Hooked on Tronics

Before we begin: RIP Howard Zinn, who died earlier today.

Joe Wilson promises to behave tonight. Damn.

Black Butte Porter! Mmmm!

nojo: Also, per Keef from some wire report — there will be a pointed word or two about HCR. Something about abandoning those without insurance. Interesting. Ish.

Hour on the treadmill at home before the Speech. I’ll probably pop open a beer for the show.

redmanlaw: I got you there — an hour on the bike here in Chicago. In a snowstorm. I’m angling for a nomination for Badass of the Month.

@chicago bureau: Probably already said, but I read somewhere something about DADT.

rptrcub: That would be something.

Speaking of something — is that shade on Michelle “grape” or “eggplant?”

@rptrcub: Lip service to DADT and HCR.

Well, lip service to everything, to be honest about it.

Who’s sitting this one out for when the aliens blow up Congress?

nojo: If there is a God: the anti-immigration wing of the GOP.

(Oh. From OUTER SPACE. Sorry.)

@chicago bureau: Royal Purple.

And Morgan Freeman does the opening voice over on CBS.

Wow, all those primary colors — looks like a Star Trek movie.

rptrcub: Any wise, knowing commentary from Freeman? If not — it doesn’t count.

@nojo: Purple Reign. BTW, anyone hear that Prince song he did for the Vikings? P.U.

We represent the Lollipop Guild…

I will not watch it … the minute I hear the word “bipartisan” I will start throwing things. Someone has to tell him Olympia Snowe is never going to help.

Regarding ancient Spike Lee references: Does Boehner pass the paper-bag test?

@chicago bureau: And what a loss – he was addicted to the truth.

And, I will say it again – the Internets are fast.

ABC Stream just halted. I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.

@chicago bureau: Aubergine. George Steph on ABC just set forth his theory that Michelle and Nancy are wearing shades of purple (Nance in lilac) because the speech is aimed at the center of the country, i.e., neither red nor blue but purple. To which Diane S said “Seriously ?!?!?!?”

Should have punched Roberts in tha nuts.

Barack Obama has won the toss, and will defend the East goal. Good luck, gentlemen.

(unkeys field mike)

*game time*

@Mistress Cynica:

Stephanopolis needs to go.

My aren’t they well behaved.

Boehner looks like he is going to barph!

Moire pattern on Biden’s tie when he moves.

And the Professor gives us the history lecture.

Take that, Whig history!

Blargh. I thought I was going to sit this one out, but alas and alack. Blargh.

Can’t ….look…away…Biden’s…tie…hypnotizing…

Did nancy either yawn or pick her nose?

Nancy has a runny nose. Drink on the drip!

@JNOV:

Don’t look at the tie and you’ll be okay.

Nancy have a cold?

@redmanlaw: Are stripes less annoying in HD? Biden’s and Barry’s ties are about to give me a seizure.

@redmanlaw: I get the moire on Biden’s plugz.

Worst is past?!

WOW!
Wait till the ALT-A and all that crap resets
And then the commercial RE tsunami

BEEP!

Elkhart! It’s the greatest hits!

This sounds just like all his other speeches. Blah blah brink of depression. Blah blah we inherited this mess. Blah blah I saw people hurting here and there and everywhere. Letters! I get letters! Blargh.

I dunno, I’m kinda fond of the pettiness.

Here comes bipartisanship! Fuck that shit.

@Mistress Cynica: BHO’s tie looks like one of those red LED message boards in HD. (Mrs RML’s new tv rules.)

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Oh, Jeez! I just looked up, and I feel the impending doom aura of an epileptic seizure.

Fuck the thugs – they don’t have differences – they have FUCK YOU DIE!

They’re dedicated to one thing = YOU FUCKING DIE

Fuck ‘em, Barry!

Six minutes of platitudes, and counting.

First ovation break! Down it, motherfuckers!

FEAR DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO, DOES IT?

Tell the GOP to fuck themselves and to fucking DIE!

It’s a candy cane tie!

@redmanlaw: I switched to CNN HD briefly, but they were five seconds behind MSNBC SD. (No high-def Keef here yet.)

Unified democrats and republicans?

Fuck you, Barry!

Hey, what’s the deal with airline food? Are you with me, people?

Ha ha, the bailout! Ha. Ha. Ha.

I hated the bank bailout, but grandma would have been thrown off a cliff without it.

See Landrieu scoping the joint for pimps with pliers?

I’m digging the shit-eating grin on Plugz’s face.

