Gay Dads Have Less Gay Sex

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Who funded this study? I’d like to apply for a grant to study which dark beer is best.

I’m not comfortable with Sir Elton representing my people.

@JNOV: If I’m not mistaken that’s a Fox anchor.

@Dodgerblue: I think we don’t know enough about pugs. Pugs living in Iceland. It’s practically a tabula rasa.

I fully support the right of gays to form families and live out in suburbia if they want to. I, however, have no desire to have a child (can’t afford it), and I do not have a desire to go back to suburbia.

@Dodgerblue: The NSF might actually fund that if you’re lucky.

@rptrcub: I’m afraid of children.

@Benedick: Do they have decent beer in Iceland? I’m thinking we could combine these areas of inquiry for a study proposal the likes of which has never been seen.

@Benedick: @Dodgerblue: You can’t have a funded study without proper documentation, and I think this requires a custom iPhone app for fieldwork, with an iPhone Geek standing by for essential updates.

One request: Can you move the study to France or Italy?

@Dodgerblue: Try a Watson Fellowship. Srsly. My undergrad alumni magazine always features stories of them handing $25K to 22 year-olds to spend a year in Europe studying quilting patterns or some s&!t.

Dear Watson Fellowship:

I wish to propose a study comparing the responsiveness of pugs to their trainers after they’ve had a few. More specifically, how does free market dark beer compare to state beer in Iceland. When instructions are given in Icelandic how does that affect response time in pugs? Are there differences when instructions are given in Faroese? Can we predict the responsiveness of pugs by the amount of dark beer consumed? Is there an optimum amount of dark beer to drink in each language as measured by responsiveness of pugs? All data must of course be digitized and freely available on the web, posted in real time as an iPad app requiring resident staff of geek/s. Long-term investigation of data to be handled in the Dordogne region of France as being most suitable due to lack of magnetic pole interference and close vicinity of Bison Hogg Whatsit. Assemblage of data could take better part of a year. Please send money.

NB. All researchers will of course require staff and hangers on.

@Benedick: Would you need a propagandist?

@Benedick: “Staff” to include chorus boys and Brazilian beach volleyball players, female.

@rptrcub: Media outreach would of course be mandatory.

@Dodgerblue: That is the definition of ‘staff’.

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@JNOV: No one has ever done that to me. Of course, I’ve been told I come off as castrating.

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@JNOV: Excellent. We need to consider how this relates to the Sandy Eggo splort.

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I understand that if I program the app in Comic Sans, I’ll get a bonus grant.

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@JNOV: Focus: frog splort re castrating women.

@Benedick: Can we make it a comparative study measuring spaniels against pugs? And who would be drinking the beer, the person giving instruction to the pugs/spaniels or the dogs?

@karen marie still has her eyes tight shut: An excellent addition. The instructors would, of course , be the ones imbibing the dark beer. Under strictly controlled conditions naturally. As the study progresses – I’m not entirely sure that a period on one of the Antilles might not be required – cats, rabbits, and other domestic animals might need to be added as points of reference.

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@Mistress Cynica: That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

@Benedick: I think that “strictly controlled conditions” for these purposes means all the dark beer is on tap.

@Dodgerblue: Plus wifi.

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@JNOV: Will you be our medic? This could be like MASH, but with pugs.

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