Turn Me On, Dead Man
This week in news guaranteed to blow. your. mind. comes word that God is a hermaphrodite.
That’s right. Not just Alpha and Omega, but AC/DC. Innie and outie. Pistil and stamen. Man and, um, man in the boat.
How do we know? After six thousand years, somebody finally thought to read it backwards.
The journal of Reform rabbis published an article this week proclaiming that if the four-letter Hebrew name of God were spelled backward and pronounced it would sound like the Hebrew words for “he” and “she.”
Actually, HWHY sounds like our aunt sneezing, but bear with us.
The reasoning is that since Hashem — Moses’ name spelled backwards — is Hebrew for “The Name”, perhaps God backmasked Himself as well. (“Hashem” is how you refer to He Who Must Not Be Named, roughly equivalent to “gosh” for Christianists.)
And that would suggest that the ancient Israelites saw God as a self-satisfying deity.
We find the whole notion far-fetched, although it was probably handy to fend off nosy neighbors who asked why there wasn’t a Mrs. God.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: No, but my government was.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Were you kidnapped?
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: I’ve spent the past five weeks looking like Astronaut Dave going through the…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! NOJO - HOW COME WE'RE NOT COVERING KRASNOV?
NOJO • The Reckoning Four years later: Uhhh, how’d that work out?
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread @nojo: yeah. I had a feeling you’d say that.
NOJO • Hanging by a Thread @JNOV: Haven’t touched a thing — checked it the other day, worked from here. But that’s my…
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread Oh! My edits worked! Praise nojo!