Tits & Armageddon

Embiggened Love.From the folks who brought you the Mormon stud calendar (now in its third edition), comes Hot Mormon Muffins:

The women featured in the calendar range in age from 26 to 53. Some have as many as four children. Several are stay-at-home moms, while others are students, real estate agents, cosmetologists and dance instructors. One is a former Miss Utah and another is a breast cancer survivor, according to biographies on the calendar Web site.

There’s also a series of cheesecake videos on their website, including tips on how to “Prepare Your Muffins for Latter-day Disasters” and “Resurrect Your Muffins”. We’d post one here, but the timing is, shall we say, a little flat.

Calendar pokes fun at Mormon mom stereotype [AP/AZcentral, via RML]
34 Comments

may I nominate that for headline of the week?

‘Stud’ and ‘Mormon’. There are two words I never thought I’d see in the same sentence. Like ‘sexy’ and ‘Limey’. Or ‘sane’ and ‘Republican.’

@Benedick:
are your dogs happier with my new face?

I’m sure that Larry David and HBO are responsible for this.

I am confused … Mormon hotties? No fair.

@Capt Howdy: The dachshund won’t come out from under the bed.

Favorite quote from the piece:

“The pictures are tasteful, and it’s fun. I don’t see why people can’t have a sense of humor,” she said. “I just don’t think it’s a big deal.”

Is she aware what church she belongs to? They’re not exactly known for their sense of humor…

My 10th grade biology was a Mormon. He told us about how half the women he knew died within six months of smoking their first cigarette or taking their first birth control pill. He also had the habit of sticking a ruler down the front of his pants.

Chad Hardy (the calendar guy who was excommunicated, AKA recipient of a Court of Love, and to whom BYU refused to confer his degree) is getting a bunch of hate mail.

You guys are freaking idiots. You obviously don’t know JACK about “mormons”.

Wow you guys are a joke. You call yourselves mormons? I’m 22 and i wouldn’t even dress like that. You look like trashy old moms. gross. If you don’t follow the mormon standards don’t taint that trashy calendar with the name just to get attention.

So you’re mad because your gay and the church excommunicated you for gay relations? I bet that’s the real reason. I mean who would lose membership in the church to publish a calendar of a bunch of ugly scrubs anyway?

You absolutley do not deserve your degree and how pathetic that you woudl still want it.

What you say this calendar represents is a lie. Do not justify your wrong choices. You need to repent, stop listening to the counsel of the world, stop trying to counsel yourselves, and listen and follow the counsel of the Savior. I know He wouldn’t say that this is ‘no big deal.’ The creators of this calendar and this website are acting like wolves in sheep’s clothing.

I am offended. You guys are sick!

this is a horrible site!! you sell awful stuff that are about sacred things all for money. i wouldn’t want to explain this to my maker in the life to come. God bless but i hope this site fails.

As a convert to the LDS church, return missionary and mother, I give you my very individual and open minded comment . . . “you need to figure out your issues because they are much deeper than just an agenda to “open minds”. The reason you lost your membership and degree were because your actions do not support the Latter-Day Saint values.How dare you use that platform toadvance your own designs.

so sad. i feel so sorry for chad hardy. one day you will hopefully wake up
and realize what a grasp satan has on your twisted mind.

Gross. I feel embarrassed for your family…

Why dont you find something better to do with your time. Abviously you dont have anything better to do, then to break something good, instead of
creating your own good. Your a disgrace and i am glad they x you. You
deserved it and the deploma should have been taken long before that. Why
did you choose to go to a mormon school when you’re gay. Go hang with gay people and start a gay church. You can call it “I have AIDS”. No in all
seriousness I am not a mormon but i think it absolutely rediculus you are
trying to make soft porn popular by using the churchs name, to get
headlines. You’re a disgrace to the so called 6 generations of mormon who
came before you. My advice go build your own greatness dont break others. It shows you have nothing going on for yourself and that your full of pride and hate. Most gay people have all the hate but accuse everyone else of having it. SO get over trying ot make healines and do something with your life.

Oh wow. You’re so brave. How does you betraying your faith and the promises you made to God and yourself make you a noble person. What you label as intolerance on the part of the Church, is actually God’s unwilling to accept sin. It has nothing to do with hate, but rather a refusal to defile that which is holy.

