The Coconut Brazilian, by David Mamet

A television studio. Night.

VAN SUSTEREN: You have said about your opponent, Mr. Rubio, that he is the greatest fraud perpetrated. So it sounds like you have had a couple of punches back as well. Why do you say that?

CRIST: Because he’s trying to pawn himself off as a fiscal conservative. And yet just in recent weeks, two weeks ago it has come out in news accounts he had a Republican Party of Florida credit card that he charged $130 haircut, or maybe it was a back wax — we are not sure what all he got at that place.

VAN SUSTEREN: Wait a second, stop. A back wax? Wait a second.

CRIST: I don’t know what it was, you know?

VAN SUSTEREN: I know, but was there a suggestion it was for a back wax, or are you being flip?

CRIST: I don’t know what it was. Initially we were told it was a haircut. And then he said it wasn’t a haircut. Then he had the gall to go on Neil Cavuto’s show and said it was his money. It was a credit card from the Republican Party. It was party donors’ money.

The detachment from reality is stunning to me. And to try to say that you’re a fiscal conservative, yet you spend $130 for maybe a haircut and maybe other things, I don’t know what you do at a salon when you are a guy.