@Mistress Cynica: Why won’t Shelly O let TLo or her gays help with the proportions? She always has a needlessly high waistline that’s just not flattering. I like the color, but do NOT like the fit.

How come the fucking Dutch masters up front don’t have to stand?

Freelance taxes are the same shit as always, however.

No GOPers standing up for tax cuts. Shit, dudes — that’s is your whole raison d’etre!

You cut taxes, and still all the repugs have for you is a hot lunch, Barry! You need to call these obstructionists out!

@redmanlaw: They’re freeballing.

Fuck you, Reid. GET OFF MY SET!

Who the hell in the Democratic caucus is wearing chartreuse?

Bruce the Window Dresser.

@flippin eck: I don’t know. It makes me bang my head into a wall. YES, it makes your butt look big.
@nojo: I know. Is this SOTU or an opening act in Vegas?

When is he going to knife Wall Street?

Knife ‘em, Barry!

“Business” .That got the apes going.

BE YOUR OWN BOSS
MAKE MONEY FROM HOME
CALL (202) 455-3000 NOW!!!

Why all of the love on the Rust Belt? I know that we’re fucktarded down here but damn.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Right on, TOmm!

Did he just say $30 zillion?

OMG SOCIALISM!!!!

Nojo – thre’s your tax credit!

Gun shops have his picture up with the caption “salesman of the year.” They are likin’ that small bidniss stimulus.

Capital gains? Christ.

CHOO-CHOO!

Barry, the bridges are still falling down! WHere the fuck is the first wave of civil engineering projects?

And while we’re at it, let’s cut some slack to self-employed designer/geeks!

Hello?

Damn. Daddy wants an iPad.

Half-hearted clapping from Obey on high-speed rail. Guess Wausau is getting bypassed on the Milwuakee-Minneapolis route.

@chicago bureau: Right.

Anti-grav trains with anti-grav orgy salons! Yes! Your tax dollars at work!

“I urge the Senate to do the same.” Where on Earth has this guy been?

Better get that jobs bill out or you’re gonna get a spankin!

Tax breaks, capital gains tax cuts…. ZOMBIE REGAN!!!!

You’d think he’d have less of a tan…

Is it just me or is there a considerable amount a ballyhooing tonight?

I want a jobs bill on my desk without delay, and I’d like a HC bill by Christmas. Wait.

He said “lay.”

Hot lunch for the GOP!

Deliver it, Barry!

@flippin eck: Mr Cyn was just remarking on that.

Attack, Barry!

Rip their fucking faces off!

@flippin eck: I was thinking not only the same thing but the same term. BALLYHOO!

@JNOV: “You’ll get nothing and like it!”

ADDRESS THE REAL PROBLEM BARRY!!!!!

Japan? Waiting.

America Nation Number 1!

Okay. I’m tired of this bullshit. Time to smoke and stuff.

Knife!

Rip the fucking bankers’ heads off and shit down the hole!

Enhanced hot lunch for those fuckers!

“What do you want?”
“In-for-mation.”

@Mistress Cynica: “I speak loudly and carry a small twig. And I point a lot. But I’m still hunting for my balls…”

Out of which decade did Jill Biden’s dress come from?

Nukes? NUKES???!!!

NUCLEAR?? Good God!

NUKEULAR! Okay, I’m taking to my bed.

Drill Baby Drill!

New Mexico wants your nuke waste.

Off-shore drilling?

Clean coal???

If he starts talking about ANWR, I will officially give up.

Ah… there’s cap-and-trade. Whew. I was having the spells there for a second.

Man, fuck this bullshit. This is some ridiculous shit going on here.

Take that, Inhofe.

WHere did the nukes come from?

Yeah, Talibunny will be shrieking Barry stole her line and he should be indicted or copyright infringement.

She needs an enhanced hot lunch

Let’s beat China and make shit people don’t need!

Well heck, we’re already exporting systemic financial failure.

Sit the fuck down!

Enough clapping.

Kick some bankers to death!

Knife the GOP!

Kill, Barry, Kill!

@rptrcub: No kidding.

Finally someone framed climate change properly for those who don’t understand buy the science but would prefer potable water and maybe some clean airs.

@rptrcub: Let’s create two million minimum-wage jobs!

The Trade Federation shall be quite pleased.

Now, about that elephant in the room . . .

@JNOV: Pfft. They think that sludge is mother’s milk.

BARRY, the Americans don’t make shit anymore – except porn and apocalypse!

Panama and Columbia get a slice. Sorry, Chile.

Bill Clinton wrote this speech. Book it.

