Alvin Greene is the Kindest, Bravest, Warmest, Most Wonderful Human Being We’ve Ever Known in Our Life

Guy walks into the South Carolina state Demrat office, lays down a check for $10,400 to file for the senate primary, doesn’t campaign or anything — hell, he lives with his parents — and wins.

After which everyone learns he has a past:

South Carolina’s surprise Democratic nominee to challenge U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint is facing a pending felony charge.

Court records show 32-year-old Alvin Greene was arrested in November and charged with showing obscene Internet photos to a University of South Carolina student. The felony charge carries up to five years in prison.

Greene said he had no comment when asked about the charge Wednesday and hung up on a reporter.

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you South Carolina: Just when you think they’ve exhausted their crazy, they just keep getting better.

Surprise SC Senate candidate has charge pending [AP]

This is Real Fishy [TPM]

Who Is Alvin Greene? [Mother Jones]


There are Democrats alive and voting in South Carolina?

Are they ready to lay on a little necrobestiality? Is S Carolina ready to rock the apocalyptically vulgar?

@Dave H: Two. Friends of mine. A lovely lesbian couple who got married before the one who used to be a man transitioned to female, so the marriage is still valid, as SC law doesn’t cover those situations (though I’m sure they’re working on it).

@Mistress Cynica: This is what I don’t comprehend about our homieosexual rights orgs – catt, oa, capt, prom, noje back me up here – If we are (I should really be singing this) to limit holy matrimony (HF you are not to be thinking Love and Marriage as recorded by Sinatra, you big ol’ hunka hunka hot lovin man) then we are gonna have to be workin out what is a man (johnny earle, you and me, 4evah!) and what is a woman (Gita, darling, I treated you so bad, and I hate that part of me, forget when I wept as I told you we had to break up in that restaurant on 8th street and please try to remember the night in Nashville when it lasted forever and the rain was blowing in from the window above our bed and soaked my back as we came together?) I mean HELLO. This is not rocket science, people. This is not even musical FUCKING theatre. This is about what goes where and why and how and when. I loved me the women and I will always be grateful to their tender ministrations to my rampant teenage cock (five times! all night. Nancy. Gorgeous. Courted by agents and studios to go out to Hollywood and be the next Gidget. I humbly kiss your beautiful vagina and open it up to my loving mouth. Daybreak over 19th street. Me staggering out into the racket of early morning Manhattan with the taste of you on my mouth. I hope you married well and got to know how it feels when a heatseeking missile really finds its home. Mine was only cruising. Dear Nancy, you were never a fag hag, you were a blessing. By the time we got together I was already a man of the world. Your friend who took my cherry was haggish but so infinitely patient till that moment came when a man could never truly love your budding womanliness found his moment of manness in you) but I had to get out of that lifestyle. It took a lot of prayer to and daily visits to HA but I made it.

And I thank John, my first true lover (Greenwich Village, vegetables, Stonewall), for showing me what the three piece set is for and how to handle an erection of steel.

Wait. What? What I mean is: mariage: man woman–

Hate to be simplistic in the company of our resident deep thinkers, but to me it all comes down to equality under the law and liberty and justice for all.

How long will it take for us to become a secular nation so we can look at these issues rationally? Another 800 years?

@redmanlaw: I think we started out secular, more or less. Depends on how you call the various Great Awakenings.

(And given how the Founding Fathers were Enlightenment types. Again, more or less.)


Did you take your pill? You forgot to take your pill, didn’t you?

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