The Left Hand Points to Wasilla, the Right Hand to God
We’re still waiting for Bristol’s bastard to drop, but an ominous portent has appeared in Anchorage: Snowzilla, a 25-foot harbinger of doom.
Snowzilla magically appears each Christmas on the lawn of Billy Powers to delight visitors and frighten the neighbors, who don’t appreciate the extra traffic. The Scrooges at Anchorage City Hall tried to prevent “the building, enlargement, and any action associated with the construction of the extraordinarily large snowman,” but Snowzilla does not recognize the laws of mortals.
Rumors that Vladimir Putin can see Snowzilla from his house have not been confirmed.
Revenge of Snowzilla [Anchorage Daily News]
Left hand points to Russia: right hand points to God.
Carrot points to Chapped Ass, local Wasilla gay bar.
The right hand claims it; the left hand wafts it.
I think the “snow” is made from the frozen starbursts of Rich Lowry.
Who found the “carrot” in Bible Spice’s locked drawer?
This is the best, and probably most factual, quote from the article:
One of them, Barbara Hosier, included a note saying the snowman is “the best thing that ever happened in Anchorage.”
BURR DEMING • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Thank you for this, nojo. He was a wonderful talent and, by all accounts, a wonderful human…
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh, and there’s a Catholic church across the street. Maybe I can do a little dance for them!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Now that I’m in NYC, plenty of pigeons to poison in his honor.
NOJO • All the Vice President's Men 2025 update: Nothing happened. And here we are!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Only the sane parts... like the West coast, New England (minus the Bruins and…
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.