Seven Experiments With Cats

Experiment #1 Methodology: Open the front door. Result: Cat does not go out. Nor does cat stay in. Conclusion: Cats are incapable of making up their own damn minds. Experiment #2 Methodology: Scratch belly while cat in supine position. Result: Blood. Conclusion: Human hand bears resemblance to small mammal whose entrails must be disgorged. Experiment …