’s seminar, we welcome Congressman Tom Price of the Republican Study Committee. Congressman Price has graciously accepted our invitation to create a hypothetical ad illustrating yesterday’s topic, “If you’re going quote someone out of context, remember to omit the context.”
You’ll note the repeated, ominous clip of Barack Obama saying “I don’t stand with them,” although were this a real attack ad, we would dock it a grade for not including Carmina Burana as background music. (Bernard Herrmann’s score from Psycho is also acceptable.)
But observe the inclusion of Obama’s entire remark leading up to the repeated clip, which demonstrates that “them” are actually vampire financiers eager to suck the lifeblood from working Americans. This undermines the premise of the ad, and Congressman Price informs us he would be laughed out of the room if he showed this in public.
Thank you for your presentation, Congressman Price. We shudder to think what would happen if Republicans lost their core competency.
A Divider Not a Uniter [Political Wire]
Unlike the president, Congressman Tom Price stands with all Americans, which is why he’s a lifetime member of NAMBLA as well as the NRA.
Tom Price is an Upper Class Hero.
As soon as they’re born they make you feel small,
By giving you no time instead of it all,
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all,
An upper class hero is something to be,
An upper class class hero is something to be.
They laugh at your home and they mock you at school,
They hate you if you’re clever and they despise a fool,
Till you’re so fucking crazy you MUST follow their rules,
An upper class hero is something to be,
An upper class hero is something to be.
When they’ve tortured and scared you for twenty odd years,
Then they expect you to pick a career,
When you can’t really function you’re so full of fear,
An upper class hero is something to be,
An upper class hero is something to be.
Keep you fooled with religion and sex and TV,
And they think they’re so clever and classless and free,
But you’re still fucking peasants as far as I can see,
An upper class hero is something to be,
An upper class hero is something to be.
There’s room at the top they are telling you still,
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,
If you want to be like the folks on the hill,
An upper class hero is something to be.
An upper class hero is something to be.
If you want to be a hero well be GOP,
If you want to be a hero well be GOP.
This guy is the quintessential “assistant principal” type. Balding, pastel shirt, bad tie, probably a pocket protector. He failed as a gym teacher, and they had to put him somewhere.
Douche. Bag.
Never fear, Hedge Fund Americans, Tom Price is gonna fight. For your right. To PARTY!
This idiot is kissing LINCOLN’s marble butt as the Uniter? Is it somehow possible he doesn’t know what several states like Georgia did after Lincoln was elected? Has he never been told that Lincoln kept this nation united by sheer naked force? Maybe one of Rep. Price’s constituents will remind him someday of General Sherman’s devastating March to the Sea and his immortal words, “I can make this march, and I will make Georgia howl!”
That’s how President Lincoln united the nation. Woe to Rep. Price and the GOP base if Obama ever starts uniting the nation like Lincoln did.
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