I believe the childrens are our future….

Repeal that NCLB, please.

There’s a lot of backhanded slaps to the Senate going on here.

There’s a lot of munnie being thrown around at the beginning of this spending freeze. Noted.

Pell grants! That’s how I did it!!!

Debts forgiven after 20 years is SOCIALISM!!!!!

@redmanlaw: Heavily subsidized state university. Alas, state university no longer heavily subsidized.

Well, that only took 43 minutes.

Here we go with the HCR bit.

It’s the elephant.

Zombie Regan make joke.

Say it fuckface!

Rescission is Manslaughter!

Fat kids?

Michelle, yummy

Tight.smile.Michelle.

Shelly O: America’s drill sergeant momma on the global war on the sugars.

It will give the Republican Party a chance to call you a nazi and pass around racist e-mails!

“She gets embarrassed.”

SEXIST!

@nojo: That, too.

She’d be much more impressive with her tongue in Elizabeth Kucinich’s mouth.

YAY!

FUCKING DO SOMETHING ASSHOLES!

Ooh. Love that GOP ad material there.

Debbie!

Can you call it “throwing down the gauntlet” when a dixie cup is in the air?

…Let me know! Or, alternately, you can just do nothing and the fucking bill won’t pass anyway!

Is he..is he… calling the motherfuckers out? No way…

It was broken when I got here.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: “you fuckwads gave me a shitpile, motherfuckers.”

Oooooohhh! Overhead shot! Who’s up for pool?

AAH! Roof shot. I’m dizzy!

Above the rim cam = fail.

Nancy in heated conversation with Plugz there. I saw that.

@redmanlaw: No shit. Did someone think that was gonna be a good idea?

Blue-ribbon commission, y’all! You getting excited yet? If not, check your pulse — you may be dead!

Is it just me, or is Nancy’s Botox wearing off?

This is a canny speech. Full of populist dog whistles.

@nojo:

She’s having trouble with her dentures.

Ah! The freeze takes place next year.

And he gets schoolmarmy there. Nice.

Wow — I laughed at “until next year,” and then noticed everybody else was laughing.

“That’s what we did for eight years”.

Nice.

A sarcastic POTUS–heady!

We really, really need a house band in there.

@nojo: Major embarrassment.

Was Alito saying something under his breath?

Oo-oooooo-oooh! Take that, Mr. Chief Justice.

Wow. Everybody stood up but the Supremes.

STOMP HIS FACE, BARRY!

Time for a nice long Ballantine Ale piss on Roberts’ face

God — this is the fifth call for bipartisanship. YUCK.

I did like that blast at the S.Ct.

Mr. Cub is following the White House Live facebook page where commenters are posting comments on a page where they’ve been warned that all of their comments are going into the National Archives. So it’s official: “Did Obama just tell Congress to kiss his black ass?” is now in government records for the ages.

End the hold!

Fuck, they must fucking DIE, Barry!

They are not fucking HUMAN BEINGS, BARRY!

IT”S THE FUCKING CREATURE FROM ALIEN!

IT MUST BE FUCKING INCINERATEd, ARRY@

DIE

He wants to fucking slug McConnell. You can see it in his face.

@chicago bureau: I’d like his calls for bipartisanship more if he’d call out the cretins by name.

“…not run for the hills.” Boom! Roasted!

Barry to the Dems: “GROW A FUCKING BACKBONE.”

TELL THEM TO FUCKING DIE, BARRY!

SPANK!

@nojo: Okay, that was close on the cretins.

Go for it, Barry!

Rip out McConnell’s spine and beat him to death with it!

Bombs, bombs will keep us together.

Black Eagle or The Geezer. Quien es mas macho?

Let’s leave the GOP at a freight transfer stage in the Port of Miami and ship the fuckers to Gitmo.

*ehem* Gitmo

Al-Quida spiders? From Mars?

Training Afghan troops. That’s a shell game if I ever saw one. And I have.

The joint chiefs want to kill him. You can see the seething hatred in their faces.

Looks like Beesco is headed for Eye-rok, go monitor some elections.

Aid to vets – first time the military gets up.

I thought he said 21st century V-8. Cool!

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: I think you’re right about the dentures. Good god, woman, quit contorting your face and touching your mouth!

“Growing consequences” for Iran. Saddle up!

@flippin eck: Her wooden teeth are the finest mahogany.

And that’s the hour mark.

@flippin eck: She keeps reminding me of what I think was Snoopy’s vulture impression.

@flippin eck: I think her osteoporosis drug might have damaged her jaw.

