The Superbowl, and Schadenfreude Too

“…overgenerous endowment in my chestal area…”

No wonder the venture went belly-up. Not only are they wingnuts, they’re all awful writers. I mean, I’m getting into a frothing rage over the imaginary word “chestal” and the poseurrific sentence structure used in lieu of the simple, “I’ve got big breasts.”

And they call us elitists.

It’s Superbowl weekend? Looks like it’s gonna be another gay sausagefest at my gym.

@Signal to Noise: I’m looking for a picture of the chichis in question – and since when did a large chest look bad on TV? She’s delusional, and not only for that reason.

@Original Andrew:　something for everyone.

Will add chichi-less photo of Anchoress person (Eliz. Scalia) above – I believe we refer to that as a “face made for radio”.

She is not on TV because she is stupider than TV news people and has a face like a mile of bad road. A chick with what looks like a manchu moustache would not go over big either. If she cared about PJM and indeed had glorious mammaries, she would have given video news reports in the nude while squeezing them. If that failed, she could have tattooed swastikas on them and done video readings of Mein Kamf. PJM died as much for its lack of imagination as for its fascism.

How will Joe the Plumber, Meat Puppet, Journalist Unemployed Bum get home?

@FlyingChainSaw:
Now that I take a good look at the pic, she’s got a thicker mustache than I do!!!!

PW is shutting down because the ads dried up? Wimp. We’ve got paper revenues of $100 or so (although nothing has crossed the transom yet), and you don’t see us whining.

@ManchuCandidate: From the brief moment I can stand looking into this, apparently Joe is the cause of Pajamas Media shutting down.

PJ Media appears to be a blog-ad network, which is why all those wingers are in on the game. PJTV is a separate venture, which will continue under some subscription model. The owner has been losing money on the ad network, so he’s pulling the plug on that to focus on video.

Whether that’s a smart business call is up to him. But notice the whining up and down the page at Protein Wisdom — as if PJ Panjandrum is an evil dude who’s growing his empire on the backs of hapless bloggers, as if he owes them something beyond the contracted payments.

Hey gang, that’s capitalism. How quickly the wingnuts forget their principles in a pinch.

@nojo: Sackless bags of shit can’t take it. I wonder if the incredibly stupid idea of road tripping Joe the Palin Campaign’s Pet Seat Sniffer bankrupted the enterprise. The twit was beyond embarrassing. You were just hoping he’d be kidnapped, by anyone, and dismembered. You might as well have entered a shit-covered legless dog in a greyhound race.

Sorry guys, I gotta defend The Anchoress, who in spite of being in possession of batshit pro-Bush ideals, showed herself to be a gracious class act when she lost the Weblog Award to DG. Anchoress? Come in out of the whacky winger cold to the warmth of the Left side: zaftig (look it up) women like us are just considered sexy and teh hawt on the liberal blogs. You can even bring your Christianity, but leave the anti-stem cell, pro-abstinence crazy by the stoop.

Bring a thesaurus, too. Your writing isn’t up to your audience size, but with practice…

And Pajamas Media? Don’t let the door hitja.

(And commenters, that’s how you do it. With all due respect, we’re better than fat chick and cheetos jokes in Leftsylvania.)

I have no idea what the hell any of this means, and bloggie, I think you have a typo in your story (“on TV” and not “one TV”).

@bluegalsblog@gmail.com: We are? Um. OK.

@nojo: We have one thing they don’t … real jobs.
@bluegalsblog@gmail.com: You are teh hot – I have never denied it. But you can have my Cheetos jokes when you pry them from from cold, dead, arugula-smelling hands.

@SanFranLefty: Thanks for catching that – I am always willing to be edited.

@bluegalsblog@gmail.com: “With all due respect, we’re better than fat chick and cheetos jokes in Leftsylvania.”

I submit we’re better than a million stupid “You might be a redneck” jokes and mean-spirited racial and gay and anti-foreign (think France) jokes. Fat chick and cheetos jokes on the other hand are the very foundation of liberal humor.

@bluegalsblog@gmail.com: Congratulations due for inspiring a new meme in our corner of the tubez. However…

showed herself to be a gracious class act when she lost the Weblog Award to DG

Anything beyond wry amusement at click-me votes, win or lose, is immediately suspect. You’re saying she took them seriously enough to require a gracious concession?

