Shove Connection

America has spoken: Rowdy debates are a lot more fun than Dignified Discourse On the Pressing Issues of the Day. And as we nuke our popcorn in preparation for tonight’s Preznidential Debate Open Thread/Closed Fists, we have just one thought: An empty chair is no good unless thrown.

109 comments:

8:31 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

This is the last of — what? — eighteen months of debates? I’d look it up, but I don’t want to frighten myself.

8:55 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

I’m going to miss the last half of “Hachi” for this.

9:02 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Happy Cuban Missile Crisis, everybody!

9:06 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

I wanna see Mitt identify Mideast countries on a map.

9:07 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

So far, a kinder gentler debate.

9:08 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Mitt: My strategy is to wear a big white cowboy hat.

9:08 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Yes. “Go after the bad guys.” That’s a plan.

9:10 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

“The 1980s are now calling to ask for their foreign policy back.” Zing!

9:11 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Mitt is turning red. He’s getting pissed off for getting called out as a flip-flopper by Obama.

9:13 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Mitts out to an early lead, but showing signs of overheating, already.

9:13 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Here we go. Thought they’d be calm for a moment.

9:15 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

I’ve counted Obama calling Mitt an amateur twice so far.

9:18 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Mitt is getting close to “thousand points of light” territory with his list of things to do about that pesky Assad.

9:18 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@nojo:

Barry ain’t gonna let Mitt turn this debate into a big hold hands and sing Kumbaya party, is he?

9:20 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Barry badass… that’s my new name for Obama.

9:21 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Oh Mitt, so naive.

9:22 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Romney isn’t going to commit to anything. He looks weak.

9:23 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Obama does this thing when Romney is speaking where he looks at Romney, looks into the camera, smirks just the teeniest bit, looks back at Romney, and then settles into a “Can you believe this idiot?” expression. Love it.

9:24 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

How did giving arms to Bin Laden work out?

9:25 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

I’m convinced that the guy we saw during the first debate was an impostor. Obama refused to have Michelle spend their anniversary at a political debate, so he had a guy who looks like him stand in and “mostly just keep your mouth shut” while he and Michelle enjoyed a nice, quiet, intimate dinner.

9:26 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Serolf Divad: He was doing the Rope-a-Dope at the first debate.

9:27 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Pretty clear that Romney realizes that it’s impossible for a neo-conservative to to be elected President of the United States of America.

9:28 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Where the heck did Romney come up with this “42 allies” thing? Exactly 42… really?

Is there some condiment or sauce I’m unaware of whose bottle features that number?

9:28 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

I am watching a bad british horror movie.

Let me know if Bammerz wins, okay?

9:29 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Woah, Romney hijacked some of Obama’s talking points from the second debate.

9:29 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

“What do you see as our role in the world” is a sorry waste of a question.

9:30 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

The other 38 allies are PISSED!

9:31 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Serolf Divad: That piqued my interest as well.

9:32 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

I’m not sure about this “wrong and reckless” line.

9:32 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Do we drink for Cheney mention? My Seagram’s Extra dry gin is tasty tonight.

9:32 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Also, it’s the foreign policy debate — stop talking about jobs!

9:33 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Targa: that presumes that this ends with Barry standing over Mitt, bleeding on the mat. I don’t see it.

9:33 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Did Romney just imply that he’s going to make Spanish the official language?

9:34 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Serolf Divad: Haha, what?

9:34 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Would somebody please take an axe to Mitt’s stump speech?

9:38 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Less butter! More guns!

9:39 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Per CNN’s dial testing, undecided voters aren’t buying what Mitt’s selling in terms of how he’s going to cut spending.

9:41 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Mitt cutting spending means cutting assistance programs that the lazy shiftless no good leaching 47% rely on to supplement their existence. States can get away with it better than the Feds, that’s why he will do it. Kinda Jim Crowish. Probably.

9:41 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Serolf Divad: he wants to take care of his 50 favorite grandfathers in Mexico.

