It’s Not My Fault
I’m sorry I’m late, but Barack Obama’s opposition to offshore drilling made me miss a turn. This after I waited in line ten minutes for a frappamochamuthafucka, only to discover that Obama’s stance on parental responsibility prevented me from hitting the bank machine first.
I was going to text you, but my cell has sucked ever since Obama’s healthcare policy caused me to drop it in the toilet. And my plans to replace it with a new iPhone were thwarted when Obama’s college tax-credit proposal forced me to attend a Batman matinee instead.
But perhaps I’m being too harsh on myself. Life’s been rough after Obama’s proposed immigration reforms compelled me to sleep with my best friend’s wife. And I know that if not for Obama’s plan to provide affordable broadband coverage across rural America, I’d have been born to different parents.
Anyway, forget all that, I’m here now. Wait — do I know you?
BURR DEMING • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Thank you for this, nojo. He was a wonderful talent and, by all accounts, a wonderful human…
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh, and there’s a Catholic church across the street. Maybe I can do a little dance for them!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Now that I’m in NYC, plenty of pigeons to poison in his honor.
NOJO • All the Vice President's Men 2025 update: Nothing happened. And here we are!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Only the sane parts... like the West coast, New England (minus the Bruins and…
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.