Nothing Cums of Nothing.

When you’re awake at 3am to consider the wasteland of your life here’s a way to look at death. Yes, he’s welcome; yes, he’s seductive; yes, he’s not wearing much; yes, you hope you cum together but still…

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We never talk about it. We don’t make plans. We don’t display the deceased in the living room. Hospice is one thing but do we have a local café?

Is there honey still for tea?

NPR floats a trial casket.

23 comments:

12:01 am • Saturday • March 9, 2013

Bullshit! You know where he got those pants!

12:03 am • Saturday • March 9, 2013

We won’t talk about the other thing. :/

1:00 am • Saturday • March 9, 2013

@JNOV: Hammaconda?

1:29 am • Saturday • March 9, 2013

@SanFranLefty: Hahahahahaha! That, too. But Bene knows I squick over that word.

7:19 am • Saturday • March 9, 2013

Christ, it’s been a few years since I woke up in the middle of the night tormented by thoughts/fears of my own mortality. I’m not sure this would have made it any better.

11:21 am • Saturday • March 9, 2013

The world recedes; it disappears;
Heav’n opens on my eyes; my ears
With sounds seraphic ring:
Lend, lend your wings! I mount! I fly!
O Grave! where is thy Victory?
O Death! where is thy Sting?

- Alexander Pope

You guys are SO gonna owe me drinks when we all get to heaven. Plus I’ll get to do the “told you so” dance.

11:32 am • Saturday • March 9, 2013
1:34 pm • Saturday • March 9, 2013
1:47 pm • Saturday • March 9, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: What is the point of heaven? Why can’t this here thang be heaven and we can dispense with all the shitty stuff like the trauma of being born, the crappiness of our impending deaths and those of others and all that shitty shit between the two?

Life is for the living. Dead is dead.

Not that I wouldn’t let you do the happy dance all over my head. Just get there before they wrap me in my winding sheet.

1:49 pm • Saturday • March 9, 2013

ADD: No snark intended. I wish you were right. I think you’re wrong. I’d be cool with you being right. I still think you’re wrong. And I loves ya.

2:13 pm • Saturday • March 9, 2013

@JNOV: I think Puddleglum the Marshwiggle from C.S. Lewis’ The Silver Chair said it best:

“I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Aslan to lead it. I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.”

Get it? Life is for the alive, true. But sometimes hope of Heaven is better than no hope at all.

If you’re right, we’ll never know. If I’m wrong that’s true as well.

2:18 pm • Saturday • March 9, 2013

@nojo: Hm. Google “Hot Jesus Porn”. Think we’ll get anything good?

2:38 pm • Saturday • March 9, 2013
3:35 pm • Saturday • March 9, 2013

@nojo: Jesus has lesbian cunnilingus in his heart of hearts? Who knew?

3:48 pm • Saturday • March 9, 2013

@JNOV: It’s all good, love. Atheism is so prominent nowadays that my heavenly tab is going to be paid for years.

4:15 pm • Saturday • March 9, 2013
7:12 pm • Saturday • March 9, 2013

screw tea and cake. I want vodka.

7:42 pm • Saturday • March 9, 2013

@CaptHowdy: We all want vodka.

8:51 am • Sunday • March 10, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: That must represent the gift of tongues Paul told us about.

4:51 pm • Sunday • March 10, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: I’m looking forward to meeting you in the great by and by. Since I’m now this many (flashes both hands open to show all fingers seven times), I may first meet you on greeting you.

5:52 pm • Sunday • March 10, 2013

@lynnlightfoot: We’ll start the party together! This way we can yell drunkenly at Benedick when he shows up.

Yelling is MUCH more fun wasted.

6:05 pm • Sunday • March 10, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Please play with my dogs when you get there.

10:31 am • Wednesday • March 13, 2013

Couple things: if going to heaven means I have to talk to my family then include me out.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: My fave account of heaven is by Ford Maddox Ford who imagines it as a village in the south of France where a man sits in a cafe waiting for his beloved to arrive so that when she does he can walk her up the hill in the cool of evening to the chateau where God lives. She arrives in a red sports car.

I imagine hell as being stuck in a locked room with a bunch of theatre queens arguing about the best version of Phantom.

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