9:42 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Obama’s letting a lot of Mitt’s bullshit pass unchallenged.

9:43 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@nojo: The horses and bayonets line was a serviceable retort.

9:43 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

It’s not a game of Battleship. It’s Monopoly™ and Operation™, with a touch of Mystery Date™ for the replacement regimes in the Mideast.

9:44 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

That “Battleship” line went better during Foreign Correspondents Dinner Prep.

9:44 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Targa: And what about Risk? Occupy Kamchatka!

9:45 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@nojo: I shoulda said Risk. I almost said Pachisi.

9:48 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

7 steps.
5 point plan.
4 pipes a laying.
3 ships a sailing.
2 eyes a bulging.
Oooooone World Order……

9:49 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Romney’s going to institute charges of genocide against Akhmdinejad based on something he said? Way to completely de-legitimize the International Criminal Court.

9:50 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Serolf Divad: That was weird.

9:51 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@nojo:

That’s just because there’s so much of it you’ve got to pick and choose.

Actually, I’m pretty amazed at how much Romney is saying he agrees with Obama’s foreign policy. Jennifer Rubin’s head must be exploding.

9:52 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Serolf Divad: not to mention cheapening the Geneva Conventions, and the First Amendment.

ADD: didn’t someone have “apology tour”? Drink!

9:52 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Oh, that’s it. The gloves are off now. Apology tour? Really? That’s Tea Bagger territory.

Good grief.

9:52 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

“From the very beginning, one of the challenges we’ve had with Iran” was installing a dictator.

9:53 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Serolf Divad: Plus all those neocons at Mitt HQ.

9:54 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Alert Benedick: Romney likes ‘em tight and hard.

9:54 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Beggars Biscuit: “Apology tour” is on my bingo card.

9:56 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Is “You skipped Israel” this year’s “You forgot Poland”?

9:56 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Is Romney looking more Beef Steak or Roma tomato?

9:56 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@mellbell: wasn’t that also the name of Sting’s last global a go go?

9:57 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Targa: Mitt keeps leaning closer to the split screen.

9:58 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Between this exchange and the Benghazi moment in the last debate I get the feeling that Obama has a righteous indignation on/off switch.

9:58 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Obama just crushed Mitt Romney on the Israel thing.

9:58 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Now, by “foreign policy” we mean the Middle East, correct? Because I’m still waiting to hear about any other country. I guess nothing’s going on in the Sudan this week.

10:02 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Women like this 9/11 anecdote. Men not so much.

10:02 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Romney has that “I love my granddaughter but do I really have to stay for the entire third grade strings recital?” Look on his face.

10:03 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Is this a rout for Romney? Is Scheifer worse than Lehrer? Am I overreacting?

10:03 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Benedick: No. Yes. Yes. Probably.

10:05 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Benedick: Schieffer certainly has more control of the debate than Lehrer did, but he probably won’t smack down Romney like Crowley did.

10:05 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

When did Mitt become Obama’s Afghanistan spokesman?

10:07 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

So far my bottle of gin is better than this debate. Second debate was better. Less anecdotes, more vitriol.

Less Anecdotes More Vitriol is the name of my next album.

10:08 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@nojo: exactly. SecState is his “safe school”.

10:08 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Pretty sure Schieffer just said Obama bin Laden.

10:10 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

“Drones are people my friends!”

10:12 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

I don’t believe Romney really has a working or hypothetical foreign policy. He’s just saying stuff he thinks we want to hear. He’s going to focus on the bull crap going on here in the states and ignore the rest of the world. His policy will be praying at the altar of Bush and Cheney and just put boots on the ground.

10:13 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Instead of Doubling Guantanamo, Mitt wants to Double Obama.

10:14 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Targa: Mitt sounds incrementally better than Ryan after studying the same cramming books.

10:16 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@nojo: Exactly! They even have the same practiced head tilt smirk feigning passionate interest.

10:17 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@mellbell: Heroin. It’s my wife, and it’s my life.