I’m noticing that there is a hard core element of Republitards who remain seated even when the “America No 1″ stuff is being spouted out.

The Const. does not say we’re all created equal, dumbass.

Uh oh, here come the gheys.

E pluribus unum, bitchez.

And he calls time on DADT!

There you go, fags. Now shut the fuck up.

REPEALING DODT! Throwing a bone to teh gheyz. What about that DOMA brief, asshole?

@rptrcub: They just want him dead. And the demrats on a barge to be sent out and sunk at sea.

Well, good on you Barry. Now go sign the order and let those solders out of the closet.

Immigrants?
*ahem*

JNOV: Shoot. If you thought HCR was a donnybrook, just watch what happens when teh gheys are given free entry into the military. (Stupid, yes. But you know it’s coming.)

The media has honorable men and women? Not in the news rooms I ever worked in.

Lost faith?

Barry, they’ve devolved into toxic waste generating doomsday machines.

What the fuck do you expect?

Cynicism?

@chicago bureau: But of course, the true victims will be the Xtians, because we’re so mean and we’ll protest them at their businesses a la post Prop 8.

Barry admits he’s not Superman. Noble of him.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: But it’s a law, and he can’t sign away a law, nor can he decide not to enforce a law, nor can he invoke a stop-loss provision that overrides a law, and—

Hold on.

Why did they mike the potium surface? I keep getting distracted by the thump of him repeatedly dropping his hands on its surface.

Turning it off.

Barry, rip their fucking legs off and beat them to death with the wet ends.

That’s al they understand.

Cue “Love is a Battlefield.”

Aaaaaand, scene.

So, wait — did he not say, “The state of our union is strong”?

@chicago bureau: Yepper. Did he say it was going to be an executive order?

Hey! I think I just saw the Salahis!

@JNOV: Not that I heard — and I was wondering how he’d finesse that line. If it comes at all, it comes at the start.

No beers, just water here. Had green chili stew and japaleno and cheddar corn bread.

Keef: Two masters were being served in this speech . . .

@nojo: Right. And he ended by saying “Let’s strengthen our union.” or some such. So at least he’s not trying to fill our assholes with smoke, just 3/4 of the way.

@redmanlaw: I heard that, but the nuances didn’t register. And after Keef has spent the past week railing against “earthquake” as a political metaphor…

Tweety of the Day: “I forgot he was Black tonight for an hour.”

I forgot he was black tonight – Tweety

WTF, Tweety?

Oooooo…Tosh.0 is about to come on. Guess I’ll miss that Republican response. Darn.

Here comes the Republitard response…

The Republican Response was recorded before a studio audience.

OMG there are black people in the background!

Oh, so cute that McDonnell has his own lil SOTU crowd!

Looking away from Dixieland now.

@rptrcub: But what about the foreground? I’m waiting for another crowd shot for a a complexion count.

How does ending “frivolous law suits” really lower the cost of health care?

The GOP will drill in Chesapeake Bay. Get ready, America!

@rptrcub: I think the number is 1 percent, but I’d have to double-check.

rptrcub: By electing Republicans, silly!

How about better-funded school choices? Anybody?

Dazzling. Both speech and performance. Got tired for last 8 mins but rose to slam the end out of the house. Loved the shaming of the supreme court. LOVED IT.

Maybe 10 mins too long but cutting is hard and you can’t expect mere Harvard grads to have the discipline.

I thought the proportion and content were remarkable. Anyone pick up right at the beginning where he made a moral equivalence of Bull Run and Omaha Beach? ie: the South were the Nazis.

@JNOV: Love Tosh.

But is she available?

Americans giving a shit about Detroit. That’s new.

“But as Senator-elect Happytrail says…”

But seriously, folks — let’s go ahead and ban gay people.

Thufferin’ Thuccotafh!

(Sorry, can’t find the fancy f.)

And he has to bring in Jeebus.

@rptrcub: I thought “to whom much is given, much is required” was a lead-in to workfare.

CBS instapoll gives it to Barry, I guess.

I missed the last part of Republitard’s response because Mr. Cub was showing the White House live stream on his computer — they were talking about and making excuses for DADT.

@FlyingChainSaw: Ballantine stopped making their old India Pale Ale, one of the only decent Amurrican beers, back in the 70s.

I think he did something great, and he did it a lot, he would say something no sane person could disagree with, like “we have to stop rewarding companies that move jobs overseas, and start rewarding companies that keep them here,” and the democrats stand up and cheer, and the republipigfuckers sit on their hands and Boner scowls like he is holding in diarhea. I saw it 10 times, he said things that even teabaggers would have to agree with, and the republicans make faces like he farted. Its a little subtle, but not too subtle, I think, it was pretty obvious.