@nojo: IMHO weblog award nominees should be able to post once – saying: “I’m up for this – please vote.” When you get into that “X is only 300 votes behind Y and we’ve got to head over there and make sure an asshole doesn’t win,” the magic is lost. I admit, of course, that I have on occasion headed over there to make sure an asshole didn’t win.

@blogenfreude: Sully was certainly flogging the hell out of his nomination, but he wasn’t quite taking it seriously. And I have no problem milking it for publicity and amusement, mounting a dirty-tricks campaign against other nominees, or performing an over-the-top display of anguish upon losing.

But this pretense that it means something — geez, I thought these folks fancied themselves realists.

Can we talk about lava again? I don’t understand this inside baseball (inside blogging?) conversation…

Oh, and Cheney still hasn’t shown up for his Crystal Shoe. The dudes from the Dutch consulate who were hiding in the bushes to haul him to The Hague finally gave up and went home.

@bluegalsblog@gmail.com: Thanks for the commenting tips, gal. Do you publish a style manual on your blog?

As for cheetos, I prefer stain free.

@nojo: Feel free to disagree with me, but I have a feeling that if you were voted best LGBT blog, or best Comedy blog, or best Anything blog, your traffic wouldn’t change perceptibly.

Wasn’t Joe the Plumber a PJ Media Implant overseas? Think he’s going to have to whore his way home?

@blogenfreude: You’re probably right — it would be more a reflection of existing traffic than draw in new readers. But for pure shtick, a nomination would be fun to play.

@blogenfreude: No shit. We could give ourselves a Pulthishere Prize for Most Obscene Raving in an Electronic Format. Who’d care. We could give ourselves a Pulitzer Prize for Blogging (no such thing), issue a press release and wait to get sued to see if we kick up more traffic.

@nojo: Still, I’d rather spend my time on subject-verb agreement and punctuation patrol than whoring for an award. And yes – you should jump in and make my sentences better whenever necessary.

@nabisco: I prefer Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. I was so happy when Frito-Lay started selling them outside of south Texas.

I think I’ll have to support the Red Bird team. They have an ex-AFL (Australian Rules) player as their punter.

And do they really make stain free cheetos? Does that mean I can wear white again?

I’ll be pulling for the Steelers because I find AZ’s jeebus-freak proselytizing QB so annoying.

@Mistress Cynica: Egg-zactly.

@nojo: He was just honest about what winning the award might mean — a slight bump in ad revenue for Atlantic Online, nothing more.

@Mistress Cynica: As usual, I am completely without any emotional involvement in the Superbowl. I lean towards the Cardinals, simply because they have been such sad sacks for so long, and I generally root for underdogs. But on the other hand, my 8 year old son, he is so completely into it, and has become a massive steelers fan, my house is covered with Steelers posters he has made, he has been wearing his Roethlisberger jersey for 2 weeks now, and how can I possibly root against my son’s team?

Here is some real fun. We have had my son enrolled in the athletic programs, and the summer day camp, at this great catholic church-run athletic complex here, he has been in swimming, basketball, and the summer camp, and every saturday morning I go to watch his basketball games in the winter.

Well, the center has a big fundraiser every winter for the high school swim team, its a “polar bear” swim, people sign up to go into the ocean, it happens tomorrow at noon. He so wanted to do it, so this morning, during his basketball game, I signed him up, made the donation, tomorrow at noon, my 8 year old intends to swim in the Atlantic ocean. The temperature right now is 25 degrees. Tomorrow is gonna be the warmest day in a while, expected to get into the 40s. The swim is no the ocean beach of the barrier island, there is a salt water bay on the back of the island, we live on a lagoon connected to the bay, its salt water, and the bay is frozen over. Ocean water temps are around 40%.

He has no idea what he is getting into. But I am proud of his ambition, and he will be the youngest “swimmer,” and if he makes it in even to his ankles, I will be so proud of him. Not being insane, I did not sign up myself, but I fully expect to be up to my waist in the North Atlantic tomorrow at noon, with him, and I am scared.