10:19 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

I think Obama wins on dignified tie.
Schieffer’s tie betrays his dignity… in 1983.

The gin is kicking in.

10:20 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Valves, people! Valves!

10:21 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

No China. No iPhones.

10:22 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

I love American cars. I drive a BMW.

10:25 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Can you hear me now, Ohio?

10:27 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Anecdotes. Ugh!

10:29 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Whenever Mitt “loves” something, imagine Michael kissing Fredo.

10:29 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Targa: Mitt’s wearing the British west-to-east stripe again. Why does he hate America?

ADD: we are not better off now than we were four years ago, we just use #hashtags now.

10:32 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

I think Romney just became Reagan. OK. Reagan Lite. Who knew such a thing was possible.

10:32 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Re: Schiffer. Could someone replace our regular moderator with Lewis Black?

10:32 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Mitt is lying in his closing statement: He turned beet red at the last two sentences.

10:33 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Benedick: I was thinking the same thing. Seriously.

10:34 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Is Tagg going to punch the President?

10:35 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Beggars Biscuit: I didn’t know that was a thing until the haberdasher on The Daily Show told me so.

10:35 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Targa: Mitt’s Tell is opening his mouth.

10:36 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Targa: Actually, Barry is working the Romney rope line. Did anyone else see Mitt go kind of passive-aggro with Ann and a punch on the arm?

10:37 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Tweety is going off.

Greatness. Exasperating. But great, nonetheless.

10:39 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Michelle definitely wins on the style front. The ombre effect on Ann’s skirt is okay, but the top half of that dress is pure Christmas sweater.

10:39 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

Mitt is lying, he’s rambling, and he’s speaking at at grade school level. …because it worked so well for Saint Ronney and W.

10:39 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Beggars Biscuit: Rewinding. Saw him tap her elbow. Saw Tagg apologize to the Prez. And saw some flower print dresses that should have stayed on a hanger. I’m a graphic designer, I see shit like that.

10:40 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@mellbell: You think I knew that before?? I’m lucky if I remember to wear brown socks with my brown Oxfords, but never with blue slacks – right Benedick?

A t-shirt and sweatpants is so much easier…

10:42 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

And now, an ass kissing moment:
To Stinque. Thanks for these open threads. I enjoy these… probably too much.

10:44 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Targa: You’re welcome!

10:59 pm • Monday • October 22, 2012

@Targa: Will you marry me?

12:07 am • Tuesday • October 23, 2012

I missed the whole damned thing, but I did have the great pleasure of spending some time with Lefty in a San Francisco dive bar.

12:14 am • Tuesday • October 23, 2012

@Dodgerblue: CNN is about to replay it, if you’re feeling left out.

12:16 am • Tuesday • October 23, 2012

@Dodgerblue: Obama debated a fun-house mirror.

12:17 am • Tuesday • October 23, 2012

@Dodgerblue:
Celebrating the Gnats win? Or is that unpossible considering your loyalties?

1:49 am • Tuesday • October 23, 2012

I’m watching it now. Barry is handing Mittens his ass in a hat.

5:22 am • Tuesday • October 23, 2012

@nojo:

Bingo! You nailed it. Perfect summary of what we saw over the past three debates.

9:14 am • Tuesday • October 23, 2012

Thanks for the recap, kiddos.

@ManchuCandidate: We had a big breakthrough, when I asked him, Dodger confessed that he was rooting for Los Gigantes against the Angry Red Birds of Misery, and I don’t think he was just saying it to flatter me. The whole California/NL thing. Didn’t get to celebrate, it was at the beginning of the Giants game, before he had to go to a dinner engagement and I had to get to some work. The screaming and honking was still going strong in the pouring rain in most of Ess Eff half an hour after the game was won.

10:14 am • Tuesday • October 23, 2012

Myth Robme…i swear to god i’ll leave the country..oh, wait….
hi stinqueroonies! yes, i’m still here. thanks for the thread, it was all i could bear.

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