Ick. Ick. Ick. Ick. Ick.

This explains the two days I just spent with our legislators in Sacramento.

Only a matter of time before this goes cross-species, too. I’m going back to bed.

Anyone who has been bitten by a fire ant will feel nothing and probably be cheered by this story.

This might be what’s afflicting the GOP, but don’t you need to actually have a brain in the first place?

I like ants. No, I admire them. Elegant and industrious, they get a bad rap for the most part.

The ichneuman fly does a similar thing. I know that because I had a speech about it in a play once. I was playing Darwin. It was a comedy. I had to smoke dope. I wore a hawaiian shirt. I was awesome.

Oh wait, are we talking about me?

One of the things I disliked about living in Austin was that any attempt to lounge on the grass outdoors was immediately met with serious grievances on the part of the fire ants. Which reminds me of my pope-related partial TJ yesterday: I remember when JPII was gonna go a-massin’ in San Antonio, they had to clear a huge field not of olive trees, but fire ants.

So, bring on the zombie flies. I mean really, what could go wrong?

Glad to see there’s something that can bring the Aggies together with the Longhorns.

@Benedick: There’s a big difference between ants and Texas fire ants. These suckers can and have killed livestock, dogs, cats, and babies. They are pure evil. They must be zombified.

@Nabisco: Around the same time as El Papa’s visit to the Alamo, there were torrential thunderstorms and flooding in the Hill Country. [Hmm.] Anyway, all the lakes and rivers were filled to the max – Canyon Lake actually went over the spillway into the Comal River. Sadly, a bunch of kids going to camp had their bus washed away. But related to fireants – naturally, my family went up to Canyon Lake to gawk at the flooding because it was cheap entertainment. I saw these things that looked like giant balls of leaves and bark. We went out on a partially damaged pier to look closer. They were giant balls of FIRE ANTS. The ones on the bottom were dead, naturally, but they had somehow formed themselves into a spherical shape where the alive fire ants were swarming on top of the floating carcasses into these balls of writhing fire ants, anywhere from eight inches to two feet in diameter. It’s one of the grossest fucking things I’ve ever seen, it gives me itchy chills just thinking about it.

@Dodgerblue: Ugh. Today is my turn to endure Excremento…

If the phorid flies make the dietary leap from fire ant brains to human brains the flies will be extinct in no time. Reading this right after watching “The World According to Monsanto” makes me think our brains disappeared years ago.

Good riddance (though Nabisco’s prescience is duly noted).

@Benedick: Darling, of course. It’s all about you.

@ManchuCandidate: Yeah. My only response to that story was “cool!”

@Mistress Cynica:

Wait, what? I thought it was all me.

@Mistress Cynica: Thanks for that. I got confused for a moment.

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: Wait your turn.