I don’t understand almost anything in this post, or the comments. Since when did Cheetos become an acceptable thing to put in your mouth?

@Pedonator: Surely you know that the libtard humor meme for the last 3 months has been to describe right wing retards as “sitting in mom’s basement, their dicks stained orange from masturbating to internet porn while eating cheetos. I think it originated on wonkette as a description of the Paultards.

@Promnight: Somehow I missed that meme. But it is so appropriate.

Does that mean my fellow left-wing retards have dicks stained green from masturbating to internet porn while eating organic kettle chips drizzled with truffle oil and chive puree? Just looking for some company here.

OK. After re-reading, and re-reading, and re-reading everything above, I gather there is some kind of sport extravaganza going on tomorrow. And also that an Enemy blogging network has been vanquished (though this particular Enemy wasn’t even on my radar).

Is it too late to start a letter-writing campaign demanding a Bollywood-style dance number for half-time entertainment?

@Promnight: Is it too late for me to sponsor Prom Jr. to go in the cold water past his ankles to raise money for the community center? Because you know Auntie SFL would be good for 20 bucks for this endeavor. And I am like you – I have no horse in this race and I want to cheer for Arizona because they are underdogs, and then you tell us about your son and of course I want to cheer for the Steelers because I want Prom Jr. to be so damn happy.

So bottom line is I don’t give a shit. (Though I’m sucker for 8 year old kids, so unless Jamie can give me a heart-wrenching Cardinals story, I’m going to go for the Steelers for Prom Jr.’s sake).

@Pedonator:

Mmm, truffles and chives.

Yes.

Halftime is gonna be BRUUUUUCCCCee. He is gonna sing about male menopause, its the subject of his new album. Its kinda nice, he is gonna get old with us, his fans. Most aging pop stars really spend the rest of their life trying to be 18 forever, and keep their audience by constantly harking back to the time we were all 18. Its kinda interesting, to think, a pop star might start writing songs about his prostate.

Look at poor Dylan, he never figured out how to grow old in front of his audience. I think he settled on a preference for being perceived of as “crazy” rather than “old.”

@Promnight:

Mr. SFL went on the betting sites in Vegas to gamble/figure out BRUUUUCE’s play list. He has big odds going that “Born in the USA” will NOT be played.

@Pedonator: “Is it too late to start a letter-writing campaign demanding a Bollywood-style dance number for half-time entertainment?” I would pay money to see it.

@SanFranLefty: And how can you not root for a team with someone named Roethlisberger on it? Sounds like a ninteenth-century German philosopher. The name alone assures that, if I happen to tune in whilst cooking up Sunday Supper, I’ll root for the team That One’s on.

And in the service of food porn, Sunday Supper will be:

Mashed turnips/fingerling potatoes/roasted garlic, with a sautee of collard greens, kale and cippolini onions on top, drizzled with pumpkin-seed oil and balsamic reduction

Fava beans in tomato-parsley sauce

Salad of avocado/mandarin/black olive/green onion/baby lettuce with honey-truffle-mustard vinaigrette

@Pedonator: Hell, I wanna have dinner at your house! I’m facing the prospect of vegetarian baked beans straight from the can.

@Benedick: homage de vous

I’d pay-per-view it, especially if they could incorporate the players in their tight uniforms, bedazzled beyond the limits of taste and utility of course.

@Promnight: Your son gives me another good reason to pull for the Steelers. Confession time: I can’t stand Springsteen, and have long considered him the most overrated musician of our time. But then I’m not much of a music person.

@Pedonator: I’m interested that they don’t seem to be able to produce working buttons for shirts. You’d think the wardrobe department would be able to manage to work something out. As it is, as soon as those poor chaps start dancing their clothes fly open.

@Benedick: They’re just happy to see you (seeing them).

@Mistress Cynica: I’m with you there on that. Although a lot of music touches me very deeply, I just never understood that that whole Springsteen thing was all about. At least it’s not Up With People or some country dogshit.

Had to help Mrs RML’s cousin move her new $1700, 50 in TV to her house today. Eternal fate of a guy with a truck. Also put up a few signs for the local school bond election on Tuesday and picked up at few supplies and some great tips at the gun shop. We didn’t get any party invitations, Mrs RML doesn’t want to throw one, so we’ll just make burgers and have the game on. I’ll probably do a little work and ride herd on the boy, who has a couple of essays due on Monday.

