Busy, Busy Beevers
Look, Google News, all I want to do is troll the headlines for some quick hits, and all I get is fucking National Spelling Bee links all over the fucking place.
Stop it. Stop it now. Or I’ll, um, riant your thermolysis.
Yes, it would be easy to joke about the contest being nothing more than an advertisement for Scrabble dictionaries. Or how the real spelling issue isn’t eidetic miscible brininess, but there, their and they’re.
But here’s what gets my sufflaminate in a galimatias: those poor abused children have to spell these words out loud, making the exercise completely irrelevant. I’m a champion fifth-grade speller, but my ability is entirely visual. I know how words look. On the page. Where we read them.
All you’re doing is teaching kids meaningless skills that will only prepare them for pointless, frustrating lives. Better to just drop the ruse now and hand them a spatula.
BURR DEMING • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Thank you for this, nojo. He was a wonderful talent and, by all accounts, a wonderful human…
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh, and there’s a Catholic church across the street. Maybe I can do a little dance for them!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Now that I’m in NYC, plenty of pigeons to poison in his honor.
NOJO • All the Vice President's Men 2025 update: Nothing happened. And here we are!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Only the sane parts... like the West coast, New England (minus the Bruins and…
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.