Drama in Real Life

A man who wore press credentials and took photographs from a platform interrupted Barack Obama’s town-hall meeting Tuesday by shouting complaints that the Democratic presidential candidate had not called for the audience to say the Pledge of Allegiance. (AP)

I was returning home with my family from a ski trip when suddenly the brakes gave out on the steep mountain road. After narrowly missing two oncoming cars, I lost control and we plunged over a cliff, rolling six or seven times before landing in a fiery explosion. I’ll never forget to say the Pledge again.
— Joe R., Medford, Ore.

The one day I forgot to say the Pledge was the day my house collapsed under a falling jet engine. Learned my lesson!
— Beverly D., Indianapolis, Ind.

Just for kicks, I tried saying “Underwear” instead of “Under God”. Three prostate surgeries and a bankruptcy later, I’m now eating leftovers from the Dumpster behind the Olive Garden.
— Richard H., Biloxi, Miss.

Despite my best effort to suppress it, midway through I let out this honker of a sneeze. I’m still dealing with the whiplash lawsuits from everyone spinning their heads to glare at me.
— Susan M., Casper, Wy.

It’s only words? You wouldn’t say that if you had been abducted by aliens, subjected to anal probes, your organs harvested for the Feast of Interstellar Conquest, implanted with the seed of Gzymidranopoz, and given birth to the Xyzznothan Lord of Darkness, all in twenty-seven minutes.
— William J., Sparks, Nev.

Honest to gosh I try, but whenever I say “with liberty and justice for all,” Dick slaps me upside the head.
— George B., Washington, D.C.

Man heckles Obama about Pledge of Allegiance [AP]