You moved a 50″ TV for someone and she didn’t invite you to watch the Super Bowl on it? Was she raised by wolves?

Re: A box of wine, a bag of Cheetos, and thou.
NPR–always happy to live up to stereotype–has advice on what wine to pair with your nachos, wings, and chili for the big game. Because god forbid you should have to drink beer. Quelle horreur!

@Mistress Cynica: (A) None was extended, nor would I have accepted. (B) Yes.

@Mistress Cynica: I find that a Yamhill County Vineyards 2006 Pinot Noir Estate cut with Gatorade does the trick.

@Mistress Cynica: That is exactly why I continue to value NPR as my primary news source. Investigative journalism at its best!

Also I can’t wait for the Terry Gross interview of Roethlisberger. He will wax supreme about the existentialism of the gridiron and I bet I’ll be able to smell his armpits over the radio.

Call me nostalgic, but I just can’t get me enough of that sweet Fresh Air.

@Mistress Cynica: “Was she raised by wolves?” Very good.

Back in the days when I cared enough about food to actually think about it and cook it — now I merely have opinions — I would have served champagne with chili. I would, of course, have chopped the meat fine because grinding forces out the juices, don’tcha know. When I went through my phase of trying produce an acceptable curry I always served champagne. Beer comes a distant second. This affectation on my part came from reading Tender is the Night when I was young and impressionable. Dick Diver orders champagne with curry as they picnic on a beach. Which is known, I believe, as glamor.

@redmanlaw: “A guy with a truck.” God, I wish I had a truck! I most likely wouldn’t do useful things with it like you do. I’d just put stuff in the back and drive around. When I was at Lowe’s and the clerk asked me, “Do you have a truck?” I could say, “Yes, I have a truck. It’s outside.” It would be so awesome.

@Pedonator: Terry Gross. As if. All right, she can be OK sometimes. My favorite interview I ever heard was when she took on Uta Hagen who had just published a book on acting. Ms. Gross got that insidery tone in her voice and asked Ms. Hagen to explain her ‘craft’. Hagen said, “No, I won’t talk to you about acting. You don’t care about acting. You just want to gossip. And I won’t do that.” Gross was literally speechless. Just making noises. And it went on from there. Of course, one might stop and ask, “Then what the hell are you doing on Fresh Air, bitch”? But while it lasted it was golden. I keep hoping they’ll repeat it.

Oh noes, now I have to join the party here at Stinque because you people are well, smart and interesting and snarky and stuff. Plus, I know Blogenfreude, who knows I am teh hot and is exactly right at 6:16 PM. Nothing about awards shows is important BUT I’m still delighted that Driftglass won over the “Bush is right on Gitmo” Pajamas Media blogger. We needed to do that.

It’s a lovely party over here and the white cheetos are delish.

@Pedonator: Fresh Air — made in Philly. Huzzah!

@Blue Gal: We are the bastard spawn of Wonkette. We have opinions about everything from cars to hideous musicians.. We have no shame. We also have no net worth, so there’s no point in a defamation suit.

@Promnight: I’m the only person in the Mid Atlantic that doesn’t have an ear for The Boss. I like him well enough as a person, but I never got into his music, and I’m afraid someone is going to revoke my Philly citizenship if word ever gets out that I’m just not that into him.

Buuuuut — your comment about growing old with grace and (horrors!) even discussing it is spot on. Who is that fool on Rock of Love? Botoxed to the max, has some weird hair weave going on under his bandanna, a spray-on tan, and a fucking TV show! WTF? Go back to Poison and making your old crappy music AND GET OFF MY TV! Sebastian Bach can be on my TV, though. He’s funny on those VH1 I Love the *0s shows. Dee Snyder is a riot, too. They can hang around. But that Poison guy? He needs to give it up, deal with his male-pattern baldness, accept his paunch, give up the leather pants, and just kick it like he’s middle aged.

@Pedonator: Oh, The Bedazzler! Have I told you lately that I love you?

@JNOV: I refuse to be middle-aged. I’m working out harder than I did when I was 22. Of course, I need it more . . . .

