As if we wouldn’t get this title back:

The English, who invented lawn mower racing, couldn’t let that stand. Don Wales went to Pendine Sands (in Wales) and reset the mark to 87.8.

Last month, [Georgia’s Bobby Cleveland] pushed the limit to a little over 96 miles per hour. The quote from Bobby says it all. “It scared me so good,” he said.

Lawn Mower Land Speed Record Returns to ‘Merica Where it Belongs [Jalopnik]

Theodore C. Sorensen died today at the age of 82. He was John F. Kennedy’s right hand guy through the ’50s and JFK’s presidency, and ghost wrote Profiles in Courage and large portions of the 1961 Inaugural address.

[NYT]

David S. Broder – because attacking a sovereign nation worked out so well the last time:

Here is where Obama is likely to prevail. With strong Republican support in Congress for challenging Iran’s ambition to become a nuclear power, he can spend much of 2011 and 2012 orchestrating a showdown with the mullahs. This will help him politically because the opposition party will be urging him on. And as tensions rise and we accelerate preparations for war, the economy will improve.

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Title: “Life”

Author: Keith Richards

Rank: 1

Blurb: “Keith Richards was born in London in 1943.”

Review: “If you criticize Mick to him, he’ll slit your throat.”

Customers Also Bought: “Decision Points”, by George W. Bush

Footnote: Sixty-fucking-seven in December. Everybody lost that office pool.

Life [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

Our guest columnist this afternoon is Jon Stewart, writing in 2004.

A free and independent press is essential to the health of a functioning democracy. It serves to inform the voting public on matters relevant to its well-being. Why they’ve stopped doing that is a mystery. I mean, 300 camera crews outside a courthouse to see what Kobe Bryant is wearing when the judge sets his hearing date, while false information used to send our country to war goes unchecked? What the fuck happened? These spineless cowards in the press have finally gone too far. They have violated a trust. “Was the president successful in convincing the country?” Who gives a shit? Why not tell us if what he said was true? And the excuses. My God, the excuses! “Hey, we just give the people what they want.” “What can we do, this administration is secretive.” “But the last season of Friends really is news.” The unmitigated gall of these weak-willed… You’re supposed to be helping us, you indecent piles of shit! I… fuck it. Just fuck it…

Why anybody should expect that Jon Stewart, speaking in 2010, should be any different, is beyond us.

America (The Book) [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

As you enjoy the festivities in Washington, please permit me to throw ice water on your fun.  I do this because, of course, we all know what is coming.  Barring a miracle, the Dems will lose the House, and the Senate will probably hang on the vote of Joe Lieberman, of all people.

Not a surprise, in light of the usual performance of out-parties in midterms.  But the whos and hows this time around make my head hurt.  For example, take Sharron Angle (please).  When asked about her views on foreign policy, her response left something to be desired.  Like, for instance, an actual thought.  She said: “I’ll answer those questions when I’m the Senator.” 

She said this the week before an election.  And she still could win.  Oh, to be a fly on the wall when she goes in for the inevitable policy boot-camp Jim DeMint is going to run for his new minions.  That will be hilarious.

Seriously, though:  The Dems had momentum and a clear mandate for change.  They passed sweeping legislation — not a whole loaf by any stretch, but something tangible.  And they are about to lose to a bunch of people who are as content-free as a documentary on the life of a mayfly.  And not just content-free, but people who actually break into fits when asked to think about something.  What this says about politics, and about Americans, is almost too frightening to contemplate.  It is enough to say that, if ever there was a moment for sanity, it is now.

With that: OPEN THREAD!  Laugh to keep from crying, everyone.

Yahoo’s Michael Calderone, formerly Politico’s Michael Calderone, shows how a professional wordsmith gins up controversy where none exists:

As was the case with the Beck event, commentators and critics are having a hard time trying to pin down exactly what Stewart is up to this week leading into the event. The Comedy Central host sat down with President Obama and has regularly touted the show’s effort to assemble (as Beck also claimed to) disaffected individuals seeking sanity from the hyper-charged political atmosphere and 24/7 news cycle.

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