Here’s how you launder a story: A supermarket tabloid is not a respectable news source (until, um, it is), but if you can get a respectable news source to comment on it, you’ve put it in play. Bonus points if the respectable news source brings it to your attention first.

So we’ve got Geezer flack Steve Schmidt emailing reporters: “The allegations contained on the cover of the National Enquirer insinuating that Governor Palin had an extramarital affair are categorically false.”

What allegations? What cover? What affair? Wait, what?

We of course refuse to stoop so low as to spread unfounded rumors. So here’s the cover to put the flack’s statement in context, and here’s a link to respectable Howard Kurtz dishing the details explaining the background. We thank you for helping us preserve our journalistic virtue.

McCain Aide Rips Tabloid Report [WaPo]

See more shocking teen pregnancies! Is her high school sweetheart ready for fatherhood? Did David Duchovny pick the right moment to duck into a pestorking addiction clinic?

Sums up “Democratic strategist” George Lakoff, “It’s conceivable a 17-year-old girl just screwed the GOP.”

Sarah Palin: Political Opponent Recalls Being Ridiculed [Us Weekly]

“Aug. 24: Oh Emm Gee – I’m going to be a dad. Holy shizzles, Bristol’s pregnant! I don’t think her mom knows yet.”

What? You thought? No, no, no.

Levi Johnston is a web developer from Phoenix who’s enjoying his inadvertent notoriety. If you have any website or database problems, you can email him at knocked.up@levijohnston.com. And near as we can tell, he’s owned the domain since 2003.

Levi Johnston Blog

Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old unmarried daughter is pregnant.

“Gov. Palin is a strong proponent of teaching abstinence-only sex education to teenagers,” reports ABC.

Palin says 17-year-old daughter is pregnant [AP]

Palin confirms daughter’s pregnancy [Independent UK]

Gov. Palin Says Her Unmarried 17-Year-Old Daughter Is Pregnant [ABC]