@Mistress Cynica: Springsteen is a musician? I’ll be damned. @JNOV: I have to confess that I have come to love Dee Snyder, too. There is something charmingly narcissistic about him.

@Blue Gal: We will let you play here, but you must never kiss our collective ass like that again, except in late-night drunken maudlin confessions of unversal love. On such occasions it is traditional to say “my xon, you will dire.”

@SanFranLefty: Thanks so much, you are so sweet; no need to sponsor, but so nice to offer, we are gonna stake him suffificiently to make it respectable.

@Dodgerblue: Haha! But are you sporting leather pants and a spray-on tan? After my six-year stint in the Navy where I PTed daily (PT=physical training in Sailor Speak), I just let myself go. There are periods of time where I’m gung ho about being healthy and getting in prime condition, but now is not one of those times. Maybe in the spring…

@Promnight: My xon you will dire. Indeed.

Springsteen. Didn’t he discover Courtney Cox?

@Blue Gal: Gabba Gabba, We Accept You.

@JNOV: I may end up working in Philly, JNOV. If so, we can powerwalk to Ben’s shitter at lunch time this spring.

@nabisco: Oh, that would be THE BEST! Would you commute from the hinterlands, or would you move the family?

@nabisco: One of us! One of us!

@bluegalsblog@gmail.com: That female bloggers are subject to the same Cheetos jokes as male bloggers is truly a sign of how progressive we are here. Welcome aboard.

@Benedick: Totes. She’s in the video for “Dancing in the Dark.” But is that a strike against?

@Promnight: Wait til my demand for royalties comes in.

@Benedick: Gotta have the “I Fish and I Vote” bumper sticker.

@JNOV: Sebastian Bach actually has come cred. Metal Edge recently named a Skid Row album (forgot which one) to its list of 25 overlooked/underrated should be classic metal albums.

@Blue Gal: Come and join the party. Got to dress to kill. Drinks flow, people forget.

@redmanlaw: Awesome link, the Seeker still rocks that Fender something awesome.

@JNOV: Commute, if the pay is reasonable. I can ride the rails at a fairly decent monthly rate and still be home for g’nites with the kiddez.

@nabisco: Fuckin’ ‘ell, que no? That’s why I chose the 2007 version over the 82. MTV has been showing short clips between shows this weekend of the Bad Brains, who are big hefty dudes with grey in the beards and dreds but who are playing some awesome funk reggage metal that I am totally grooving on.

@mellbell: It’s just that his name rang a bell. Couldn’t think how. Then remembered. I heart Friends.

@redmanlaw: Would the “I’d rather be at rehearsal’ bumper sticker do as well?

@Blue Gal: If you don’t have anything nice to say, please come hang with us.
@JNOV: I like him well enough as a person When my brother was in high school, he loved Springsteen. Then the Boss cheated on his wife, and that was it for Bro of Cyn, who saw him as not only a man without honor, but an enormous hypocrite who didn’t believe anything he sang about. He sold all of his albums immediately, and to this day, calls Bruce “The Adulterer.” We are not a forgiving people.

@Mistress Cynica: Oh, my. I didn’t know about the cheating. Hmmmm. Have to roll that one around in my head some to decide how much weight to give it. But he never has, nor will he ever, receive(d) any of my money, so I doubt he cares what I think.

@nabisco: I think I know EXACTLY which line you’ll be on. That Amtrak train shares rails with our local SEPTA commuter line out by The Main Line, an affluent Philly suburb named because the train that goes through that area is the main line that will take you through Amishland (Lancaster area) to Harrisburg. Yup. If your train stops at Ardmore and then goes from Philly to NYC or DC at 30th St, I know the train.

@Benedick: Maybe a discreet oval sticker for the International Gay Rodeo Association as well.

@redmanlaw: I know everyone says this, but with Bruce, you have to see him live, and not in a stadium. Live, all you hear is aa shrieking wave of screaming, I mean screaming, guitars, wth some good drumming, every now and then. No words, no songs, just a wall of guitars. Its sooooo different from the recordings.

@Promnight: Well, I may have to take Mrs RML to see him in Denver in April. I’m hammering the webz at 10 am local tomorrow to get through on Ticketmaster.