Burn, Baby, Burn
Honestly, we were joking when we called Bobby Jindal a child abuser. Well, no we weren’t. But we were speaking metaphorically. We weren’t accusing Our Favorite Exorcist of physically harming children.
Not like this guy.
Meet John Freshwater, a good Christian who teaches science in Mount Vernon, Ohio. His competencies include promoting Creationism, questioning carbon-dating, and damning homosexuals.
Oh, and burning crosses into the flesh of students.
He brands them scientifically, of course, using a gizmo called a “high frequency generator” to carve what he considers a highly stylized “X” — one line just happens to be significantly longer than the other. The wounds heal in a mere three or four weeks, after which the kids are free to forsake our savior and burn in hell.
But he’s a great guy, really. Just ask his friend Dave Daubenmire:
“With the exception of the cross-burning episode… I believe John Freshwater is teaching the values of the parents in the Mount Vernon school district,” he told The Columbus Dispatch for a story published Friday.
Well, yes, of course. Teaching values is what science is all about.
BURR DEMING • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Thank you for this, nojo. He was a wonderful talent and, by all accounts, a wonderful human…
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh, and there’s a Catholic church across the street. Maybe I can do a little dance for them!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Now that I’m in NYC, plenty of pigeons to poison in his honor.
NOJO • All the Vice President's Men 2025 update: Nothing happened. And here we are!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Only the sane parts... like the West coast, New England (minus the Bruins and…
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.