The Six Feet Under Club
While the headline may inspire torrid fantasies of Freddy Rodríguez with a hot cadaver, this, alas, is much more tawdry. Seems some enterprising Wisconsin youths figured it was never too late, and set out for the graveyard to get their ghoulish freak on:
Police say the three men, carrying shovels, a crowbar and a box of condoms, went to a cemetery in southwestern Wisconsin in 2006 to dig up the body of [a 20-year-old woman] who had been killed the week before in a motorcycle crash.
The shovels worked, the crowbar didn’t, and they never got around to the rubbers — they couldn’t pry the casket open, and ran off when a car drove by. They were eventually caught and convicted — but they appealed on the claim that Wisconsin doesn’t outlaw sex with dead people.
And so, in a landmark ruling sure to be the highlight of next year’s bar exam, the Wisconsin Supreme Court declared this week that necrophilia is indeed a punishable offense.
Their reasoning? Corpses are unable to give consent.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: No, but my government was.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Were you kidnapped?
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: I’ve spent the past five weeks looking like Astronaut Dave going through the…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! NOJO - HOW COME WE'RE NOT COVERING KRASNOV?
NOJO • The Reckoning Four years later: Uhhh, how’d that work out?
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread @nojo: yeah. I had a feeling you’d say that.
NOJO • Hanging by a Thread @JNOV: Haven’t touched a thing — checked it the other day, worked from here. But that’s my…
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread Oh! My edits worked! Praise nojo!