And hey, the doc today gave me a prescription for fucking morphine, of all things. Yay, I am thinking, I will have some pain relief, now.

@Benedick: Is it because you are a Brit that you alone seem to appreciate that he is, technically, from the perspective we lawyers call “forensic skill,” an amazingly good performer, the best we US amurricans have had since Bill Clinton, and way better than him? He can fucking give a speach, the bar has been lowered on that, way too low.

@Promnight: If I had any faith in his ability to follow through, I would have paid closer attention to what he said. But this year I’m only scoring results.

Hey, can anyone direct me to where this is on the toobs? If nothing else I’d like to see him dis C.J. Roberts. Today was an all-around day from hell, which began and ended with disastrous mass transit experiences. During Barry’s speech I was stuck in a BART station in Oakland for over half an hour waiting for inexplicably delayed trains to the city while some dumbass hipster played A FUCKING ACCORDION AND YODELED for money and I nearly threw his scrawny white ass on the electrified third rail. We almost had a race riot about a minute before the train pulled in when a bunch of young black men with their pants on the floor decided to confront said hipster about his “punk ass retard music” and told him if he didn’t shut the fuck up and put the accordion away they would shove it up his ass. Scattered applause across the platform then ensued.

@nojo: I missed the speech, but just let me say this: “clean coal” is like “happy cancer.”

@Dodgerblue: That whole energy riff was a thing to behold: nukes, clean coal, offshore drilling…

Of course, Barack “I’m not handing off our problems to the next generation” Obama didn’t mention what to do with all that nuclear waste.

Barry emails: “Can you help fuel our fight for the middle class with a monthly donation of $15 or more?”

Where’s my Chainsaw laugh track? Ah.

Ha.

Haha.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

@SanFranLefty: That sounds pretty awesome, actually. Certainly more exciting than my CTA train that lost all power one stop from mine on the way home tonight, and when they finally gave up on trying to revive it and told us to bail in favor of the bus, I turned around and HF was in the same car! Granted, we both live within a few blocks of this particular station so it’s not that unusual, but it was still a little slice of happy coincidence for me today.

@Promnight: Maybe but Falstaff Brewing is shipping the stuff as far west as Iowa. You can get in draft in some places. I wouldn’t waste it to piss on Boner. I’d get me a nice ‘spac of Heffenreffer.

@flippin eck: Maybe mine was more exciting, but I’d much rather run into HF randomly on the CTA than some hipster playing accordion. Running in to HF on the train would be the highlight of my day! That’s an infinitely multitude better on the awesomeness scale than an accordion, not to mention that I am so jealous of you that you have such a great Chicago Stinque chapter. I need to work on my Bay Area chapter. I think Chicago and El Ay are leading in terms of number and sheer awesomeness, followed by the greater Philly or Seattle region, depending how wide a circle you draw.

And Serena wins!!

Noooooooooooooo!

@FlyingChainSaw: For pissing on Boehner, Hmm, Red, White, and Blue? Or maybe, some vintage ABC Generic? Budweiser?

Tweety realizes his “black” comment was incredibly stupid, tries to explain it at length: Obama’s race wasn’t an issue tonight.

@Promnight: I’m not wasting anything more expensive than Pabst on Boehner.

@Promnight: Too light and I can’t gag down Bud. Heffenreffer is reasonably priced and I think may come in big bottles that would be fun break over Boner’s head.

Just for drankin’, I had some of this Jubelale from the Deschutes Brewery of Bend, Orygun that my neighbor brought over at Christmas. Had it with stove popped popcorn I made up for Mrs RML to snack on for the gasbag post-game show. I made awful sounds on my guitar through headphones and a leedle amp box instead of watching those assholes.

i couldn’t watch kids. i was feeling calm and happy, and didn’t want to turn purple with frustration and start throwing shit at the tv.
i’m catching up on dexter, now there’s a man who knows how to get things done.

@Promnight:

morphine? MORPHINE??????

fed ex to:
me
silly creek estates
providenciales
turks and caicos islands
brittish west indies

was rahm there?
what the fuck has he been doing. this highly touted head banger?
have you noticed he has teh crazee eyes?
really, where is he and what is he doing.

@SanFranLefty: Back at you baby!

@SanFranLefty: It was nice to see you, however annoying the situation was. I did make it to my concert, although missed all of the SOTU fun…