Heather Locklear Booked for Murdering Ray-Bans & Driving Like Mel Gibson

Heather Locklear: <BR/> Ray-Ban Murderer

Heather Locklear: Ray-Ban Murderer

Pathetic flea-bag TV actress Heather Locklear was arrested by the California Highway Patrol after she was observed jumping the curb in her car and driving back and forth over a pair of sunglasses like a fucking psycho.

CHP police arrested Locklear on Saturday evening for driving around stoned after they got a call about her going bonkers in Montecito, finally intercepting her on State Road 192, where she had abandoned her car and went to play in traffic.

Rumors immediately began flying in the film industry that Locklear and perpetually shitfaced Mel Gibson were going to cash in on their wanton lifestyles and notoriety by filming a remake of ‘Smokey and the Bandit’ as a cross country demolition derby movie.

“That’s just the way we drive. You got a problem with that? Yeah, asshole? Hey, are you Jewish? Come back here you fucking asshole and I’ll skull fuck you to death,” Gibson told The Stinque.

FlyingChainSaw
6:21 am • Monday • September 29, 2008
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11 Comments

ManchuCandidate

8:18 am • Monday • September 29, 2008

At least she didn’t jump on the hood of a car like her TJ Hooker costar was known to do.

Prommie

9:42 am • Monday • September 29, 2008

Nice roots. But she gots teh crazy eyes, I’d hit it. Obviously fun to be around.

redmanlaw

11:34 am • Monday • September 29, 2008

@Prommie: Once the drug and alcohol screen or police report comes in (look at Smoking Gun), you could order up a bunch of whatever she’s on for Thursday.

Some people need to execute Plan B and get on with their lives once the music stops.

homofascist

11:37 am • Monday • September 29, 2008

FCS is demonstrating a wide range of interest.

nabisco

12:37 pm • Monday • September 29, 2008

@Prommie: Most definitely. I’d even bring my own Ray bans, as long as she shared her meds.

FlyingChainSaw

12:43 pm • Monday • September 29, 2008

Hopefully, the full police report will have interesting details of her going totally Gibson and calling guys, “sugar nuts”.

Tommmcatt Yet Again

1:08 pm • Monday • September 29, 2008