Your calender is a joke. you’re a nutt job. The whole project is a disgrace. Go find a project that is worth while to spend your time.

Why are you so dumb? You are a right dumb ass, you were not doing good things and you were asked to stop and then when you get a reaction you dont like it, just grown up!

@Jesuswalksinidaho: I trust he was using that instrument, and I mean the ruler as God intended, as a measuring tool.

@JNOV: Abviously, these nattering nabobs of negativism have no appreciation of God’s grace as bestowed upon the pristine muscular bodies of calendar boys. Their loss.

What’s the three-word plot line for every Michael Bay flick?

@Pedonator: I thought it was Blow Shit Up, but that’s just a nuance.

And while we’re on the subject of summer blockbusters now available on Netflix, I heartily agree with RML’s recommendation of Wolverine.

(NB to Benedick: It has a plot.)

@nojo: Yes, you’re right, it was Blow Shit Up. My bad!

(BTW, what does NB mean?)

@Pedonator: Nota Bene, or “note well”. Common affliction of the Footnote Classes.

@nojo: I hark from and bespeak of the Footnote Classes.

So, NB, or Nota Bene, or “note well”: make no mistake?

@Pedonator: It’s a wink-wink in the fine print: Pay attention to this, sucka.

@nojo: It may have a plot. I’m sure it has a ton of plot, but does it have a story?

@Pedonator: Not quite. It means ‘Look at this’ or ‘pay attention to this because you could overlook it’. I’m from the pretentious classes.

@Jesuswalksinidaho:
a few years ago my cousin married a mormon. his mother, my aunt, was not happy but what could she do. flash forward a few years and they have a teenaged son who makes the unforgivable mistake of acting like a, you know, teenager. everyone liked this kid. in fact he sort of reminded me of me at that age.
one morning very early a van showed up at the house and a couple of big guys took Marc from his bed directly to a “camp”.
my aunt was distraught. she tried everything including getting the police involved but turns out she could do nothing. Marc was gone for a few months and when he returned he was, quite literally, a different person.
it was one of the more painful moments of family history for me and my aunt and everyone who loved Marc.
so fair warning. dont bullshit me about mormons. I know who they are and what they do.

@Capt Howdy: The camp with the difference. Never mind the weather, the holiday’s forever.

@redmanlaw:
yeah
I think the difference with that camp is that they produce children with no differences

@Capt Howdy: Did it – has it – lasted? Is it permanent?

@Benedick:

it seems so.
its been years and he has grown up and joined the church whole hog. which he was not expected to do before.

@Capt Howdy: In my experience, gay men who grew up Mormon are the most damaged and have had the toughest time.

@nojo: N.B. “I say unto you” or “I tell you this.” I’m tellin’ ya.

@Prommie: So would “Truly, truly, I say unto you” be a JCNB?

@Benedick: Yes. Evergreen is a fucking nightmare.

@flippin eck: heh heh. Put it to music and it would be a JCSSNB.

@Benedick: Yes, Wolverine has a story. Which comes across crystal-clear, especially after watching Transformers.

@nojo:
I liked Wolverine. I wish they had spent more time on the mutant concentration camp but I liked it.

two other notes for story and horror fans.
first, last night HDNET did one those preview things they have been doing where they show a film the day before it goes into theaters. last night it was House of the Devil. I didnt know much about it but I got sucked in and liked it a lot. old fashioned horror movie. I checked on rottentomatoes today and it is in the 80’s which is surprisingly high for that type of movie.
so while I would not necessarily say see it in a theater, although you could do worse, it would be a great netflix pick.
second, Let the Right One In. if you have not seen the film nexflix it at once. but, I just almost finished the book over my sushi at lunch and OMG. it is sooooo much better than the movie. usually the case but here in spades. I guess the reason at least in part is that a lot of the abject horror in the book is derived from pedophilia and weird children.
(meaning they simply could not do it in the film)
but I highly recommend it.

@Original Andrew:
What’s the three-word plot line for every Michael Bay flick?

Michael Bay flick would work I think

@Benedick: This video has “mormon” and “porn” together in a single video. http://www.newsy.com/videos/calendar_puts_mormons_in_hot_water. I’m just amused how some people regard this as porn.

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