Bulwer-Lytton
It’s Bulwer-Lytton time. Why do I always first head for “Vile Puns”?
Using her flint knife to gut the two amphibians, Kreega the Neanderthal woman created the first pair of open-toad sandals.
Greg Homer
Placerville, CA
Also excellent:
Their relationship hit a bump in the road, not the low, graceful kind of bump, reminiscent of a child’s choo choo train-themed roller coaster, rather the kind of tall, narrow speed-bump that, if a school bus ran over it, would cause even a fat kid to fly up and bang his head on the ceiling.
Michael Reade
Durham, NCThe Cunard “Carinthia” glided through the starry waters of the Bering Sea, 843 passengers aboard, including Harriet Dobbs, resignedly single for over a decade, while a nautical mile due west slunk the K-18 submarine, under the command of lonely Ukrainian Captain First Rank Nikolai Shevchenko: ships that passed in the night (although the second technically a boat).
Dr. Sarah Cockram
Edinburgh, U.K.Towards the dragon’s lair the fellowship marched — a noble human prince, a fair elf, a surly dwarf, and a disheveled copyright attorney who was frantically trying to find a way to differentiate this story from “Lord of the Rings.”
Andrew Manoske
Foster City, CA





1:30 pm • Tuesday • June 30, 2009
Speaking of literature, is it wrong that I’m reading The Death of Ivan Ilych while the conference call from hell drones on for a couple hours?